There in a Heartbeat
by DelicateKTheory
Summary: What happens when Donna's cousin crashes at her pad in Point Place? A twist of the show. Chapter 19 up. DE, JH, JK, KB. Please, read! Please, comment.
1. Prologue

_I'm re-posting this. It got some really bad reviews last time, so I tweaked things a bit. I'm just putting up the prologue for right now, so if you like the idea then leave me some feedback._

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**_Hashlords_****** **_Michigan_******

**_Cliff & Lisa Pinciotti's Righteous Pad. _**

Point Place, Wisconsin. It was an isolated little community that was barely visible on a road map. Had Melissa's uncle and eldest cousin not lived there, she probably would have stumbled through the rest of her life oblivious to its existence. Neatly folding her clothes into a tiny suitcase, Melissa tried to convince herself that this situation would only be temporary, but she knew better.

"Just think of it as a vacation," her father slurred.

"To the middle of nowhere," Melissa grumbled as she slammed the suitcase shut.

"This is what's best for you," her mother added.

"My parents becoming swingers isn't what I call best for me," she retorted, pushing passed them. "By my calculations," she continued, walking into the living room with her suitcase in hand, "in about three months, your marital solution will cause you two to lose the house, and then I'll have no home to come back to when the two of you regain your sanity."

"Oh, sweetheart," Lisa Pinciotti laughed, flipping her Farrah Fawcett styled hair as she entered the living room. "Your father and I aren't swingers and never will be."

"That's right," Cliff nodded, following close behind his wife. "I'm a raging alcoholic and your mother's dope-dealing whore."

Melissa spun around in shock at his detailed admission, "Daddy!"

"It's the truth, dear," Lisa laughed light-heartedly. "It's like your father always used says, 'An honest home is a happy home.' Being honest with you is one step closer to us being honest with each other."

"Daddy has never said that," Melissa scowled. "He's always said, 'If you fall off life's bar stool and get back up, you're clearly not drunk enough.'"

Lisa thought a moment and shrugged. "It must be from one of my customers, but you get what I mean." She took her daughter into one more half-hearted embrace before she let her only child walked out the door.

"Okay. Okay," Cliff hurriedly broke them up. "You're going to miss your bus."

"It doesn't come for another hour," Melissa protested while being shoved out the front door by both parents.

Lisa and Cliff laughed, which was quickly becoming an annoyance. Still, Melissa should've been glad that the two of them were finally getting along with one another even though they were kicking her out of the house in order to, "get hip with the times since their seventeen years of marriage has been full of lies, not to mention a total drag."

"Well, it's going to take that long for you to get to the bus stop, silly," both of them said at the exact same moment.

"You know we had to sell the car to pay the bills…and other stuff," Lisa added.

"This is so not fair," Melissa whined, standing pathetically on her doorstep. "You can't just ship me off somewhere and move on with your lives."

"Of course, we can, sweetheart," Cliff smiled, thrusting Melissa's suitcase into her chest. "We're your parents. That's our right. Now, once you get to your Uncle Bob's, give us a call, and one call is all you get. We can't pay for all that long distance, ya know? We'll see you in a few months, a year at the most. Remember, that your mom and I love you, not because we have to, but because you do our laundry."

Melissa flinched as the door was slammed in her face. She was without a family, without any friends, and without any hope for what was to become of her life.

"I'm just going to say I'm adopted if anyone asks," she sighed.

She drew in a gloomy breath and looked up at the sky as the rain began to fall.   



	2. Chapter 1

_I want to thank those who left comments. I'm glad that I've caught your attention. To answer the question, yes the original pairings in the story will remain like those of the show, but in a much more interesting way. The only person that will not be in this story is Sam because I didn't like her. LOL! Enjoy! _

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The year of 1977 was to be a year of great importance, but unfortunately as Eric Forman and his friends gathered in his basement to smoke the latest batch of Mary Jane, not to mention burn a ridiculous amount of incense, that sense of importance was forgotten. Eric sat in the circle, surrounded by a haze of smoke, and staring from person to person as he laughed to himself about absolutely nothing.

With glazed eyes and a semi-conscious smile, Donna Pinciotti turned to her former boyfriend. "Wasn't there something we were supposed to do today?" she asked.

Eric paused as he struggled to regain some sort of thought process.

"Nope," he answered.

"They say this stuff is bad for you," Steven Hyde laughed hysterically. "I can't see why it's so bad when it makes you feel so good, man. Damn the U.S. Government!"

As if she were struck by lightening, Donna leapt up from her chair.

"Crap," she wailed. "Eric, we were supposed to pick up my cousin, Melissa, at the bus station, like, two hours ago!" She stumbled to her feet and grabbed Eric; the two of them raced out the basement door.

"Melissa," Michael Kelso laughed, nodding his head for no particular purpose. "I hope she's hot. Do you guys think she's gonna be hot, man? She better be hot."

Melissa Pinciotti sighed as she glanced at her watch once more. She sat uncomfortably on the bench outside the Point Place bus station. Uncertain with the unfamiliar territory of this small Wisconsin community, Melissa longed for her home in Michigan. However, what she longed for most at that moment consisted of her cousin's arrival and a place to rest her head.

"What's taking them so long?" she wondered aloud.

Eric's Vista Cruiser sped recklessly into the bus station parking lot. He and Donna quickly got out of the car.

"Missy," she called.

Melissa stood, smiled, and turned to face her older cousin.

"Sorry we were late," Eric offered in apology as he and Donna approached. "We were busy doing…stuff."

"I was beginning to worry," she began. "I have been sitting at this station for fourteen hours, fifty-two minutes, and…five seconds."

Eric looked at Melissa baffled, and then he mumbled to Donna, "Bit of a nerd isn't she?"

"You're one to talk," Donna hissed, feigning an innocent smile, "Mr. Star Wars Bed Sheets."

"Right," Eric laughed nervously. "Let's get going."

As the trio returned to the basement, Melissa did not get the warm welcome she had half expected. Kelso was eagerly waiting at the door as she entered. He leapt back in horror at her appearance. To him, Melissa was grotesque.

"Damn, Donna!" he wailed. "She's supposed to be hot, not the brace-faced version of Bob...You should send that thing back to the zoo she came from!"

"Michael!" Jackie Burkhart scorned her boyfriend. "You shouldn't be so hard on her. It's not her fault she isn't as beautiful as we are."

Melissa shuffled nervously. In truth, she was not what one could define as a beauty queen. She was slightly large for her age, had oily skin, coke-bottle glasses, and a terrible complexion. The last thing she needed was a random guy pointing that out.

"You must be Jackie, the bitchy midget," Melissa responded innocently.

"Burn!" Kelso yelled with glee.

"And you," Melissa turned to Michael, "you must be Kelso, the conceited moron."

"Hey," Michael responded. "I am _not_ conceited."

"Missy's going to be staying with me for a while," Donna informed.

"She's got spunk, man," Steven laughed. "I like her already."

When Melissa's eyes fell upon Steven as he sat in his usual chair in front of the television set, her heart found its way into her throat. Everything about him was captivating, his curly brown afro, side burns, firm jaw, and the dark gradient sunglasses that masked his blue eyes. She found herself stammering in an attempt to speak.

"I'm M-Melissa," she finally said.

Steven raised an eyebrow. "We've already established that, you Melissa…me Steven."

She giggled with a snort. "Steven," she sighed softly.


	3. Chapter 2

Melissa's first day at Point Place High School was a disaster. She couldn't have been more miserable. She sat at the lunch table, not a familiar face in her sight, except for Fez. He was the foreign exchange student, and to her talking to him was like trying to have a conversation a brick wall.

"…And that is why I am still a virgin," Fez ended sadly.

"Have you tried prostitution?" Melissa offered absent-mindedly.

"I have," he answered, "but the cafeteria ladies say they do not work for that cheap."

She looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"It appears that you are going to be my only friend this year, Fez," she sighed with sadness. "Can I at least know your real name? I'm certain you have another name besides Fez."

He inhaled a deep breath and began the endless pronunciation of his actual name, which lasted the rest of the lunch period—fifteen minutes. Melissa stared at him with her mouth agape as he finally finished.

"Yeah," she responded. "I might need you to write that one down."

Fez smiled with a nod as the two exited the cafeteria.

Melissa struggled to make it to the Vista Cruiser; she stopped several times. Her mathematics books rested awkwardly in each arm. She groaned when she came to the realization that Eric and the others were not at the car yet. She kept her eyes fixed on the ground as the popular children walked passed. To her surprise, several members of the football team stopped in front of her.

"Can I h-help y-you?" she asked nervously as she slowly raised her head.

"C-can't y-you talk?" the captain of the team mimicked, laughing he added, "What's your name, kid?"

"Melissa," she mumbled.

"What," he asked, taking an aggressive step forward. "What was that? I couldn't quite hear you." As this intimating figure bore down upon her, Melissa found herself cowering against the car. He only laughed as he tossed her books effortlessly from her hands.

"Hey cut it out, man," Steven yelled as he and Eric came to her aid.

"You stay out of this!" the boy responded.

"Yeah," Eric whispered to Hyde. "Stay out of this before he folds us up like accordions and does a tap dance on our faces."

He refused and stepped in front of Melissa.

"And I said cut it out, man," Steven responded firmly.

"Or what?" the brawny football player laughed.

A thunderous crack echoed, and the tormentor hit the cement. Steven stood above him with clenched fists and a smile across his face.

"You'll be kissing the pavement like so," he answered.

"Yeah," Eric laughed excitedly. "How do you like us now? C'mon get up loser. Do you want a piece of me? C'mon Darth Vader. You want a piece of Luke Skywalker? Huh? Do ya'?"

"Yeah, Forman," Steven mumbled, getting into the car. "You really showed him."

Melissa looked at her protector as if he were some gift from God. Dazed and love-struck, she climbed into the Vista Cruiser, and the three teenagers headed to Eric's house.

Steven sat at the Forman's kitchen table, Melissa next to him, and Eric stood at the entrance of the sliding door. Red Forman, Eric's father, emerged from the living room.

Kitty Forman gave her nasal-like chuckle as she placed an ice pack on Steven's bruised knuckles. "Oh, I just don't see," she began, "how on earth tripping over yourself gave you bruised knuckles."

"I know," Steven agreed with slight sarcasm. "Who would have thought my shoe's being untied would have caused such a commotion?"

"Shoe strings that nearly got you suspended," Eric laughed.

Melissa glared at him sharply.

"Hey, Mrs. Forman," Steven grinned, "Eric was just telling us how much he wanted to go antiquing with you today."

"Hyde!" Eric gasped, his beady eyes bulging from his head.

Kitty squealed in delight. "Oh, Eric this is so exciting."

"Really, mom," he attempted to weasel his way out, "I'd love to, but I have math homework."

"Since when do you ever do your homework?" Red questioned sarcastically. "You're going antiquing with your mother."

"And what if I don't?" he asked, feigning bravery.

"If you don't," Red clenched his jaw, "then you'll be helping my foot go antiquing at a place called 'In Your Ass!'"

"Fine," Eric's head drooped in defeat. "C'mon, mom, let's go." Kitty bound eagerly out the sliding door. He followed. Hyde laughed as he rose from his seat at the table.

Melissa and Steven sat silently in the Eric's basement. An absurd program blared on the television. Steven sat in his usual chair with his feet propped upon the table. Melissa alternated her glances between the television and him. His injured hand rested on his chest. She began to make a comment, but quickly decided against it and returned her attention back to the television.

"Will you quit staring at me? It's starting to freak me out!" Steven groaned in annoyance.

"I'm sorry," Melissa glanced at the floor. "I was just wondering how your hand was?"

"It's fine. No need for amputation," he responded with a smirk, "but I won't be able to perform a certain something in the bathroom for a good while."

She looked at him in confusion. "Okay?"

He stared at her a moment and could not help but laugh at her innocence.

"I thought that was really nice of you today," she complimented.

"Well, don't get use it," he retorted coldly. "I made a deal to look after you…I did, and that's the end of it. From here on out, you're looking after yourself, kid." He turned his attention back to his program.

"Well, I appreciate your selflessness anyway… Stevey," she said sarcastically.

Hyde raised a brow. "Stevey? Did you just call me Stevey?"

"No," she denied quickly.

"Yes, you did."

"No, I didn't"

"YES, you did!"

"NO, I didn't….I think I would remember if I called you Stevey… Stevey."

"There!" he wailed, shaking his index finger. "You just did it again!"

"I did not!"

"Did!"

"Not!

"Did!"

"Not!"

"Fine," he screamed in aggravation. "Just sit there and watch the freakin' show!"

Melissa folded her arms angrily. She was more angered, however, by her thoughtless slip-up rather than at Steven. She could never be angry with Steven—never.


	4. Chapter 3

While Steven frantically searched for his missing sunglasses, Jackie accompanied Melissa to her locker. She impatiently tapped her foot as Melissa rummaged through her locker in a stealthy manner but, of course, she was too wrapped up within her own thoughts to pay much attention.

"Will you hurry up?" she barked, tossing her brunette hair behind her shoulders. "I left Michael by the water fountain, and you know how he is. If I leave him alone for more than ten seconds, he'll get lost in the hall. Then he'll spend the majority of his fourth period, circling the school, trying to find his classroom."

"Okay. Okay," Melissa groaned, quickly yanking her book from the locker. A pair of familiar sunglasses plummeted to the floor as she promptly shut the locker door.

"What's that?" Jackie inquired with deep intrigue.

"Nothing," Melissa shook her head.

Jackie held out her hand. "Come on," she coaxed. "Let me see them."

She shook her head again while clutching the glasses. "It's nothing."

Jackie gasped in horror. "Those are Steven's aren't they?"

Refusing to answer, Melissa backed defensively in front of her locker.

"You're hiding something," the brunette concluded. "I'm going to find out you know…one way or another." Melissa did not have a fighting chance as Jackie pushed her aside. The suspense was agonizing as the locker door flew open.

"NO!" Melissa yelled in panic.

"Ewww!" Jackie shrieked as her eyes were flooded with random pictures of Steven, which littered the inside of the tiny compartment. Melissa's dignity vanished. She was now naked, exposed, and the subject of Jackie's ridicule.

"You sick, sad, little peasant," Jackie scorned. "Just wait until Steven finds out about this."

"Jackie, you can't tell Steven," she pleaded.

"I can," Jackie responded regally, "and I do believe I will."

"Fine," Melissa folded her arms. "If you tell on me, I'll tell…I'll tell Kelso that you really use a generic shampoo brand, that you make him buy the expensive brands just to get him to spend money on you and…and I'll tell him your feet smell like rotten eggs!"

Jackie gasped. "You wouldn't dare?"

"Oh, yes I would!"

Melissa waited for Jackie to make another remark, but instead, she gave a small huff in response and stormed off in the opposite direction. She gave a sigh of relief.

Steven stalked around the department store in search of new sunglasses to replace his missing pair. He examined several and tossed them furiously aside. He found his mind wandering aimlessly on Donna. He knew it was useless to have any thought of her—she belonged to Forman. As much as he took pride in being a careless hooligan, he still had emotions whether he choose to admit it. Steven had spent his whole life encasing the very heart he claimed to not have behind his callous exterior. Abandoned by his father and disregarded by his mother, Steven had the inability to express affection towards anyone—except Donna. Just like Steven's opinion of his life, he viewed his feelings for Donna as disappointing.

"Maybe it was a different Hyde," Fez shook his head in disbelief. Jackie could barely contain her excitement as she confessed to Eric, Donna, Kelso, and Fez what she had witnessed earlier that day. Secrets, according to Jackie, could become valuable assets during her usual blackmail.

"Missy and Hyde," Eric shuttered, "never thought I'd say this but that's even worse than you and Kelso."

"Listen to this," she added, almost giddy. "She even stole his ratty-old sunglasses." She turned to Donna. "I'm not trying to be mean…no wait…yes, yes I am. You're cousin is a sad, unfashionable, little freak."

Donna shrugged. "Really guys, it's not that big a deal."

Kelso suggested, "As a safety precaution, I think we should kick her out of the circle."

She looked at him bewildered. "Kelso, she's not even in the circle."

"Besides," Eric added playfully, "if we were to go by safety precautions, we would've kicked you out a long…long time ago."

With a pouting expression, Michael folding his arms and put his Popsicle in his mouth.

"Melissa doesn't know I've told you this….Fez…And she's not going to know is she… Fez…This will stay between us right… Fez?" Jackie demanded. Everyone turned the attention to him.

"I can keep a secret," Fez reassured.

Everyone looked at him a moment and then burst into laughter.

"I can," he insisted.

"Right," Kelso scoffed. " Fez, you always tell Jackie when I cheat on her!"

"Michael!" Jackie shrilled.

He looked at her puzzled. "What?"

Before another argument erupted between the two, Steven walked through the basement door empty-handed and plopped down in his chair. Everyone stared at him in silence.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Nothing," Fez replied uncomfortably. "Why would you think something is up? I do not know anything. What would make you think I have a secret?"

Hyde chuckled. "You couldn't keep a secret if your life depended on it."

"I have secrets, Hyde," he declared persistently.

Steven shook his head. "No, we all know about the dirty magazines that you steal from Forman, and the fact that you hide in the bushes to watch Donna undress."

" Fez!" Donna shrilled.

"So," Jackie inquired, "did you find your hideous glasses, Steven?"

"No," he mumbled. "Why do you care?"

"I don't. I was just curious if you know where they would be," she smiled smugly. Steven arched a brow in suspicion.

"Okay," he responded. "Do you guys know something I don't?"

Simultaneously everyone answered, "No."

Fez shuffled uncomfortably as he felt Steven's gaze upon him, and to prolong his unpleasantness, Melissa bound down the basement stairs.

"What's wrong?" she questioned, looking at Fez, who by that moment began sweating profusely.

"I don't know. Why don't you tell us?" Jackie smiled sinisterly.

Her face paled slightly. "I have no clue what you're talking about."

"Oh, come on," Fez cried. "How can you not remember having a crush on Hyde?"

" Fez!" Everyone else shouted.

"Oops…" he smiled nervously.

"Huh?" Hyde sat up in his chair.

Melissa's eyes widened.

"Jackie," she exclaimed. "You said you weren't going to tell!"

"Hey," she responded indifferently, "I said I wouldn't tell Steven…I just told everyone else."

Melissa slowly turned to face Steven.

"Quick," Kelso whispered exuberantly to Eric. "Get the popcorn. This is better than a movie."

"Look, Steven," she began. "I didn't want to…"

He shrugged. "Whatever, it's cool. You like me, right?" He didn't wait for her respond, "Of course you do. I'm the badass you've always dreamed of."

"You mean to tell me I did all that backstabbing for absolutely nothing!" Jackie declared, shaking her head in disgust. "I swear there's just no good dirt on people anymore."

"Wait," Donna looked at Hyde in surprise, "you mean you're not freaked by this?"

"Whatever," he shrugged again. "How bad could it be?"

Steven felt that her infatuation with him would only last a day or two, which would be long enough for her to realize how complicated he was. A young lady of her intelligence would become aware of the fact that she deserved much better than a troublesome orphan. Like every situation, Steven would react calmly and let it run its course. In fact, had he been an affectionate person, he would almost consider her innocent adoration of him flattering; however, even he couldn't prepare himself for what was in store.


	5. Chapter 4

Steven darted through the basement door, frantically shutting it behind him. He peered through the dusty window and breathed a sigh of relief when _she_ was no where in sight. Eric and Donna stared at him in curiosity. He simply cleared his throat fretfully and sat down in his chair.

"Well," Eric mused, sitting on the back of the couch, "looks like someone's a little extra paranoid today, huh Hyde?"

Steven glared at him. "Shut up, Forman. Melissa's after me, okay?"

Eric laughed. "You're also convinced the government is out to get you."

"The government is out to get me," he responded sternly. "Whatever, man, this is serious."

Donna laughed, "Come on, Hyde. You said it yourself it can't be that bad."

"Oh, no, it's not bad," he shook his head. "It's much worse…She's a freakin' stalker, man! She's everywhere I turn. She had to walk with me to each class, and on top of that, I found myself wanting to go to class just avoid her."

"What!" Eric let out a prepubescent shriek of shock. "Hyde…actually attending class. This really is serious!"

"Stevey!"

The high-pitched squeal fell like daggers upon his ears. He suddenly leapt from his chair. He quickly searched the room for a hiding place and came to the turquoise shower curtain that hid the knick-knacks in the corner adjacent to him. That would have to do. He dashed toward the corner and pulled the curtain in front of him just as Melissa came through the door.

"Woo," she sighed breathlessly, "he's a hard one to catch…If I would've known we were racing I would've worn better shoes."

"What?" Eric looked surprised. "You mean you chased…raced him all the way here?" He cast a glance at Donna and muffled a snicker.

"Uh huh," she nodded excitedly. She scanned the room, only to find that Steven was not present. Her smile wilted in disappointment. "I could have sworn I saw him go in here," she frowned. "Have you guys seen him?"

Eric grinned at the opportunity of delivering a massive "burn" to Hyde.

"Maybe you should try behind that curtain over there," he offered casually.

"Damn it, Forman!" Steven growled.

"Stevey?" she giggled, pulling back the curtain. "What on earth are you doing in there?"

"Searching for my sanity," he mumbled.

She snorted in ecstasy as he brushed passed her. "Stevey," she sighed.

"C'mon, Forman," he said hurriedly. "We're supposed to meet Kelso at The Hub."

"We are?" Eric looked confused.

"Yes," he emphasized. "_We_ are."

"Oh," Melissa shrilled in delight, "can I come with?"

"No," he answered flatly, even as she followed them up the stairs.

"Please."

"No."

"Please, Stevey."

"I said to quit calling me that."

"Stevey, please can I come?"

"No!"

The pair argued back and forth, all the way out the front door and to the car. Much to Steven's dismay, Melissa had weaseled her way into the car; therefore, his persistence was null and void. Even as they rode to The Hub, he continued to tell her she could not join them.

The three arrived at restaurant. Melissa was clinging to Steven as if he were some lost child.

"Isn't this way cool," she purred as the group sat down at their usual table, "all of us together?" She snuggled close to Steven.

"Groovy," Hyde groaned, attempting to wiggle free from her obsessive grasp.

Eric shuffled uneasily. The situation was getting unbearable even for him. "Hey, Mel, don't you have homework to do?"

"No," she sighed as she admired Hyde's facial features

"Quit looking at me!" he growled.

"Hey, I have an idea," Donna offered. "Why don't you do Hyde's homework? After all, he could use a passing grade every once and awhile."

Although that was the most absurd suggestion, Melissa seemed to fall for it.

"Oh," she gasped, "Stevey, you didn't say you were having trouble with your studies. I'd be delighted to lighten your load. I've always wanted to do twelfth grade mathematics."

"Go for it, man!" Steven responded in excitement while feigning a smile. "You should go get started on it right now. I mean why wait."

"You're right," Melissa leapt up from her chair in excitement. "And while I'm at it, Eric, I can clean up your basement. You guys are always leaving it such a mess."

"Great," Eric mimicked her excitement. "Aren't you just the sweetest thing?"

Melissa turned, breathing in her heavily nasal-like manner, "Anything to help my Steven." She then skipped out the front door.

Eric sighed. "That was close huh?"

"Thanks, man. I owe you," Steven said as Eric sat next to him. He glared at Eric a moment and then nailed him with a hard punch to the arm. Eric let out a shriek of pain while looking at Hyde in shock. "A punch…That's for ratting on me you dillhole!" he added.

Melissa had finally finished Steven's math homework and history report. She had worked diligently on it for the passed hour after she had cleaned Eric's basement, and now she decided to visit the Forman's to give Hyde his completed homework assignments.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Forman," Melissa said as she cheerfully entered the Forman's kitchen. "Is Steven here?"

"No," Kitty smiled. "He's still at The Hub, is there something I can help you with?"

"No," she smiled. "I just came to give him his homework assignments. I just finished them. At this rate, he won't have any homework for a week when I'm done."

Kitty laughed, slightly disturbed while Red looked as though he did not want anything to do with the situation. "Isn't that nice," she laughed again. "You're doing Steven's homework…Isn't that nice, Red?"

"Do you know when he'll be back?" Melissa asked.

"Hopefully never," Red mumbled.

Kitty looked at him crossly and then smiled at Melissa. "No, I do not, but I'll be more than willing to tell him you dropped by if you'd like."

"No, no," she shook her head. "I'll just wait here until he returns." She took an unwanted seat at their kitchen table. Kitty and Red stood at the kitchen sink exchanging worried glances at each other.

"Oh, Red," Kitty hissed, turning on the sink faucet for no reason, "you've got to do something…she's stalking the poor boy."

"Jeez, Kitty," he groaned, "isn't it enough that I have to deal with Eric?"

"Red," she scorned, "the girl has no father figure."

"She has Bob," he insisted.

"Now, you know Bob. I mean look what he's done to poor Donna," Kitty persisted. "Think about it, you could help save her from ending up with someone like Eric." Her clever trickery worked and Red sighed.

"Fine," he responded. "I'll talk to the fruitcake, but I'm not making any promises."

"Oh, Red," she chuckled again.

"Hey, Melissa," he began, taking a seat in front of her. "Let's have a little chat."

"Right," Kitty added. "I'll just leave you two alone." She scurried from the kitchen into the living room. Though, she most likely had her head pressed against the door eavesdropping.

Red sat staring at Melissa for what seemed like an eternity. He held a firm expression as he searched for a way to begin the conversation. She began to become uncomfortable as the staring continued.

"Is there something you need to talk to me about?" she finally asked.

"Quit being a dumbass," he replied bluntly.

"I beg your pardon," she gasped, her eyes wide.

"You're stalking Steven, doing his homework, becoming his hip ornament. That is not the way to win his affection. Steven is a weird, troubled, spiteful, young man. Believe me, kid. You want nothing to do with that."

"Steven and I are meant to be, Mr. Forman," she insisted.

"Meant to be what, jail mates?" Red scoffed.

"I have faith in Steven," she exclaimed.

"Really," Red laughed. "Can I borrow your faith in him because I can't find mine?"

Her attention was diverted at the slam of the front door.

She turned to Red confused. "Are you going somewhere with this?"

He sighed, his face still stern. "I never thought I'd say this, but maybe you should take the advice of the French troops when they're on the frontline during war…retreat while you still can. You're heading for heartbreak, kid."

She smiled. "Oh, good, I think he's here…I really appreciate your concern, Mr. Forman, but I can take care of myself." She stood from the table and left for the basement.

"If we have this conversation again," he called, "there's a good chance my foot will be in your ass young lady!"

Steven, Eric, Kelso, and Fez had ransacked the basement in search of their stash. Melissa stared in horror as Steven tossed the couch cushions about the room. "Guys, I just cleaned up in here!"

"Missy," Hyde said frantically, "have you seen a little paper bag anywhere?"

"You mean that bag of Oregano I found in the Candy Land box?" she asked.

Steven turned to her, anger written on his face. "Or-Oregano…Oregano," he stammered as he strained to remain calm.

"That wasn't Oregano!" Kelso wailed. "And you guys call me the idiot."

Steven clenched his jaw and questioned through gritted teeth, "Where did you put the 'Oregano'?"

Melissa looked nervous, but smiled. "Mrs. Forman's cooking supplies, of course."

"Oh, God…Oh, jeez," Eric cried in panic.

"Give us back our stash you basement-raiding bastard," Fez stormed.

Melissa's face grew pale and her chin trembled in fear. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Go," Hyde demanded in frustration. "Just go."

She nodded and slowly backed out the basement door.

The guys drew straws to see which unlucky individual had to go upstairs and retrieve the stash—Eric was the loser. He soon returned with his mother's bottle of Oregano. The four guys inevitably passed around the stash mixed with the cooking herb and prayed that it would be just as effective, but of course, if it was effective none of them would remember. Steven would have given anything to forget his tumultuous day.

"Women, man," Steven laughed, engulfed by smoke. "You do one thing nice for the girl, and what does she do? She starts chucking her underwear at my head. Normally, that's way cool, but this chick is physco, man! That's way uncool."

Fez was angered and envious. He exclaimed, "No body chucks underwear at my head…you lucky son-of-a-bitch!" A pair of white underwear soared through the air and into his lap. He picked them up and admired them with a smile.

"Oh, thank you," he mused.

Eric had a disgusted expression. "Kelso, that's just weird."

"I love not wearing pants," Michael shouted with glee.

Steven began his usual philosophical rant. "Melissa's a woman, and women are like the government…unstable and take every penny you have when your back is turned."

"You don't have any money to start with," Eric informed.

"See," he responded, shaking his index finger. "That's my point."

Michael laughed unevenly and said, "If you end up doing it with Missy, be sure to keep you're eyes closed and the lights off. She'd be enough to scare a straight man gay." He shuttered at the thought.

"Get your dignity back. Be a man," Eric shrilled. "Just tell her to back off."

Melissa felt horrible for Steven getting upset with her the day before. As a peace offering, she baked him a batch of her delicious chocolate chip cookies. With her tray of cookies in hand, she marched unusually confident into the basement.

"Oh, cookies," Fez shouted happily, reaching for a cookie as she entered.

"Oh, great," Hyde muttered, sitting at his usual spot.

"No," she scorned, swatting Fez's hand away. "These aren't for you." She approached Steven while offering the tray she had brought. "These are for you."

Steven stared at her a moment. "No, thank you," he denied coldly before turning back to the television. She was visibly hurt by his actions, but she forced a smile and simply sat down the tray on the coffee table.

"Well, look," she began, "I was just hoping you would forgive me for whatever happened between us yesterday."

He shrugged. "Whatever."

"Oh, thank you," she gasped, immediately returning to her normal annoying existence. "I just knew you would forgive me…Stevey, you're just wonderful…wonderful."

Melissa crossed into uncharted territory when she threw her arms around his neck. Everyone gasped in fear—anyone in his or her right mind knew better than to touch Hyde.

He growled and forcefully pried her off of him. "It's Steven…Steven, not Stevey!" he yelled in anger. "I'm sorry, but you'd think a smart girl like you would get a clue."

"Okay," she muttered as her eyes widened with shock and perhaps fear. "Steven."

He stood from his chair, glaring at her infuriately. "You know what, man? No, I'm not sorry. This is getting way out of hand. At first, it may have been at the least cute, but you just won't leave me alone. Can't you dig that I'm not at all interested in you? Never have been, never will be. Now, get your own life weirdo and get out of mine!"

Tears had welled up in Melissa's eyes as she stared at him with a blank expression.

"Dude, Hyde, don't you think that's way too harsh?" Eric intervened.

"No," he replied. "I haven't let The Man keep me down and I ain't about to let some cheese weasel, fruity, little chick, either."

As hurt as she had first appeared, a storm of rage passed over her usually calm face.

"Get bent!" she screamed, even to her own surprise. "You know, I don't want to be here anymore than you want me here. If my parents actually wanted me back at their pad, I'd be there…Totally, I'll admit I was pretty stoked when a guy like you took up for me…I thought I'd found a descent dude. Maybe you'd see that. We'd have a little something, and I could tolerate not having my parents affections, but I see now I was wrong!"

Steven stood in astonishment and it looked as though he were almost sympathetic.

"Yeah," she choked as tears began to fall from her eyes. "Why would a burn out like you want something to do with a good girl like me?" She had no intentions of waiting for him to respond as she ran out of the basement. Her sobs were heard as she left the house.

"Awww," Fez pouted with a sly grin. "Missy's hurt…I should go 'comfort' her."

"No!" Everyone responded at once.

He pouted and shrunk back in his seat.

Donna looked at Steven, and hoped that he would have enough heart to run after her cousin—he refused to budge. She decided she had to go find Melissa herself and rose to leave.

Donna immediately changed her mind and turned to him. "You started this mess," she said, "so don't think for a minute that you're going to just sit and chill."

"Chicks," he mumbled, reluctantly following his friends as they exited the basement.

The four friends were later joined by Kelso and Jackie as everyone hiked around the surrounding area. The night air began to spread quite a chill and because of that eventually everyone opted to scour the streets in the Vista Cruiser. Eric drove, with Donna in the center of the front seat, and then Steven sat next to her, while Fez, Jackie, and Kelso rode in the back seat. In fear of her little cousin's safety, Donna became extremely emotional.

"This is all you're fault you dillhole," she cried while smacking Hyde furiously.

"Hey, man," he pleaded. "Watch the 'fro."

"See," Jackie pointed out. "I've always said he wasn't a people person…Now look what he's done, he's scarred… well made an even deeper scar in that poor, ugly girl's life."

"Here's what I don't get," Michael began, "how anyone could miss a beached whale that ugly? I look at it this way by helping Missy stay lost we'd being doing her a huge favor."

"Burn!" he shouted after a moment.

"This isn't helping," Donna retorted.

"Look, Donna," Eric tried to console. "It's getting really late, and I think it would be best if we just go home and tell Bob she's missing."

Feeling helpless, Donna nodded.

Though he would never admit it, Hyde was racked with guilt. The idea of Melissa wandering around the unfamiliar territory actually had him worried. As everyone piled out of the car, they stood a moment in the Forman's carport as if they were remembering a fallen comrade. Steven was to himself like usual.

"I'm going to go search some places we haven't checked," Donna concluded. "Eric, I think you should go over to my dad's and give him the skinny on this whole situation." Eric nodded and proceeded to walk next door to Bob's. Everyone else seemed to follow him, but Hyde. He followed in Donna's direction.

"Where are you going?" she asked, noticing him following her.

"A walk," he answered.

Steven's walk ended up being about two miles in the opposite direction toward The Hub—the one place he knew Donna would never think to look. He walked into the fast food restaurant with his hands buried within the pockets of his jacket. He spotted her the moment he entered; she was sitting at the center table, her head in her hands, snorting, and sobbing. He walked to the counter and placed an order. Steven cautiously approached her.

"I knew you'd be here," he said, taking an unwanted seat beside her.

"Come searchin' for me, have you?" she mumbled.

"No, actually I came to get a burger. Donna's the one looking for you," he replied.

"Steven, I get the picture, okay? You don't have to rub it in my face." She turned away to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"Look," he began, sighing uncomfortably, "I just want to say…I, um, yeah, and I feel really…yeah…and I just wanted to, um, so I can kind of relate to what you're going through."

She almost wanted to laugh hysterically as he attempted to offer an apology.

"I see," she responded, keeping a straight face.

He nodded. "Dad split on me years ago. Mom's never around."

"Well," she sighed, sniffing, "my mom runs a Shaggin' Wagon, shall I say, so my dad's an alcoholic because my mom runs a Shaggin' Wagon. That's why I'm here in Point Place." She laughed at the ridiculousness of her situation. "We make quite a pair don't we?"

"Whatever," he shrugged. "Just don't get to thinkin' we can be more than friends."

"We're friends?" she questioned, her eyes fluttered with excitement.

"Don't push it," he said sternly. "We're an acquaintance to each other…Now, one thing you got to do is tone it down with the stalking me crap."

"Deal," she smiled.

"And," he added, "don't go around blabbing to everyone…I have a callous reputation I got to protect here. I can't have people thinking I'm soft."

"Deal!" she shrilled happily, throwing her arms around his neck.

He grimaced uncomfortably. "Okay," he grumbled, "Okay…great… get off me…enough hugging…Quit now!" Melissa finally released him.

"Can I still call you Stevey?" she asked.

"No…" he answered quickly, then looked at her a moment. "Fine…but…"

"You have a callous reputation to protect," she intervened. "Deal!"

"And one more thing," he added.

"What's that?"

He wailed, "Give my back my shades you freakin' loon!"

She laughed and pulled them out of her pocket. He took them from her gratefully and then stood to go check on his order. As he walked away, he mumbled something, probably insulting her. Melissa simply smiled at him as he stood at the counter. Steven Hyde, her secret obsession, secret friendship, and companion. She felt she had found her soul mate and vowed to have him one way or the other.


	6. Chapter 5

Melissa could not begin to describe the exhilarating sensation of having a secret friendship with Steven. Having been grounded for disappearing several days ago, she could only go to one of three places, school, the library, and the Forman's; therefore, she opted to spend her monotonous weekends in Eric's basement with Steven. The two sat together on the sofa watching a disturbing documentary on the television. Melissa's head rested on his shoulder.

"That's disgusting," Steven furled up his nose in discontent.

"No way," she gasped. "Stevey, is it physically possible to do that?"

"Watchin' a cow crap would be more amusing," he shuttered, staring in shock. He jumped slightly as another disturbing image appeared. "Now that's…ah, man…gross…how can they….Dude...Man!"

"It's like a porno, but with clothes on," she gagged.

"Change the channel," he instructed.

"You change it," she resisted.

"I'm not going to."

"Well, you're the dude."

"Ha, the chick is supposed to wait on the dude."

"Says who?"

"The unwritten code, written by men…"

"The unwritten code, written by men," she laughed. "That is so bogie. It makes no sense."

"Just stating the facts, babe."

"I'm still not changing it," she smirked.

"Stubborn," he grinned. "Good to see I'm rubbin' off on you, kid."

She felt like snuggling even closer to him, but she knew better. They continued to watch the graphic program since neither of them was willing to change the channel. All would have been perfect had Laurie Forman, Eric's sister, not entered their humble environment. Steven heard her tromping down the basement stairs and quickly returned to his usual chair.

Laurie walked toward the dryer in search of fresh clothing. She was about to leave when she noticed Melissa sitting on the couch. "Another one? I swear, Mom and Dad need to quit letting the dorks in," she smirked with a look of annoyance.

"Well," Steven turned, a sarcastic smile on his face, "the day you stop sleeping with half the men in Point Place will be the day Melissa stops coming here."

Laurie stuck her nose in the air. "Grow up." She then marched up the stairs.

"Oh," he yelled, "great come back."

Melissa giggled. "Thanks."

"Whatever," he said, casually sitting beside her again; her head returning to his shoulder. They had just gotten comfortable when they heard footsteps at the basement door.

"Crap," he groaned, getting up again.

Donna, Fez, and Eric entered; following behind them was Michael.

"I'm telling you guys," he smiled sure of himself. "This is fool proof. Jackie's never gonna find out."

"Well there's proof you are a fool," Fez laughed.

Melissa raised a brow. "Jackie's not going to find out what exactly?"

"Kelso was making out with Pam Macy under the bleachers," Eric replied.

"What!" she shrilled.

Kelso chuckled. "Don't worry I do it all the time."

"And," Steven added, "You get caught all the time."

"I do not!"

"You do," he laughed.

Kelso shook his head. "Not this time."

"That's what you said last time," Donna said, "and the time before that."

"Kelso, quit bragging," Eric scorned. "Besides, the whole football team has made out with Pam Macy under the bleachers, so it's not like you have a prize-winning moment on your hands."

"So," Michael grinned stupidly, "she remembered _my_ name."

"Oh please," Fez laughed, "she called you Miguel."

"Whatever," he shrugged. "At least she got the M right."

"I can't believe I'm actually going to say this," Melissa began, "but you do realize that Jackie may actually get smart and not take you back again if she finds out."

He laughed, shaking his head. "Missy….Missy, you poor love-lacking, ugly, little thing, Jackie knows she's got a good thing and she's not stupid enough to walk away from it. I mean look at me. I'm gorgeous…What else could she want?"

"Oh, I don't know," Eric pretended to think, "maybe someone with at least half a brain."

Kelso looked confused. "Hey, wait…I don't have half a brain?"

"That's right," Melissa smiled. "You don't even have a whole brain."

Hyde chuckled.

"Whatever," he shrugged as he went over to the freezer and retrieved a Popsicle. He opened it, put it in his mouth, and sat down in a chair.

Melissa got up and stretched. "I'm starving. I think I'm going to The Hub," she said.

Hyde raised a brow. "I thought you said you were grounded?"

"So," she shrugged, "what uncle Bob doesn't know won't hurt him. Want to come?"

He grinned. "You buyin'?"

"Of course," she laughed.

He smiled, getting up from his chair. "Sweet, I'm in."

Steven and Melissa sat across the table from one another, splitting a basket of French fries. She was finishing the remains of her burger.

"So," she began, "are you going to tell Jackie about the Pam Macy thing?"

"And I would want to do that because?" he asked, seeming as though he could have cared less about her advice, but still welcomed the fact that she was opinionated.

"Oh, I don't know," she shrugged and responded with slight sarcasm. "It's a kind, caring, and responsible thing to do."

"Well, you see," he began adamantly, "that's for people who care…and here's the funny thing…I don't care."

"Well, you should," she scorned.

"You don't rat on your friends about that stuff and that's a fact," Steven insisted. "It says so in the unwritten code, written by men."

"Oh, don't start that phony unwritten code speech again," she groaned, rolling her eyes.

"Why do you care anyway? You don't even like Jackie." he inquired.

She thought a moment. "Yeah, that's true, but it's not like I want to watch that moron break her heart, either."

"Whelp," he sighed with a grin. "It's not cool to rat on your friends, but there's nothing wrong with dropping hints."

Melissa laughed.

Having returned to from The Hub, Melissa and Steven stood outside the basement door. They could hear Jackie screaming at Michael. The pair exchanged glances at one another and then solemnly went inside. She walked over to Donna, who stood beside Eric as the battle of the sexes raged on.

"What did we miss?" she asked.

"Well," Donna whispered in response, "Jackie found out about Pam…"

"For the last time," Michael cried, "I wasn't making out with Pam Macy!"

"Oh," Donna added, "and now Kelso's denying it."

"Don't lie," Jackie shunned, shaking her finger at him. "She told me you did…"

Michael looked at her as if she were some idiotic child. "Jackie, don't you think if I were cheating on you I would have told you?"

"Michael…" Jackie responded in a hushed tone as tears filled her eyes, "the least you could do is be honest with me. If you can't even do that, then I'm afraid we're going to have to break up."

"Fine," he groaned. "If it will make you feel better, I did make out with Pam, but it didn't mean a thing…I only wanted her to put out!"

"Michael!" she shrilled, quickly storming out of the basement.

"Damn it!" Kelso shunned himself and ran out the door after her.

Hyde turned to Melissa. "See, I didn't even have to drop hints."

Jackie Burkhart and Michael Kelso were officially no longer a couple, yet again. Wholesome, descent friends would not make bets on such a terrible predicament, but Steven shamelessly made his wager.

"I bet a month," he said confidently, stretching his arms. "It's been two days, so I bet they'll be back together in a month."

"Stevey," Melissa scorned, "it's not polite to make wagers out of your best friend's personal agony."

"I know," he grinned, "but its fun."

Melissa shrugged, looking down at her mathematics book. "Do you really think they'll get back together?"

He looked at her with a puzzled expression. "Of course I do, you idiot. Why do you think I'm making a bet?"

She stared at him, slightly irritated. "Fine, two weeks."

"That's all," he seemed confused as he sat up in his chair, "two weeks?"

"Well," she replied, putting down her book, ready to turn the unusual conversation into an intellectual one, "I look at it this way, eventually she's going to miss bossing someone around. That and the fact she will miss the….ya know?" She flicked her eye brows in insinuation.

"No," he grinned playfully. "I don't know, enlighten me?"

"Stevey," she frowned, folding her arms.

"Mellow out, man," he retaliated. "I was just playing. So, how much are you betting?"

"You can't be serious?" she questioned. "You actually want me to place money on this?"

"No," he smirked snidely. "I want to bet your math books, of course, money, so are you going to place an amount or not?"

"Fine," she answered, "twenty dollars, and you?"

He thought a moment and replied, "A quarter, a nickel, and a six pack of beer."

"Hey," she looked at him crossly, "I thought you said just money."

"I said for _you_ to bet money," he corrected. "I never said I would."

Melissa gave a slight huff, turning her nose up in the air as she adjusted her glasses. Steven laughed, getting up from his chair. He walked over to the freezer to get a Popsicle. Jackie came barreling through the doorway. Michael was lagging close behind, still begging for her forgiveness.

"C'mon Jackie," he pleaded.

"No, Michael," Jackie furiously shook her head. "I think we've said enough."

"Well," Steven mumbled, tossing Melissa the extra Popsicle, "if it isn't the unhappy couple." He stood to watch the events take place.

"I love you, Michael," Jackie continued, "but as hard as it is for me to say this. We're over! I don't want to be with you anymore…I just keep getting hurt."

"Jackie," Michael pleaded persistently.

"Read my lips," she choked. "We're O-V-E-R!"

He looked at her a moment; he was visibly hurt but unconvincingly attempted to hide it, "Fine," he cried. "Have it your way!"

"Fine!" she retorted.

"Fine!" he retaliated.

"Fine!" she responded again.

Michael glared at her disgruntled, his arms flailing about uncontrollably as he yelled, "Fine!" He stormed toward the door, nearly tripping over himself in the process. After the slam of the door, Melissa stood stiffly from the couch.

"I did the right thing, right?" Jackie questioned unsteadily as she glanced at her and then to Steven. They both slowly nodded in response. Tears quickly filled Jackie's eyes and it almost seemed like Michael had taken the rest of her heart with him when he left.

"Oh, Steven!" she cried after a moment, racing into his arms.

"Ah, crap," he groaned, "of all people, she comes to me."

Once again, Steven had found himself in a situation he didn't want to be in. He was left to fill the void of Kelso. At first, just like he had with Melissa, Steven rationally dealt with Jackie's sudden display of affections for him. He understood that Jackie was using him in an effort to annoy Michael, and he wasn't the least bothered by that. After all, it was pretty hilarious to see his friend squirm.

Steven, Eric, Michael, and Fez gathered into the circle as usual and found themselves unbelievably intoxicated as the smoke circled them.

"Hyde, you'd better not be nailing Jackie," Kelso warned. "I nailed her first!"

"Dude," Hyde groaned, "me nailing Jackie would mean that cats can also fall from the sky." He shuttered. "Like, that's just never gonna happen, man."

"Cats do fall from the sky," Michael stated matter-of-factly. "One fell on me once."

"Kelso," Fez sighed, "that cat fell out of a tree, not the sky."

"Oh, yeah," he laughed.

"Hyde, man," Eric said, "I think you sold your soul to the devil."

"I'd do it with Jackie," Fez grinned.

Kelso was angered by his comment and punched him in the arm.

Eric laughed. "You'd do it with a tree branch, Fez."

"Mellow out, man," Hyde said to Kelso. "I don't even like Jackie, so I'm the one paying for your mistake. You suck at keeping women like the government sucks at keeping their plans for world domination under cover."

Jackie sat primly next to Melissa with her legs crossed, bouncing them nervously in anticipation. Melissa cautiously glared at her even though she was pretending to have little interest. Her dislike for Jackie continued to fester beneath the surface. She did not have any real purpose, other than brothering Kelso, to be in the basement. More importantly, she had no business being with Steven as she had been since terminating her relationship with Michael.

Kelso walked calmly through the basement door. Immediately, Jackie straightened herself and smiled. He cast a look in his former girlfriend's direction.

"Jackie," he vaguely acknowledged her.

"Michael," she briefly looked in his direction before turning to Hyde. "Steven, would you like to come shopping with me? I think it would be fun."

Steven glanced up from his magazine and stared at her a moment. "Let me think," he sarcastically responded, returning his attention to the magazine. "Let's not, and say we did."

"Oh, come on," she pleaded. "I'll even buy you new shoes."

He raised a brow in interest, "Sure, what the hell." Jackie jumped with excitement. He stood up.

"No hugging," he said sternly. "Get your crap. Let's go."

Michael stood up to make a remark as the pair went out the door.

Melissa looked up, shaking her head, "Kelso," she said. "If you have a thought, do yourself a favor and let it go."

He gave a huff and sat next to her on the couch.

"I think you're going to look great in that new jacket," Jackie beamed, looking at him.

"You aren't going to kiss me this time are you?" A very paranoid Steven asked as he pressed against the driver's side door.

She laughed nervously. "No."

"Good," he sighed. "I don't want a repeat of the last incident."

"Do you think Kelso and I will get back together?" she asked.

"Of course you will," Hyde responded. "You always do."

"Is that what you always think? We'll just kiss and make up?" she questioned coldly.

"Yeah," he replied. "After you thought you were pregnant you two broke up and got back together, then all his other strings of affairs and you ended up getting back together…"

"Oh my God," she cried, "you're so right."

"I'm always right," he corrected confidently.

She shook her head. "Not this time…we're not…no chance."

Steven sat in silence as he looked at her sympathetically.

"Hey, guys," Melissa said with her hands clasped behind her as she confidently strode up to the six other teenagers that had gathered into the Forman's carport to play basketball.

"Hey, Stevey," she smiled, making sure to put extra emphasis on his nickname.

"Ah, crap," he groaned, "not this again." Since Jackie had started becoming more attached to him, Melissa had begun to morph back into her usual annoying self. He sensed a bitter rivalry was about to commence.

Eric's scrawny arms wrapped around Melissa's large-sized waist, "I got her Hyde," he shrieked in panic. "Run, man! Run while you still can!"

"Let me go, toothpick boy," she cried. "I'm not going to do anything."

He looked untrustingly at Steven as he gave him the nod to let her loose. Melissa glared at Eric as she adjusted her glasses.

"I just came to give Steven something," she explained.

"Whatever it is," Kelso intervened, "don't take it…Last time a girl said she had something for me, and then she left me butt-naked down by the lake."

"We were skinny-dipping, you moron," Jackie bitterly retorted. "You weren't supposed to wear any clothes."

"Anyway," Melissa continued, facing Steven, "I just wanted to give you this." She proudly smiled as she revealed the Led Zeppelin t-shirt she had hidden behind her.

Hyde guardedly took the black shirt from her hands. He examined it a moment. It was a very rare t-shirt from an earlier year and seemed to be obtained from a concert. In fact, he had been eyeing that particular shirt ever since he saw it hanging in the glass window of the local pawn shop; he couldn't afford it.

Unable to read his expression, she asked, "Do you like it?"

"Dude," he exclaimed, "this is way cool!"

"It's autographed by the band, too," she beamed.

Hyde resembled a child in a candy store as he examined each signature.

"I'm glad you like it," she smiled. "I had to pawn the majority of my stamp collection in order to buy it."

He frowned.

"I can't accept this, man," he said, reluctantly handing the item back to her.

"No," she insisted. "You've been looking at that shirt for a month…I want you to have it."

He slightly grinned as he placed the folded shirt in his back pocket.

"You wanna go get something to eat?" Jackie eagerly asked him after a moment. "I'll buy."

"Cool," he nodded. "Whatever."

"Can I come with?" Melissa asked seemingly competitive.

Hyde glanced at Jackie for an answer, and the brunette shook her head.

"No," he responded. "Not this time."

Melissa gave an unsatisfied huff. Her eyes narrowed on Jackie as she and Steven stepped inside the Vista Cruiser. She envisioned herself as a Viking at war to protect the man that was rightfully hers. She maliciously laughed as the malodorous peasant, Jackie Burkhart, begged before her iron clad feet.

"Please," Jackie cried, "take pity on my wretched life, for I am only a poor servant."

"Silence ye ungrateful rouge," Melissa growled in a German accent. "I demand ye return Steven to me….He is mine!"

"Anything you ask, sir…Madame…whatever you are." Jackie smiled gratefully, bowing at Melissa's feet.

Her day-dream vanished before her at the sound of Donna calling her name.

"Melissa," Donna's voice echoed in her ear. "Melissa, are you okay?"

Eric's eyes were wide with fright at the sound of Melissa's audible growls. "Quick," he hissed. "She's going to start foaming at the mouth."

"Missy," Donna scolded, "I thought you were over the Steven obsession?"

"I guess I'm not, okay?" she snapped. She began to nervously pace as she added, "I just hate the feeling that I'm going to get replaced."

"Replaced?" Eric laughed. "That's like saying Hyde would actually have a heart somewhere in that thing normal people would call a soul."

She squealed in irritation, casting her glance into Michael's direction. He stood in the driveway staring aimlessly up at the sky. His face wrinkled as if he were trying to obtain some kind of rational thought.

"You," she growled, pointing at him.

He jumped at the sound of her voice.

"Whatever it is," he shrilled, "I didn't do it!"

"Basement," she demanded, "Now!"

He grinned slyly in compliance as she ushered him into the house.

"Sit," Melissa instructed, pointing to the couch.

"I knew it," he mused arrogantly. "I knew you couldn't resist me…I'm just too pretty." He was ready to begin removing his clothing. "You're really not my type, but since you're so desperate and must have me…" He began fumbling with his belt buckle.

Melissa snarled in disgust. "Keep your pants on, Kelso," she said. "I'm desperate maybe, but not _that_ desperate. See. That's why Jackie left you. All you ever think about is sex and you don't care how you get it." She took a seat next to him.

"That's not true," he defensively responded. "This morning I thought about food…and _then_ I thought about doing it."

She shook her head. "Girls don't think about 'doing it' all the time," she explained. "We want more out of a relationship. Take Jackie, she wanted more out of the relationship, but you barely acknowledged that. You may think we're difficult creatures to understand, but women are just like a mathematical equation…"

He laughed. "Like me plus Jackie, subtract our clothes, equals us doing it!"

She slapped him on the back of his head. "Focus," she shunned, pausing a moment. "Women are like mathematical equations," she continued, "because they may seem complicated, but almost always have a simple solution."

"So, you're saying all women put out?" he grinned, "Alright!"

"Kelso," she scowled, "do you want Jackie back?"

He thought a moment and replied, "Well, I do miss being on a short leash."

"Good," she sighed, "what I'm saying is that you need to look at the problem in your relationship, understand that what you did was wrong, and repeatedly apologize for it. All a girl wants is a little trust."

"If I apologize to Jackie, she'll forgive me?" Kelso questioned.

"No," she replied, "but it's a start. Then you need to tell her the things she wants to hear, and then you keep on telling her those things until you've annoyed her enough into take your sorry self back."

"What things do I tell her?"

Melissa thought a moment before replying, "Things like how beautiful you and Jackie are, how you love the way she controls you, and most importantly how you will never have a meaningless fling again."

He laughed. "How can I tell her all that? I wouldn't mean half of it, except for the part about how beautiful we are."

"Lie, you idiot," she growled bluntly. "All you have to do is lie. That's how narrow-minded we women are…we'll believe anything we're told."

"Really?" he looked confused like usual. "It's that simple?"

"That simple," she nodded with a benevolent smile.

"Missy, can I ask you question?" Fez began. Once again, Eric had inadvertently left the two of them stranded at the school building, and they were forced to walk to the Forman's house.

Melissa groaned, rolling her eyes. "No Fez," she replied. "You can't borrow my lotion again…Last time you used the entire contents of it. What's the purpose for a man to use that much hand cream?"

"It's not my fault," he muttered. "I have needs…but that wasn't my question."

"Okay," she looked confused. "What is it then?"

With great curiosity, he asked, "Are you trying to get Kelso back with Jackie in order to have Hyde for yourself?"

"Of course not," she laughed nervously, "what gave you that idea?"

"You've been treating him like he has a thought of his own," he replied, "and we both know the insects in my home country have more intellect than Kelso."

"That's true," she concurred, "but I'm just trying to help."

"It is best that Jackie and Kelso are apart," he insisted. "He's been sleeping with Laurie for a while…the lucky son-of-a-bitch."

"He's been what!" she shrilled.

"Yes," he nodded. "That is why it is best this way."

Fez and Melissa arrived at Eric's house just in time to experience Kelso's off-pitch, supposedly heartfelt song he had written to win Jackie back. He stood like an imbecile as he strummed on his acoustic guitar. "Oh, Jackie," he sang. "Please, don't hate me…because I _accidentally_ cheated on you again with Pam Macy…I love you more than shampoo…I'm nothing without you…Jackie…"

"I said tell her his feelings," Melissa hissed, frowning, "not sing her a lullaby."

Jackie stood, tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for the pathetic song to come to an end. Everyone else stared in amusement. Kelso smiled confidently. He was absolutely positive he had successful recaptured the heart of his first love.

"Michael," she groaned. "That was beyond lame."

He frowned as his friends muffled their laughter.

"But, Jackie I worked really hard on this song. I wanted to tell you how special you are to me," he protested, stomping his foot in aggravation.

Jackie looked doubtful. "I'm sure you've said that to Laurie, too…I'm I right?"

He gasped and looked applaud at her for even mentioning something so disrespectful.

"Jackie!" he shrieked.

"I'm not stupid," she laughed callously. "I have beauty and brains, unlike one person I might mention. She flipped her hair behind her shoulder and added, "If you've been seeing Pam, I know you've been seeing Laurie, too."

With his mouth agape, he shrieked again, "Jackie."

She turned and stalked up the basement stairs.

Michael still stood astonished. He was muttering something under his breath. Melissa approached, placing a hand on his shoulder. He stumbled backward as her Geometry book violently smashed into his face.

"Oww," he cried, grabbing his face, "my eye."

"A cheap song," she scorned, "you tried to woo her with a stupid song, which probably took you five seconds to compose anyway. There should be an award for this kind of stupidity." She gave a huff and sat down on the sofa. "You should march you're moronic self straight up those stairs and explain your actions young man," she instructed.

Everyone gazed at her in surprise as Kelso bound, half-blinded and reckless up the basement stairs.

"Uh, Missy," Eric offered, "this might be a lost cause for you—playing matchmaker, I mean."

"Hush," she grumbled. "I don't need advice on fixing relationships from a guy who broke up with my cousin over a stupid promise ring."

"What's gotten into you?" Steven questioned.

"Nothing," she replied.   
Melissa glared at the television as she pondered her next attempt. She was going to make certain that Steven didn't end up with the one girl that wasn't right for him. This would no longer be about trying to win his affections; it was going to be about protecting him from unappreciative individuals like Jackie Burkhart.


	7. Chapter 6

Steven sat in the basement with Leo, his boss and owner of the Fotohut. He was the local hippie and an infamous "burn out." Despite his usual state of intoxication and absent-mindedness, Leo remained a constant father figure to Hyde.

Steven was vexed as he leaned back in his chair. "Leo, man, Missy's stalking me again," he informed the older man.

"Really, no way, man! I have a stalker, too," Leo exclaimed with his usual slurred speech.

Hyde raised a brow in disbelief and asked, "Really?"

"Yeah," Leo replied. "Every time I look in mirror, man, there's this greasy, long-haired, old guy staring back at me…He kinda looks like me, man." Leo shuttered. "I think he might be my evil twin," he added.

Steven sighed, shaking his head. "Leo, man, that's just your reflection."

"Really, no way!" he laughed incoherently. "That's what mirrors are really for!" Leo paused for quite some time as if he were actually trying to retain any thought he may have had. "Like whoa, man," he said in confusion. "What were we talking about?"

"Melissa stalking me," Hyde replied.

"Oh yeah," Leo laughed. Another long pause followed and then he added, "I had a stalker once…"

"It's your reflection," Steven repeated, standing to his feet in irritation. He started to pace the room. "I'm running out of excuses for avoidance, man," he informed after a moment.

"Just give her another hobby," Leo offered. "Hey, I know, hire her at the Fotohut."

Hyde stopped pacing and stared at him. "I can't do that, man."

"Why can't you?"

"You kind of own the Fotohut," he explained as if Leo were a child without any comprehension of the real world. "That means," he added. "You're the boss."

"No way, man," Leo exclaimed. "All this time I could have been paying myself…Man, but I'm a lousy worker. If I were me, I would have fired me a long time ago."

"Focus on my problem," Steven pleaded.

"Sure, man. What's your problem?"

Steven hung his head and sat back down. Once again, Leo had missed the point entirely, and he realized that any other attempt to have a conversation would be pointless. He propped his feet on the coffee table and turned to face the television.

Melissa burst through the door.

"Hey," Leo pointed with curiosity. "Isn't that the chick stalkin' you, man?"

"Now he gets it," Steven mumbled to himself.

"I beg your pardon," she gasped, her eyes wide.

Leo nodded to himself with reassurance. "Yup," he laughed. "Hey dude, it is that crazy chick you told me about last month."

Hyde raised a brow. "I just told you about her," he said.

"No way," Leo laughed again. "I must be physic, man."

"Steven, who on earth is this charming old cretin?" Melissa asked.

"Leo," Hyde reluctantly introduced him. "This is Missy."

The hippie grinned and extended his hand, "Nice to meet you, creepy little dudette."

Melissa smiled uneasily. "Nice to meet you, too," she responded. She cast a look at Steven as if he were going to further explain why the old man was sitting on the couch—in her usual spot no less. When he offered no explanation, she only shrugged and proceeded to root the unwanted individual off the couch.

"What are we doing today, Steven?" she asked, smiling brightly at him.

"We," he gestured to himself and then her, "we aren't going to do anything…Listen, Four-Eyes, I thought we went over this stalking thing…It's already bad enough I'm having to deal with Jackie."

"Ha ha," she laughed, shaking her index finger at him. "I knew something was going on between the two of you. You wouldn't admit it, but I knew—I knew."

"What? There's no me and Jackie," he denied. "I don't even like her."

Melissa shook her head. "You just said you have to worry about her," she replied. "Thus, you just implied that you have some kind of emotion towards her."

"Yeah, a repulsed emotion," he growled. "She's loud, conceited, bossy, and dare I say it, she's more annoying than you are." He stood angrily to his feet. "I don't even know why I'm having this conversation with you," he said as he gestured for Leo to join him. "C'mon, Leo, let's go."

"Where are you going?" she asked, following them to the basement door.

"We got to meet a guy…at a place, and you can't come," Steven informed.

"Why can't I come? I always come with you. You're acting like I'm some kind of fruitcake," she said with a huff of disappointment.

"I love fruitcake, man," Leo grinned. "I think she can come if she brings fruitcake."

Hyde looked at him, shook his head, and stalked out the door.

"But she's got fruitcake, man," Leo begged as he followed him.

She sighed as the door slammed in her face.

"Stevey actually thinks I'm stalking him," Melissa laughed as she and her cousin sat on her mattress in Donna's room. "Isn't that the most absurd thing you've ever heard of?"

"Missy, you've followed him to the bathroom…What do you expect him to think?" Donna replied.

"Oh, I can't help it," Melissa groaned. She began to make overly exaggerated gestures as she drifted into a daydream. She added with a growl of desire, "Every time I see him…I want to…to throw him down on big pile of Physics books and just kiss the crap out of him." She blinked as she found herself back in reality.

"Oh, my God," Donna gasped. "Stop it before I throw up."

"Steven is a beautiful, jagged, human being. He's just crying out for love and affection."

"Hyde has no feelings for anyone," Donna laughed. "At times he may seem almost human, but then he'll throw some kind of conspiracy theory on you." She paced a comforting hand on Melissa's leg. "Missy, just face it. You're not his type," she bluntly stated.

"Well, what is his type?"

"His type of girl is the kind that will use him and spend more time in jail than at home."

"Well, I can change…I can be whatever he wants me to be."

"Missy, you could never be his type. You haven't done one single thing illegal or ruthless to anyone."

"I have too," Melissa responded in defiance.

"Yeah," Donna laughed again. "You're always apologizing to people even when you shouldn't. You won't even take candy from Fez's secret stash unless you ask him first."

Melissa huffed and crossed her arms.

"Just let it go," Donna reiterated. "Find someone who will appreciate you."

"But I don't want to be appreciated," Melissa cried. "I want to feel unappreciated and emotionally isolated by the man I love…I just want to be with him that's all."

Donna sighed. "Hyde has nothing nor does he want to offer you anything. You deserve better, and in time someone better will come along."

"Ah, crap," Red and Steven groaned as they witnessed Melissa skipping across the lawn to the house.

"Here we go," Steven muttered to Peter, who sat at the kitchen table.

"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Forman," Melissa cheerfully announced as she pranced through the sliding door.

"Missy, don't you have some other home to demolish and up root?" Red questioned in annoyance.

"Red," Kitty scorned. "Be nice."

"I can't help it," he explained. "It's like we have a sign on our front door that says 'All Dumbasses Welcome'. We're like a bed and breakfast for orphans."

"You're funny, Mr. Forman," Melissa giggled. She turned to Steven. "Hi, Stevey," she grinned and then took notice of the handsome young stranger sitting at the table with him. She knew of the boy. He was on the football team, and she couldn't imagine why he would be hanging around Steven.

"I didn't realize you had company," she cast a shy glance to the floor.

"This is Peter Little," Kitty introduced. "He came over so he and Steven could work on their Geometry homework."

"You can't be serious?" Melissa laughed hysterically, taking a seat next to Steven. "Stevey doesn't do homework. I'm amazed he would even know how. In fact, I don't even think he understands the difference between the circumference of pie and the formula for the degree of a triangle."

"You're telling me," Peter muttered in frustration.

"What can I say? Just like school, homework's not my thing. I belong in the category where I disgrace the very society I live in," Hyde agreed boastfully. He turned to Peter and added, "You should really let Four Eyes here, help you. She actually cares about this stuff."

"Oh, I don't know," she giggled with dismissive gesture.

"C'mon," Steven coaxed. "Just take a look at it. You know you want to."

"Oh, fine," she sighed. "I'll just take a peek."

Peter slid his Geometry book over to her. She glanced over the page momentarily and gave a gasp of delight, and Steven couldn't help but smirk. "Acute triangles," she cheered exuberantly. "I love acute triangles."

Peter smiled. "Why?" he asked. "Is it because they're _a cute _just like you?"

Melissa snorted, blushing. "Stop it," she giggled.

"That's so a cute," Hyde quipped sarcastically. "I'm gonna hurl." He groaned, stood, and headed for the basement.

"Oh," Kitty chimed with delight. "Let's leave these two alone so they can get some work done." She ushered Red from the kitchen.   
Steven sighed gratefully as he turned on the television, sat in his chair, opened one of Red's beers he had snuck from the refrigerator, and propped his feet on the coffee table. Melissa was out of his hair for the time being. He was relieved that he could pawn her off on that poor dote, Peter. She would be drilling him on Geometry for at least two hours. As unusual as it seemed, a connection had formed between Melissa and Peter, and Steven had a feeling that his newfound friend would be sticking around a while. In fact, Steven was going to see to it that he did.


	8. Chapter 7

"So, is this what you guys do every Saturday?" Peter asked. He sat on the couch between Eric and Donna. He was obviously bored as he put his head in his hands.

"Well," Steven began, briefly looking up from his magazine, "we could go to The Hub and be bored there, the Fotohut and be briefly entertained before being sucked back into a depressing state of boredom. Come to think of it, any place you think of boredom will follow…This is Point Place, man, not Vegas."

"Let's go play with a fat kid," Michael offered in excitement. "Pickin' on a fat kid would be totally awesome!"

"Kelso," Donna scorned, "that's like so second grade."

"Besides," Fez added, "the last time you messed with a fat kid, she kicked you're ass." He stopped upon realizing that he had just "burned" Michael. "Good one, Fez," he chuckled to himself.

"She did not," he protested. "I accidentally tripped over a rock, and her fist broke my fall."

"That's right, Kelso, just keep telling yourself that," Hyde chuckled, returning his attention back to his magazine.

"There's one thing we could do," Eric grinned.

Steven raised a brow in interest. "I like the way you think, Forman," he smiled. Everyone prepared to get into the circle until a familiar squeal was heard.

"Which one is it?" Eric groaned.

"Oh, my god, Steven," Melissa exclaimed as she burst through the door, waving the cinema listing in her hand. "All week long they're having a marathon of historical documentaries."

"That would be Stalker Number One," Steven replied, sighing as he sat back down in his chair.

"Steven, you've got to take me…I'll just die if I don't go," she pleaded.

"And I'll die if I do," he responded without looking at her.

"Well, what would you rather see?"

"I'll see a movie that has absolutely no class, trashy women, and booze."

"Like a porno," Fez grinned.

"Exactly," Hyde smiled. "If there's no boobs, there's no buyin'."

"You're disgusting," Melissa sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Just part of my charm," he shrugged, looking at her with a crooked smirk.

"What about you guys?" she asked, turning to Eric and Donna.

"That's tempting," Eric pretended to take her offer into consideration, "but then again it's not so…I guess you're on your own."

"No way," she whined. "Someone's got to take me. I can't drive by myself."

"Don't look at me," Kelso backed away, throwing up his hands. "I mean, I know I'm drop-dead-gorgeous. It's obvious that you want my hunk-a-licious body, and who knows what would happen to me if those documentary things turned you on."

"Well, who's gong to take me then?" she cried.

"Look, Missy," Hyde began as he grabbed his magazine, "if its history you want maybe you should just talk to Red. He fought in two wars. He can tell you all about the time he stuck his foot in some Commie's ass." Feigning excitement, he added, "Doesn't that sound fascinating?"

"I'll go," Peter offered.

Melissa raised a brow at him. "Really, you don't mind?"

He shrugged. "I have nothing to do tonight…It can't get any worse."

"That's what I thought, too," Steven mumbled.

Melissa looked at Peter with stars in her eyes. If Steven actually cared, he may have given a slight smirk in recognition of her happiness, but Melissa's happiness wasn't any concern of his. He would never admit to enjoying her annoying, yet irresistibly-cute smile.

"Oh, you poor, brave soul," Eric choked, putting a hand on Peter's shoulder, "enduring four hours worth of non-riveting documentary footage with Missy."

"Well," Peter sighed, "I look at it this way. It's better to watch something educational with her as opposed to sitting in a dark theater with you, watching Star Wars for the millionth time. You clutching my arm and screaming, 'Use the Force,' like a little girl every time Darth Vader has Luke Skywalker in a bind."

"Burn," Kelso laughed loudly.

"The history of a Jedi can be classified as historical. Everyone knows that…" Eric retorted defensively. "How many times can a man say that he's become a Jedi?"

Melissa rolled her eyes, still smiling. "Anyway, the show starts at six…so pick me up at five-thirty."

He nodded. She gave a slight squeak of excitement and briefly wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thanks so much."

"No problem," he chuckled. "I'll see you at five-thirty."

Melissa sat in between Fez and Donna on the basement couch; she was attempting to read her book, but she couldn't restrain the grin that danced across her lips. Every few minutes she found herself sighing at the thought of Peter.

"I think someone has a boyfriend." Donna teased.

"I do not, Donna," Fez exclaimed distraught.

"Not you," she laughed. "I was talking about Missy."

Melissa looked up from her book. "Huh?"

"I think Peter likes you," Donna smiled.

"Okay, I don't get it," Kelso intervened, flailing his Popsicle as he spoke. "He'll date the beach ball, here," he paused, gesturing to Melissa, "but he turns down Pam Macy. I mean come on. It's freakin' Pam Macy!"

"Because, Kelso," Eric explained, "Pam's been everywhere…I heard she slept with that nerd from Biology for twenty dollars."

"Hey, I have twenty dollars," Fez frowned, "and she refuses to even kiss me."

"I think that has something to do with Principle Richards catching you making out with a mop in the janitor's closet," Melissa said, sympathetically patting him on the shoulder.

"Oh, right," Fez chuckled, hanging his head in embarrassment.

"Do you really think he likes me?" she beamed, turning back to her cousin.

"He wouldn't have spent all week at the movies if he didn't."

"Oh, Donna…I hope he likes me. He's so sweet, funny, and charming, and…"

Steven could only be aloof from the conversation for so long.

"I wouldn't look too much into it if I were you," he said, finally looking away from the television.

"Why do you have to be so negative about everything?" Melissa interrogated crossly. "Can't a guy find me attractive?"

"I'm with Hyde on this one," Kelso intervened. "If I don't find you hot, I can't see why Peter does. I think he's had one too many footballs to the head."

"Shut up, Kelso," Steven groaned.

"Answer the question, Hyde," Melissa persisted.

He knew when she referred to him by his last name that she was getting upset, and he better further explain himself or admit defeat. He groaned again, wishing he had kept his mouth shut.

"I'm just sayin' you shouldn't get too attached to him. You have a tendency to do that, man."

"If he didn't like me then he wouldn't be taking me to The Hub this afternoon, now would he?" she sneered.

"Whatever, man," he shrugged, turning back to the television.

"I think someone's feeling replaced," Eric snickered.

"Not even," Steven mumbled.

"Donna, would you like to help me pick out something to wear for my first official date," Melissa asked excitedly.

"Okay, cool," Donna nodded, following her cousin out the basement door.

"I don't like where this is going," Eric said in dismay as he and his friends circled around the coffee table and engulfed themselves in smoke. "You surrendered half of the stash over Melissa—On behalf of the entire circle, what the hell, Hyde?"

"I agree," Fez nodded. "This is low, even for you."

"Hey, don't criticize me, man…mans," Steven responded defensively. "I had to. She was the fly in my ornament. I was just trying to save the two, three…no one brain cell I have left."

"I can't believe you're paying Peter to date Melissa," Kelso laughed. "That's like the burn of all burns, man. What if she ends up doing it with him, Hyde? Then that will be a massive burn on you…This is going to blow up in your face and it's going to be freakin' awesome!"

"In my country," Fez explained, "the mistreatment of women would result in every man in your family getting stoned in front of the whole village. My father was stoned plenty of times."


	9. Chapter 8

"I can't believe I'm here, man," Steven groaned, glancing around the roller-rink. The last place on earth he wanted was a Roller-Disco. On a Friday night, the Roller-Disco in Kenosha, Wisconsin was caulked-full of happy-go-lucky couples on skates, spinning around the rink as some cheesy disco music echoed throughout the place.

"I can only stay here with these ABBA lovin' nerds for so long. In an hour, my mind will become corrupted by this useless noise they call music."

"Oh c'mon, Hyde, you know you want to bust a move," Donna jested.

"Yeah, Hyde," Eric snickered. "Show us what you got, you golden ray of sunshine."

"Can it, Forman," Steven demanded, slugging him in the arm.

Kelso stood entranced by his surroundings with a child-like grin across his face as he watched everyone spinning around the rink.

"This place is bitchin', man!" he shrieked in amusement. He took a look at Hyde's furrowed brow of disapproval and quickly retracted his statement. "I mean this place is so not cool…Like, skates are stupid."

Melissa giggled uncomfortably as stumbled on her rented roller skates. "Get into the spirit guys," she said, unsteadily clutching Peter's hand. "This could be fun…"

She gave a nervous gesture in Fez's direction. He was out on the floor already, dancing to the beat of his own drum, or rather his perception of the music's funky beat.

"See, Fez has got the Disco Fever."

"Wow, a closet Disco queen. I'm so surprised," Hyde responded flatly. He simply found himself an isolated seat near the back of the rink and sat down to enjoy the free entertainment provided by his friends.

"You're going to let go," Melissa cried as Peter lead her around the rink.

He chuckled. "Quit spazzing out…I'm not going to let go."

"That's what parents always say when they teach you how to swim," she pointed out, "then they let you go and you go under, your lungs fill up with water, your body goes into shock, and you drowned…You better not let me drowned—I mean it."

He laughed again. "This isn't a swimming pool, Missy. This is just like walking, except with wheels, so just take baby steps."

"If my face hits the floor, you're helping pick the splinters out of my forehead."

Steven chuckled to himself. Maybe being in a Disco-loving environment wasn't that horrendous since he had the pleasure of watching Melissa make an idiot out of herself. A thousand "baby-steps" and a million stumbles later, she finally began to actually skate.

"Kelso," Peter said breathlessly, "hold her. I need a breather."

"You're not leaving me with him," Melissa shook her head adamantly.

"I'll be right back," he said, giving her to Kelso.

"But—But," Michael squawked. "What am I suppose to do with _it_?"

Seeing as Michael had the attention span of a wet mop, it was only natural that he forgot his responsibility the moment a platinum-blonde beauty in skin-tight shorts skated passed him.

Melissa's eyes widened in horror as Michael thoughtlessly shoved her aside.

"K-Kelso," she cried, scrambling for what footing she had left.

Now that the blonde had whisked Kelso away to his fairy-tale world where he pretended all women adored him, no good would come of trying to get his attention. Melissa flailed her arms in the air, squawking like a bird that had just gotten its feathers plucked.

Meanwhile, Steven was roaring with laughter as he struggled to stay upright in his seat. He immediately muted his laughs of amusement when he saw the sheer look of panic on Melissa's face. Kelso skated over to the area where his friends were sitting; he wasn't even aware of the catastrophic event he had just caused.

"Kelso, you moron," Steven pointed. "You let her go."

"Who?" he asked, giving his usual look of confusion, before becoming conscious of Melissa's cries for assistance. He spun around to see Melissa barreling down the center of the rink.

Each movement Michael made was long and exaggerated as he slowly inched his limps forward. He produced a rumble from his chest—apparently that was to represent heavy breathing.

With a deep baritone voice, he called, "I-I'm c-coming M-Miss-s-y-y!"

Donna folded her arms. "Kelso, what hell are you doing?"

"Damn it, Donna," he frowned. "You just ruined a perfect slow motion moment."

"Hurry, grab her," Eric scorned, "before it gets any worse."

Melissa continued to plow through the crowd as she frantically attempted to stop herself. She was seconds from smashing into the rink barrier.

"This is gonna leave a mark," she grumbled, throwing her arms over her face, hoping that would suffice to ease the pain that would follow the collision.

A pair of strong arms wrapped around her mid-section and veered her away from the wall before she ran into it. Melissa breathed a sigh of relief when she finally came to a halt. Assuming Michael was the one that had came to her aid, she spun around, her hand raised, and ready to beat him within an inch of his life.

Melissa's expression softened to one of surprise. "Peter."

He chuckled. "Who were you expecting?"

"I told you not to leave me with him," she wailed, smacking him across the chest. "Next time my life really is in danger, you'll listen."

He wrestled to obtain her arms as he held on to her firmly. "Hey, lady, I just saved you from a major embarrassment."

She continued to smack him. "You don't think barreling through a bunch of people wasn't an embarrassment, and it only took you fifteen minutes to finally come to my rescue. You better not let that happen again."

He smirked and jerked her unexpectedly closer to his body. "Who said I'd rescue you a second time?"

Melissa glared at him as she tried to catch her breath. Peter's eyes were fixated on her as he charmingly bit his lower lip. Without any warning, she quickly pounced on top of him. He awkwardly raised his arms as Melissa planted a sweltering kiss across his dry lips. He couldn't have thrown her off of him if he tried; he finally adjusted to the smoldering passion that circulated through their bodies. He wrapped his arms tightly around her again as the two of them inelegantly exchanged a series of passionate kisses.

Donna gasped in delight, nudging Eric. "Look, Eric."

Eric shuttered at the unappealing sight of Melissa and Peter. "That looks down right painful for him, doesn't it? He's going to get lost in a fat roll."

Steven rose from his seat. He looked over his sunglasses as if to make sure his shades weren't deceiving him. He sighed as he confirmed the truth—Melissa and Peter were standing together in a heated embrace. Now, he came to the realization that incidents like this one were what deterred him from attending Roller-Discos.

"Crap," he muttered to himself, "this can't be good."

Steven had the innate ability to deliver quick insults that—if one wasn't paying close attention—would be misconstrued as a friendly rivalry. He was in a particular misconstruing-insults kind of mood when the person responsible for his bitter disposition walked through the basement door. Peter climbed aboard the back of the sofa and proceeded to follow the other guys' daily routines of doing absolutely nothing.

Steven never took his gaze off the comic book that he held in his hand. "Well, if it isn't the bargain breaker."

Peter cast a sideways glance and then chuckled. "You're still sore about Friday night, huh? What did you want me to do? Throw her off me?"

Eric nodded. "Gee, you could have. That whole image was just wrong, man."

Kelso laughed. "It was like he was being swallowed whole by a Killer Whale…Yeah, because Melissa looks like a whale. Get it?" He laughed again at his clever conclusion.

Steven put down his book and glared at Peter. "Look, man, I asked you to take her off my hands, not get involved?"

Peter folded his arms. "Don't tell me you're startin' to like this girl?"

"Just stick to the deal, man," Steven growled.

"What deal?"

Peter and Hyde both turned to see Melissa standing in the doorway. She had her arms folded and her head cocked to the side in curiosity. Both boys scrambled for an explanation.

"Deal…Deal. They're playing poker," Kelso quickly blurted out.

Melissa looked at him doubtfully. "How can they be playing poker when they have no cards?"

Michael paused another moment. "You don't need cards to play poker," he replied, sounding annoyed by her scrutiny of his previous statement. "God, Melissa, you math geeks think you know it all. Don't you?"

Melissa furrowed her brow in confusion and shrugged in response to Kelso's obvious lack of intellect. She turned her attention back to her boyfriend.

"What deal were you two talking about?"

Peter only grinned and rose from the couch. "Nothing you need to worry your cute little head about," he replied, kissing Melissa's forehead.

"Okay," she grinned, reassured.

Peter's daunting ability to stimulate false emotions was what had attracted Hyde's attention to begin with. This handsome football quarterback should have been the star of every major drama production at school. His stomach-turning performance at that very moment was certainly worthy of an Oscar or two. He had Melissa in the palm of his manipulative hand.

Melissa plopped down on the couch just as Peter left. "Eric, have you seen Donna today?"

Eric scowled in disapproval. "She's with Casey Kelso."

"No!" she gasped, glaring wide-eyed at Michael.

Eric solemnly nodded. "I know it doesn't seem fair, does it?"

"I-It's not that," she stammered. "I-I just can't believe there are actually two of them."

"Don't worry," Steven reassured. "Casey got the smart end of the sick."

"Yeah," Kelso laughed. "I have a much better body, though."

"This is great," Melissa giggled after a moment. "Maybe we can go on a double- date tonight."

"Yippee," Steven muttered.

Eric paced across the basement floor, muttering to himself like a man gone mad.

"They should be home by now. Who stays out on a date passed seven-thirty?"

Steven sat with his arms folded across his chest while he watched his bothered friend repeatedly walk to the basement door and back to the sofa.

"Knock it off, Forman," he exclaimed. "You're startin' to make _me _nervous."

Eric stopped abruptly and turned to face him.

"What does this guy have that I don't?"

"Everything," was Jackie's immediate response as she looked up from her _Cosmo _magazine. "He's got great hair, a great car, and gorgeous body. If I wasn't the epitome of perfection, I'd say he's almost as beautiful as me."

"Yeah," Kelso agreed. "He is man-pretty if I do say so myself."

Fez pursed his lips in thought. "No, I don't think he is as man-pretty as you."

Eric's voice rose to a feminine squeal, and he began to pace again. "This is like when Princess Leia chose Han Solo over the noble Skywalker…Leia's gone to the dark side, man."

"If you use one more Star Wars reference for this situation, I'll frog you so hard that you're kid's kids will feel it," Hyde groaned. "You think you got problems. Right now, Melissa and Peter are sitting in the back of that Trans Am sucking face. That leads to her thinking that she has feelings for him, which leads to her blurting out the L word like it's a freakin' Frisbee. My little investment is about as good as your Mom's meatloaf by then."

Jackie immediately raised her head. An amused grin formed in the corners of her mouth. She crossed her arms and cocked her head in curiosity, "Investment? What kind of investment?"

Steven was quick to answer, realizing he had said a little too much. "Nothing. Mind your own business."

Michael chuckled, shrugging. "Oh, Hyde's just paying Peter to date Missy."

"I knew it," Jackie shrilled in delight. "I knew there was no way Peter would date her."

"Kelso, you moron," Steven growled, standing long enough to reach across the couch to punch Michael in the arm, "now she's going to go blabbing."

Kelso laughed. "No, she wouldn't."

Jackie nodded in agreement. "I won't. Well, I probably will, but I'll try not to. Then, of course, I'll more than likely tell Donna, because she's my best friend, and I tell her everything."

"Great," Steven groaned, slumping down in his seat.

"I can't believe Donna would even date a guy like him," Eric shrieked, talking more to himself than anyone in the room.

"I have an idea," Fez intervened.

"If it involves a bottle rocket and a hairless cat, I'm in," Kelso chimed.

Fez shook his head and continued, "They're at the drive-in movie, right? Why don't we just go and spy on them."

Eric stopped suddenly and grinned. " Fez, that's a great idea."

Jackie clapped her hands gaily. "Oh, the look on Melissa's face is going to be priceless. I almost feel sorry for you, Steven, almost."

Inside the parked Vista Cruiser, the five teenagers sat in complete silence. Both Eric and Steven cautiously glared at Casey Kelso's black Trans Am, which was parked a few car-lengths away. If Steven strained through the darkness, he could clearly identify the giant black mass in the backseat of the other vehicle. He gave an audible sigh of despair when his greatest fear was confirmed. Melissa and Peter were kissing in the back of a Kelso's car.

"Do you think they're kissing? God, I hope not." Eric hissed. "What if he's a better kisser?"

Steven rolled his eyes. "Gee, I don't know, why don't you go find out? Jesus Christ, Forman, you're the one that broke up with her…I could care less about what Donna and Casey are doing. What about what Missy and Peter are doing, man? Someone's gotta go break this up."

An awkward silence fell over them again. The guys had apparently lost what nerve that they may have had. Neither of them wanted to step up to the plate.

"Okay, one of you better decide something soon," Jackie order, squealing. "This is cutting into my Nancy Drew mysteries. Fez, get your hand off my leg, you foreign pervert!"

"Sorry, I thought that was my leg," Fez laughed, but made no attempt to move his hand from the silky-smooth leg of his friend.

"It's still there, you idiot!"

Fez groaned in aggravation, unwillingly removing his hand.

"You are too picky, lady."

Steven groaned and opened his door. He wasn't really surprised to find that Eric wouldn't follow. If he was going make an idiot out of himself, Hyde didn't want to do it alone.

"Forman, are you coming or not?"

"Uh, yeah, about that," Eric replied. "I think I'm going to vent my anger at a safe distance." He paused and gave a nervous laugh, "Look at me. Do you honestly think I could take Casey? He's, like, super huge, man."

Hyde sighed. "You're afraid that Donna's gonna kick your ass, huh?"

"No… Okay, yeah. I feel much better inside the car than kissing the pavement on the outside of it."

"Whatever," Steven groaned, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He inhaled a deep breath and trudged toward the Trans Am.

Hyde laid three hard-fisted knocks to the driver's side window. In a few moments, Casey rolled down the window.

"Stevey," Melissa wailed, pulling away from Peter.

"Hyde, what the hell?" Donna questioned angrily.

"Yeah, sorry," Steven shuffled uncomfortably. "I…uh…and…Casey, your parents called and said something about Kelso and fire."

Casey sighed. "I told him not to try launching bottle rockets inside the house."

Donna looked unconvinced. "Okay, did Eric put you up to this? If he did, I'll kick his scrawny ass."

Hyde shook his head. "No, but he is cowering inside the Vista Cruiser."

"Wait, he's here?" Donna shrilled.

"Yeah, whatever," Steven responded casually. "Look, Peter can we talk, man?"

"Stevey," Melissa scorned. "We're on a date."

"Yeah, yeah, and I'm Santa Claus. Peter, get out of the car."

Peter nodded. "Okay, man, like, chill."

Steven waited impatiently as his nemesis emerged from the vehicle. He walked several paces away from the car in silence. He heard the sound of Peter's shoes against the gravel beneath their feet.

"I can't believe you, man," Steven began, stopping abruptly and turning to face Peter. "I told you to keep it simple, and here you are all cozy with the chick."

Peter laughed. "I'm startin' to think that she's the one that should be paying me to take _you_ off her hands. You're freakin' obsessed with her."

"Say that again," Hyde roared. "And I'll freakin' kick you in the nads!"

Peter's obnoxious laugh echoed throughout the darkness. "I think someone's got a little crush going on."

Hyde gritted his teeth and reared his foot. "Okay, now you're so getting kicked in the stones, man."

"Steven Hyde, don't you dare!" Melissa yelled, coming up behind them. "I don't know what this is all about," she continued, shaking a scornful index finger at him, "but you are ruining this date for both me and Donna…Peter, get back in the car."

"I've got this, _dear_," Peter insisted.

"Back in the car," she barked without removing her intense gaze from Steven.

Peter opened his mouth to object, but quickly snapped it shut when he heard his date commence to growling under her breath; he immediately obliged.

"You should be ashamed of yourself, young man," Melissa continued to rant.

"Me?" he arched a brow. "You're the one sucking face with a guy you just met …You're not even watching the movie, man."

"Duh, _it's_ the movies," she laughed coldly. "I'm a lot of things, but not stupid. Everyone makes out at the movies…even Fez. Grant it, he kisses his hand, but still." She paused another moment and let out an unfamiliar cackle, a Jackie Burkhart kind of cackle. "I didn't know Peter was of such an importance to you."

"No, I care about…" he paused, nearly admitting to her that his only concern was his money. "Nothing, forget it…I just really hate this guy, okay?"

It was silent for a moment. Hyde squinted to make sure Melissa was still standing in front of him.

"I get it," she smiled. "You're actually worried about me, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not," he replied quickly.

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes, I know you have some kind of feeling towards me."

"One comes to mind… I want to deck you so bad, but I don't hit women... Well, Kelso's the only exception."

"Stevey," she laughed, stepping closer to him. "I'm a big girl, capable of making my own decisions. Peter's not forcing me into anything I don't want to do…Thanks for whatever it is you're trying to do or say, but I think I can take it from here." She patted his arm gently. "I'm going back to the movie now."

"You mean back to making out," he corrected, slightly kicking the gravel.

Steven heard Melissa's faint laugh as she walked back to Casey's vehicle. He sighed to himself. "Damn you, Hollywood and government-owned drive-in theatres."

The Pinciottis gathered around the breakfast table rather early one Saturday morning. Bob insisted that his daughter and his niece should spend the morning with him because he hardly saw them during the day. He sat cheerfully between the two girls as the three of them peacefully ate breakfast.

"Isn't this nice, girls?"

Donna furrowed a brow. "The toast is charcoal, there's egg shell in the eggs, and I think the sausage is still alive," she replied as she poked her fork into each item on her plate. "Other than that… it's great, Dad."

Melissa took a bite of her eggs. "Uncle Bob, can I ask you a personal question?"

Bob smiled. "Sure you can my little fruit fly."

"Can you tell me about sex?" she bluntly inquired.

Bob's eyes grew bigger than his afro, and Donna nearly choked on her orange juice.

Melissa's face grew pale upon seeing the look on her beloved uncle's plump face; she began scrambling for an explanation.

"It's not for me," she explained. "Uh…you see I have this friend and she's been dating this guy. I think…I mean, she thinks that she's ready for the next step."

"Well," Bob retorted angry and unhinged, "tell you're friend that this isn't a good breakfast conversation and if the...the…S word comes out of her mouth again then she's grounded for the rest of her life."

"Are you kidding?" Donna laughed. "This is, like, the best breakfast conversation ever."

"Enough, Donna," Bob instructed disdainfully. "Okay…I think it's time we had the 'talk', everyone into the living room, right now."

Donna sat on the couch with an amused expression as Bob walked to the front door and then back to the fire place. The squeak from the soles of his shoes matched as he stroked his chin. Melissa sat next to her cousin and waited intently for her not-so- lyrical uncle to shed some light her situation.

"I can't believe the guys are missing this," Donna hissed. "This is the first time my dad has been at a loss for words since he accidentally fed that squirrel in the backyard rat poison."

"Well," Bob began as he turned to Melissa and cleared his throat for the hundredth time. "Sex…I mean...the S word is a very serious…um…thing…It's for mature people…adults…really old adults…like Red and Kitty. It is something that may lead to making baby's…and other stuff like that. Now, how a baby is made is a whole other conversation that I think will be too graphic for you…"

Melissa stared at him skeptically. "You don't know much about this, do you Uncle Bob?"

Her uncle opened his mouth, but she was quick to intervene. "Let's just forget this was ever mentioned."

He sighed, grinning. "Good…I've already forgot it."

She stood, smiled, kissed him on the cheek, and pulled Donna to a standing position. "I think we'll go to Eric's now."

"Yeah, okay, just keep your clothes on, will ya'?"

Melissa turned a shade of red, but managed to give an oblivious expression. "Uncle Bob, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Wait," Donna sarcastically insisted as she was being shoved through the front door. "Don't you want to know how babies are made? How the stork drops you down the chimney of some really old, mature, adult couple's house and…"

"Oh, my God," Donna wailed as she burst through Eric's basement door. Melissa lagged close behind. "Oh my God, you'll never guess what Missy asked my dad at breakfast."

"Usually, before one talks about another behind his or her back, it's customary to wait until that person's not in the room," Melissa grumbled.

Donna paid no attention to her cousin and plopped down between Fez and Eric on the couch. "You'll never believe it...C'mon guess."

Eric shrugged. "Ummm…How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?"

Donna laughed and shook her head in response.

Steven looked up from the naked _Playboy_ beauty he had been naughtily eyeing all morning. He decided to try his hand at the guessing game. "How many times he's caught his 'fro on fire?"

Donna stopped and thought a moment. "I don't know," she replied. "I think it's fifty, but I've lost count after that."

Steven grinned, pointing at Michael.

"Ha, Kelso, you owe me fifty bucks. A dollar for every time Bob's caught his hair on fire."

"That's not fair," Kelso whined. "No one has ever caught themselves on fire more than I have. Hyde, you know that. I hold the record for fire starting….There's even a snap shot of me on the wall at the Point Place Police Department."

"Kelso," Fez pursed his lips and furrowed his brow. "I think that's a 'Wanted' poster."

"No," Donna laughed, unable to contain herself any longer. "She asked him to tell her about sex….Missy wanted to know about sex!"

"Oh, God," everyone exclaimed in unison.

"Ewww," Jackie shrieked. "She actually thinks _he_ knows about that stuff."

Melissa put her hands over her face in embarrassment.

"So, you're seriously thinking about sleeping with Peter?" Donna questioned as she turned to Melissa and clasped her arm.

"No, I was going to sleep with Fez," Melissa snapped, pulling away.

Fez's face lit up and he grinned. "Really?"

"Uh, like, no," she laughed.

He pursed his lips in aggravation. "Oh, I see, let's pick on Fez because he's foreign, Fez the poor, foreign, virgin. Well, I have feelings, damn it!"

" Fez, I didn't mean it like that."

"Good day," he wailed, holding up his hand to silence her

" Fez…"

Holding his nose in the air, he stood and retorted, "I said, 'good day'!" He turned swiftly and stomped up the stairs as if he were emphasizing his anger.

Melissa sighed, shrugged, and returned her attention to Donna.

"First of all," Eric began, sitting on the back of the couch. "You've only known this guy for about a month. Second, I don't think we really need that mental image of the two of you."

Jackie seemed to be the only person in the room not repulsed.

"Oh, my god," she gasped in amusement. "If you sleep with a football player, you're, like, going to be _so_ popular."

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Donna shunned. "Eric's right. You don't even know this guy."

"Yeah," Kelso nodded. "He's like eighteen, and you're like fifteen. He's like an adult."

"I'm sixteen," Melissa corrected as if that were a drastic change for the situation.

"Whatever, man," Steven leaned forward, trying to conceal his aggravation. "You're still too young to even consider sex."

"Jackie was one year younger than me when she lost her virginity," she pointed out in defiance.

"So," Steven paused, gesturing to Kelso, who had lost interest in the conversation and was attempting to put a portion of his brunette bangs into his mouth. "Look who she lost it to. Clearly, that wasn't the wisest choice. You should leave being stupid and irresponsible to the professionals."

Jackie was nodding in agreement.

"Hey, are you calling me stupid?" she questioned with a scowl.

"Well," Eric replied, "you did sleep with Kelso."

"Yeah, you're right. That was pretty stupid."

Melissa let out an exasperated sigh. "I can't see why you guys are all worked up over this. I just think Peter is the one, ya know? He's the plus to my minus, the addition to my subtraction, the jelly to my doughnut…"

Hyde gave her a quizzical look. "Jelly to your doughnut? What, did you run out of nauseating math terminology?"

"Nope, I was just on a roll….He's the butter to my bread."

Steven held up his hand to halt her. "Missy," he began, pausing a moment, "Sex is like a necessary evil, man. We really don't need it, but it's necessary for the procreation of mankind….I just don't think you're ready for that evil yet."

Eric cupped his hands over his mouth to produce an echo of his heavy breathing, imitating Darth Vader. "Missy," he bellowed. "Stay away from the dark side, Missy."

She stared at him, shaking her head at his idiotic behavior.

"How do you even know this guy is 'the one'?" Donna questioned. Suddenly, she was beginning to sound more like an over-bearing parent. "It's not good to rush into these things."

Steven nodded. "Yeah, finding the right partner is like trying to buy a car. The deal seems great at first, but then you get the car home and check under the hood."

"Yeah," Kelso concurred, attempting to sound macho. "A man is only as good as the size of his dealership."

Melissa's eyes shot in his direction and she giggled. "Well, your dealership must be awfully tiny. You haven't sold a car in months."

Eric chuckled. "Nice burn."

Michael gave his usual resentful shriek after being insulted. "Okay," he concluded, trying to maintain composer. "This conversation is, like, so boring, so by a show of hands, who thinks the Missy should not do it?"

Of course everyone, but Melissa, raised their hand into the air.

"Majority rules," Kelso grinned. "No doing it for you….Man, it must suck to be you!"

"Fine," she groaned, folding her arms. "If it will satisfy you guys, I will not 'do it' with Peter. I'll just wait."

Concealing his sense relief, Steven grabbed his magazine and leaned back in his chair. Melissa watched him attentively out of the corner of her eye. She could feel his discomfort, and to say that she wasn't a little pleased by it would have been a lie. She had found a way to break through to his emotions, but her desire to have his approval seemed less than important now that she had Peter. The book for Melissa's unhealthy obsession over Steven Hyde had finally been slammed shut.


	10. Chapter 9

"I've got it," Melissa announced as she burst cheerfully through the basement door.

"No offense," Kelso laughed, "but, how can you 'have it' when your only talent is wolfing down a million hamburgers. If anyone has anything, it's me."

She rolled her eyes and gave a dismissive gesture as she wedged herself between Eric and Donna. "You guys know about the Spring Fling dance that's going on next weekend, right?"

Donna nodded. "Yeah, it's Saturday."

"And we all know I'm destined to win Spring Fling Queen," Jackie gushed before turning to glare at Donna. "Donna, you had better be there to see them give me my gold tiara."

"Jackie, you do realize that tiara is plastic, right?"

"Yeah so, I'll still be queen, and all you'll have at the end of the night is your growing admiration of me. Don't ruin my dream just because you're jealous of my popularity."

"Okay, like I care that you're queen of a spleen or whatever it is," Melissa interrupted. "Anyway, Peter asked me to the dance during first period this morning!"

"Fascinating, and your point is?" Steven raised a brow.

"Don't you get it?" Melissa sang excitedly, bouncing slightly in anticipation.

"That you're a math lovin' loon, who needs a straight jacket," Eric quickly replied, which resulted in Donna slapping his arm.

"That it will be the most romantic night of my life," Melissa beamed.

Steven groaned. "Just talking about romance makes me want to barf."

"After the dance, I'm going to proclaim my love to Peter," Melissa sighed, drifting off to her fairytale, magical night with the man she loved.

"Whoa!" Eric exclaimed. "Wait, I thought…gross!"

"You promised," Donna wailed. "You promised you were going wait."

"Hey," Melissa protested, holding up her index finger. "I never promised anything. I don't make promises I can't keep."

"Ah," Jackie snarled. "You sound just sounded like me. I don't know if I should be flattered or mentally disturbed." She clasped her hands together, pleased. "My profound wisdom and beauty has led another poor hobo to find her voice. I've done my charity work for the day."

"Look guys," Melissa explained, "I've thought about this a lot. I really love Peter, and he really loves me. I think we're the perfect match."

"You two are, like, complete opposites," Eric squealed. "He's, like, popular and...ummm...you're like not. You can't get any more opposite than that."

Melissa shook her head stubbornly. "I appreciate your sudden concern for me, but like I said this is my decision, and nothing you could say or do is going to change my mind about this."

Donna sighed. "I really wish you would think about this more."

"I have," she smiled, "and I think I'm in love."

Donna threw her hands up, surrendering. "That's it. Hyde, you talk to her."

A clear look of disdain was seen behind Steven's dark sunglasses. "Me? Why can't Bob do it? Did he tell her the stork story yet?"

"She may actually listen to you," Donna persisted, ignoring his unwillingness to comply.

"Hello," Melissa interrupted. "I'm still in the room. Donna, I thought we discussed this?"

Steven huffed in aggravation, folded his arms across his chest, and remained silent a moment. He turned to Melissa, his lips pursed so tightly that his mouth was barely visible.

"Melissa," he began as sternly as possible, trying to convey absolute seriousness, "If you go through with this…I'm going to kick Peter in the nads. Then I'll dethrone Kelso, and force you to wear the Stupid Helmet." Steven mentally slapped himself for sounding so unrealistic.

Melissa stared at him, looking as though she were a deer in the headlights of an on-coming vehicle and then burst into laughter. "For a minute there, I thought you were really mad!"

"That's it?" Eric questioned, looking at Hyde baffled. "That's all you've got to say?"

"Whatever, man," Steven shrugged. "You wanted me to talk to her, so I did."

He stood, shoved his hands in his pockets, and walked toward the door.

"Where are you off to?" Melissa questioned, though she didn't sound like she had any interest in his response.

He stopped and slightly turned in her direction. "I need to unwind. I'm going to unwind."

Jackie grinned, standing to her feet. "Oh, can I come?"

"Let me think…Uh, the word 'no' comes to mind," he replied, opening the door.

"Steven," she laughed. "You know that if you're going to a party it's not a party until I'm there. No one can truly say they've had a party until I walk through the door."

"Whatever," he shrugged.

Hyde knew there wasn't any point to argue with her. Jackie would still manage to follow him. She had never been one to leave him be, not when she knew his current state of mind. Steven didn't view Jackie to be the caring kind and suspected that she was up to scandalous activity.

He stared at her a moment as she walked passed him. She was grinning as if she knew he wouldn't say anything to convince her to stay in Eric's basement. Steven groaned, dragging his feet, and slamming the door behind them.

Sitting on the counter of the Fotohut, splitting his stash with his mindless boss and a regrettably intoxicated, loud-mouthed cheerleader, wasn't exactly Steven's idea of winding down, but it was inexpensive way to calm his thoughts. He wouldn't remember the conversations in a few hours anyway.

"So, your school's having a dance," Leo laughed, nodding for no particular purpose. "I went to a dance once, but there was a lot of dancing, and I can't dance, man, man…Dude, I just said 'man' twice, man…Dude, I just did it again, dude!"

"I don't like Peter," Steven furrowed his brow. "He's the Yoko Ono of our band, man…"

"I didn't know you, that guy, that other dumb guy, that red-headed girl, and the stalker chick had a band," Leo chuckled. He cast a disturbed look in Jackie's direction as she laughed hysterically over nothing. "That's totally cool, dude. I just hope loud girl isn't the lead singer. Look at her, man. She's one egg short of a coo-coo's nest."

"He's alienated his way into our circle with his clever lines and fake compassion," Steven rambled on. "When I find the one who let him in, I'm gonna kick his ass." He paused a moment for dramatic effect, but then shunned himself. "Wait…I'm the one who let him in."

"Oh, Steven," Jackie roared with laughter. "You're not in a band. You're such a horrible singer." She paused briefly, gasping. "You should take me to the dance! You'll be the envy of every guy there. You'll be with the Spring Fling Queen….What does Queen of a Spleen even mean? Why would I want to be a queen of something that useless?"

"No way, man," Steven shook his head. "Dances are lame. The school system applauds the idea of having no social rankings by allowing students to congregate under one roof. Rebels can never co-exist with the jocks. I refuse to take part in that lame-ass hypocrisy of co-existence, man."

Jackie laughed again. "Steven, schools aren't allowed to have hippos. Wait, maybe they can. They do have Melissa." She nearly fell to the floor, laughing at her on joke. "Melissa's fat. She looks like a huge, giant, fat person!"

"You should go to the dance, man," Leo urged. "I went to a dance once. It was fun until the homeowners came home. I don't think they liked the dancing that went on in their bedroom, man."

"There's no way I'm going to that dance," he said adamantly. "It's like selling my soul to Satan, and I'm not talking about Forman's sister."

"Please," Jackie begged, following Steven as he stomped toward the gang's usual table. Eric, Donna, Fez, and Kelso had already arrived and turned to stare at the two bickering teens that had come to join them.

"No," he growled, taking a seat.

"Please, I can't win Spring Fling Queen without a date."

"Sure you can. You eat alone, sleep alone, I'm sure you can handle a tiara alone."

"That's not the point. You're going. End of story."

"Looks like somebody's got himself a date," Eric snickered.

"No, I don't," Steven retorted firmly. "I'm not going."

"C'mon, Hyde," Donna coaxed. "It'll be fun. I'm going with Casey."

"Yeah, well, I'm going with Paulette," Eric quickly added.

Jackie arched a brow. "Who's Paulette?"

"A-a girl in gym class," he replied, slightly stuttering.

Fez gave him a questioning look as he sat down his cup. "But, Eric there is not a girl in our gym class named Paulette."

"Yeah," Kelso nodded. " Fez is right. I know every hot girl in our class by name and phone number, so if there is a Paulette then she must be an uggo. I've never heard of her."

"Did I say she was in our gym glass?" Eric laughed nervously. "I meant she was in our gym class last year. She moved to Kenosha, but she's coming back to go to the dance with me because she's my date."

Steven chuckled at Eric's desperate attempt to make Donna jealous. "Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Forman."

Donna laughed, shaking her head.

"Steven, pick me up at seven on Saturday," Jackie ordered.

"I told you I'm not going," Steven sighed, annoyed that the attention was directed back to the imaginary date that wasn't going to happen.

"Oh, please," she rolled her eyes. "There are a million reasons why you should go to this thing, not only to escort the fabulously dressed me. You're paying Peter…"

Steven's eyes widened and the guys drew in ragged breaths.

Horrified, Jackie turned toward Donna. "I mean you're paying a lot of attention to Peter," she swiftly added. "Seeing as you think this guy can't be trusted, this would be the perfect opportunity for you to keep your eye on him."

"She does have a point," Fez nodded.

"Donna's her cousin. She can look after her."

"Yeah," Donna agreed, "but Melissa looks up to you for some reason."

"Don't go thinkin' I'm some night in shining armor that will go busting down hotel room doors to save two desperate morons from themselves. 'Cus I'm not, okay?"

Jackie's eye's lit up. "So, you're going to go?" she beamed. "Be sure you shower. I'm not going with you if you smell like molded cheese and brush your hair and teeth. Don't wear a Led Zepplin, Aerosmith, Alice Cooper, or any other t-shirt. No sunglasses, either. You're going to be presentable."

Steven held up a firm index finger to her face. "The shades stay. Keep pushing it, Jackie, and you won't be going at all. If you even think about asking me to dance, you're going to be walking home."

"Oh, Steven," she laughed light-heartedly. "You're going to have to dance with me. I totally have to show off once I've won."

"No," he shook his head. He stared at her, pouting his lower lip a moment. "Fine," he sighed, "one dance. That's it."

"Awww," Donna cooed. "Hyde's going to a dance!"

"Yeah," he groaned, "against my will."

Jackie's eyes were wide in horror when she caught a glimpse of Melissa, who stood a good distance across from her. Melissa stood alone, her head bobbed to the music and the sounds of the others on the dance floor.

"Oh, my god, Donna," she shrilled, nudging her friend. "What is your cousin wearing? It looks like a giant disco ball!"

The specks of light from the actual disco ball hanging above the center of the gymnasium ricocheted off of Melissa's bright, blinding silver dress; thus, she did appear to be a disco ball.

"I know this is hard for you, Jackie," Donna hissed, "but just for tonight, do you think that you could be nice to her?"

She shrugged. "I guess, but I'm not saying I know her. That dress is horrible!"

She turned, smiling at her ruggedly-handsome date for the evening. "Steven, I noticed you're not wearing your sunglasses."

Steven glared at her, standing stiff in his neatly-tailored suit.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I figured this way no one will recognize me."

Hyde was basically a prop for Jackie as she pulled him across the gym. She was consistently promoting herself to get that last full hour of preparation before Spring Fling Queen was decided. They finally came to a halt at Melissa's table.

In her unique way, Steven had to admit that Melissa looked somewhat adorable. Her hair was curled, and the layer of blue eye shadow accentuated her abnormally captivating eyes. She turned to face him with thickly-glossed lips. She smiled, though not at him, but rather at Peter as he handed her a glass of punch.

Before he could control himself, Steven let a compliment escape his lips. "You look nice tonight, Missy."

She turned, slightly surprised by his abrupt politeness.

"Great, first I ditch my trademark shades, and now I'm giving out compliments," he shunned himself in a vague effort to hide embarrassment. "What the hell is wrong with me? I think I need a beer."

Jackie gasped. "Steven, you didn't tell me that I looked nice. This must be a sign, a bad omen…I'm not going to be crowned queen. I'm not dressed pretty enough. Tell me I'm look pretty, Steven!"

"Pipe down, chatter-box, of course you'll win. You've annoyed everyone into voting for you, including me," Steven reassured.

Melissa giggled. "You look very nice also, Hyde."

"Yeah," Peter grinned, putting his arm around his date. "You clean up nicely, dude."

"Whatever," Steven shrugged, slightly irritated.

"Well, I would've given Michael the privilege of escorting me," Jackie began as if she owed everyone an explanation, "but he decided to bring stupid Pam Macy." She gestured to Kelso and rolled her eyes. Everyone glanced in her direction and chuckled.

During Kelso's attempt to dance, he had somehow managed to tangle himself up in the paper streamers that hung from the ceiling. Pam had lost interest in him and began to walk away as he pleaded for assistance.

"Okay, c'mon Pam," Kelso cried. "That's not fair. I always help you out of your clothes. The least you could do is help me out of the freakin' streamers! Pam, come back!"

"Peter, dear," Melissa laughed, shaking her head, "maybe you should go help him."

He nodded. "Alright, just let me enjoy his stupidity for a few more minutes."

Steven turned to Jackie. "I'm going to be by the punch and crap, so if you call me I'll probably ignore you." He didn't wait for her to object and stalked off to the decorated table lined with refreshments.

Steven was seething as he watched Peter on the dance floor with Melissa. He had grown accustom to "Stevey," and Melissa had the gall to start referring to him by his last name. He couldn't grasp why that irked him more than the fact that Melissa had fallen in love with his scapegoat. He sighed and reached beneath his overcoat and pulled a silver flask from his interior pocket. He took a long swig and paused and he stared at it a moment then at the punch bowl. With a slight smirk, Steven dumped the remaining contents into the red liquid.

"Hyde, what are you doing?" Donna questioned, coming up behind him.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he snapped, neurotically downing a cup of his concoction. "I'm spiking the punch. I have a feeling some bad things are gonna happen tonight, so I want to be too hung over and not remember."

"Being Jackie's date can't be that terrible tonight," she laughed. "She's actually treating you like you're a human being."

Steven stared at her a moment in silence. He admired her breathtaking essence. The silk lavender dress she wore stopped right above her knee. It moved with every enticing curve of her body as she walked. Her red hair hung loosely on her shoulder and her lips were a full crimson color. She had them slightly parted as if beckoning for Steven to capture them in a passionate kiss. He was tempted, but of course, what guy his age wasn't. Donna may have been the girl next door, but that didn't take away the fact that she was stunning in a dress.

He shook his head slightly to snap himself back into reality.

"Yeah, well," he groaned. "If I have to hear about her being queen of this freakin' dance one more time, I'm going to shove that tiara down her throat when she wins."

Donna laughed again. He seemed to be the same as usual only a little bit more discontent. She knew Jackie was part of the reason, but Melissa seemed to be what was most important. "Well," she grinned, "you know where to find me if you need a shoulder to cry on."

"Get bent," he growled, though a smirk formed, "and go dance with Forman, man. He's been eyeing you all night like a little lost puppy. It sickens me. Go put Old Yeller out of his misery."

Donna turned, her gaze fell on Eric.

He had been sitting at his table without a date.

"Okay," she sighed, turning back to Hyde. "But seriously if you need me just come find me."

He nodded and directed his attention back to Melissa and Peter.

Melissa had her arms wrapped around Peter's neck, lightly grazing the skin on the back of his neck with her finger tips.

"Can we get out of here before Jackie's announced queen?" she pleaded, looking deep into his eyes.

Peter chuckled. "Sure. Where do you want to go?"

She shuffled and cast her gaze to her feet. "Well, I…" she cleared her throat. "I got us a hotel room. If you want to go, that is."

Surprised by her forwardness, he raised a brow..

"Far out!" he grinned. "I mean, if you're sure that's what you want to do?"

Melissa looked up from the floor and smiled, "Totally."

"Almost have it….just about there…" Melissa panted. Peter groaned as another thud echoed into his ears. "...just one more time and that's it. Okay?" Her hair was damp with sweat as she drove her foot into the lock on the hotel room door.

"You know," he sighed, leaning against the outside railing, "if you want to do it so bad. We do have the back seat of my truck."

"My first time is not going to be in the backseat of a Toyota," she growled through gritted teeth, ramming the door again. "It's going to be romantic...perfect… Once we get in, it's going to be freakin' perfect!"

"Making love on bed sheets that smell like moldy cheese," he feigned enthusiasm, "that's a total fairy-tale ending."

She delivered one final Bruce Lee-style kick to the door. The wood split beneath the heel of her shoe and the lock gave way. The door violently swung open. Melissa smiled triumphantly and took a moment to catch her breath.

"After you," she sighed, turning to Peter.

"Finally," he groaned, not bothering to give her any thanks. Melissa followed behind him.

"Leave the door cracked," he suggested just as she was about to close it. "The last thing we need is to get locked in here."

She smirked. "Oh, I don't think that would be all bad."

Peter scowled and her smile faded.

She asked, "What if somebody walks in while we're in the middle of doing…stuff?"

"Who said we were going to be doing anything?" he inquired with a tense expression.

She glared at him confused and irate. "I thought you said…You mean after all that work you don't want to…You little…You little…"

Peter laughed, clutching her shoulders. "Dude, chill, I was just joking. I'll do anything you want to do."

Melissa sighed, smiling. "You'd better."

"You're so cute," he chuckled, placing his index finger under her chin and lowering his lips. Melissa closed her eyes. The sweet warmth of his breath on her lips caused her to melt within his sturdy embrace. Peter gently guided her across the shag carpet jungle to the bed. He refused to let her head fall upon the pillow without his hand beneath her.

The bed groaned in response to the commotion that was taking place on top of it; however, the two individuals seemed to take little heed to its warning. The thunderous racket increased and the slats at the foot of the bed collapsed.

"Oh my god," Melissa cried as she jolted up right. "What w…"

She was interrupted as the slats at the head of the bed buckled and sent the mattress plummeting to the floor. A bit frazzled, the pair stared at one another.

"Well, that was interesting," Peter burst into laughter, sliding closer to Melissa. He had barely given her enough time to register what had just occurred before he had positioned her for another breath-taking kiss. She was becoming uncomfortable by his assertiveness as her visions of a romantic evening were shattered.

Peter's free hand had worked its way up her thigh. Melissa wiggled as he tickled her stomach lightly with his finger tips. She tried to ignore the sensation, but she continued to squirm in an effort to move his hand in another direction as it worked its way up her body.

"Peter, quit tickling me." she giggled, finally breaking the kiss.

He looked down at her confused. "Tickling you? My hand's still on your leg."

She furrowed her brow and looked down to see a gigantic, three centimeter-long, brown blob, crawling its way up her chest.

"Cockroach! Huge, giant, ugly Cockroach!" she wailed in terror, leaping frantically up from the bed.

She continued slinging her arms about until she had slung the insect onto the bed. Peter raced to her aid while she continued to swat at herself and repeatedly scream the word "Cockroach" at the top of her lungs. Working quickly, he gathered the top of the bed sheets and threw them onto the floor. He stomped on them continuously until he had mashed them into the carpet.

He silently stared down at his Cockroach death trap. Melissa's heavy breathing and snorting echoed throughout the room. She shuffled across the room to join him.

"Did you kill it?" she asked, following Peter's gaze.

He shrugged. "I don't know. Do you want to check?"

Melissa shuttered at the thought. She placed her hand on her head and slowly sat back down on the sheet less mattress. She sat in silence, staring up at Peter with tears in her eyes. She sniffled.

"This isn't turning out like I planned," she snorted in an effort to prevent crying. "First, it's the mattress. Then, it's giant, ugly bugs. This night is supposed to be special, not disgusting."

"Wait," Peter arched a brow, "why do you want to bother sleeping with me if you find me so repulsing? Way to kick a guy when he's down."

Melissa glared at him. "This isn't funny," she cried, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I just wanted this to be special."

He chuckled, walked over, and took a seat next to her. "Look, honey," he began, taking her hand in between his. "I don't care about the bed, the door, or the bugs. As long as I'm with you, this night will always be special."

She smiled. "You mean that?"

Peter grinned, putting a hand on her cheek. "Yes—now, where were we?"

Melissa put her arms around his neck as he lowered her down on the bed. "Right about...here." She drew him into a passionate kiss.

Maybe her night was going to have a fairy-tale ending after all.


	11. Chapter 10

"I can't believe Melissa was runner-up," Jackie whined. She was still sore over the fact that the whole school was more concerned about Peter Little's girlfriend than her prize-winning moment of being announced Spring Fling Queen. "I mean the only reason the whole school even acknowledges her is because she's dating Peter. I wouldn't even acknowledge her if it weren't for him. You know, some people say he's related to God."

Steven groaned, "Jackie, will you just can it already? It's too early for Peter talk."

"Hyde," Donna raised a brow. "It's three in the afternoon."

He nodded. "That's the point. I just woke up thirty minutes ago, man." He turned to Jackie. "You won freakin' queen, isn't that enough? Do you strive for total cheerleader domination, too?"

"It's never enough," she exclaimed. "Not until the whole school realizes that I'm the center of the universe."

"I would like a world over-run by cheerleaders in slutty outfits," Fez chimed.

Kelso laughed. "I would like a world-over run by slutty cheerleaders, not wearing outfits."

"Oh, Stevey," Melissa wailed, snorting and sobbing as she dashed through the basement door. Her cheeks were swollen and red as if she had been crying all afternoon.

"Speak of the nerdy, little, loon herself," Steven grumbled.

"It was awful," Melissa sobbed in his shoulder. "Just plain awful."

"Was he _that_ bad?" he asked.

She pulled a way, whipping her eyes and sniffing. "Peter…"

"What did he do?" Donna questioned eagerly.

"We…we," she began, snorting, "made beautiful love."

"Whoa," Donna exclaimed. "You actually went through with it even after I gave you that crappy hotel room?"

Steven raised a knowing brow. "You mean the one with the molded-cheese- smelling bed sheets and giant Cockroaches? The homeless people won't even have sex at that place, man. I should know."

"Never mind that," Melissa drew in a long exasperated snort. "We…we…He broke up with me. You were all right. I should have never slept with him."

The ugly truth of her admission caused Melissa to sob even harder.

"What?" Donna shrilled.

Melissa nodding, wrapping her arms around her cousin. "I waited after school like I always do that's when he gave me the 'We Need to Talk' speech. He dumped me right outside the car…He wouldn't even give me a ride home. He's pretending like he doesn't even know me. Let me tell you, after Saturday night, he should know everything about me. Everything, down to that birth mark on my right…"

"I'm gonna kick his ass! That little…That little…" Donna paused as anger consumed her.

"Whore," Melissa sobbed. "Peter's a little whore."

"Take it easy, Donna," Steven began, attempting to restrain his true aggravation. "The guy's a creep, but the whole school will go into a massive riot if you break both his legs."

"See, Donna," Jackie pointed out. "That's why you'll never get married. You can't just go around threatening to break your husband's legs when he gets you angry…You go shopping and buy expensive outfits until he has no money left in his wallet."

"This is just awful," Melissa put her head in her hands. "I can't believe I was so stupid."

"Serves you right," Kelso scorned. "This is what you get when you go against a majority rules vote. That's why it's called a majority vote. We all voted against you."

"Kelso," her voice cracked. "I'm normally not this nasty, but blow it out your butt, you maladroit moron."

"I can't," he wailed insulted. "I don't even know what mala-whatever means, and you don't have to be so mean. I was trying to be compassionate."

"Well, this might cheer you up," Jackie smiled enthusiastically, handing Melissa a silver portion of glittered plastic.

Melissa looked up confused, "How's a piece of plastic supposed to cheer me up?"

"No, no," Jackie laughed. "That was your Spring Fling Princess crown. I got a little angry at you for stealing my thunder and smashed it into a million pieces, but now that Peter's ruined your life and you're back to normal, I thought I would give you a little piece of something to remember what once was."

Melissa glared at her a moment, sniffed, and began sobbing again.

"Donna, take your cousin back to your house," Steven instructed. "All this crying and crap is stressing me out. I need to think and I can't with all the tears and snorting."

"Damn it," Hyde groaned, coughing. "This is my second circle today, man, and I'm still stressed. Forman, did you put Oregano in this again?"

"Now that Melissa is not with Peter, do you think she will have sex with me?" Fez asked.

Kelso's face soured. " Fez, that's just wrong. You can't speak English, but that's no reason for you to lower yourself to sleeping with a Humpback Whale…Oh, and she just broke up with the guy that Hyde paid to date her."

Fez furrowed his brow. "I'm still a virgin, you bastard. At this point, I'm willing to do it with anyone."

"Hyde, what are you going to do about Missy?" Eric asked. "She's, like, all sad and stuff, not that I care, but I care about what Donna cares about."

"I'm not going to do anything," Steven replied. "Okay, so she's all sad and crap, but she pulled a Kelso, and besides, I don't have to pay Peter anymore. That works for me. She'll be back to her normal, annoying existence in a few days."

"Man," Eric exclaimed. "He makes you want to punch him, but he'd like break my face afterwards, so I'm not going to punch him. I like my face where it is."

Steven looked at him in disgust. "Uh, yeah, if you quit acting like a little girl, Erica, I'll talk to her."

Melissa had her head buried in the soft fur of her giant teddy bear. It was old, raggedy, and had one eye missing, but in her current state of despair she didn't care. Mr. Fluffykins was the closest thing she had to comfort. He used to belong to Steven before the criminal record. Melissa inhaled a shaky breath, engulfing herself within Hyde's scent, or some other combination of scents, that still lingered within the fabric.

"Hey, snot and sniffles," Steven greeted, carrying an empty plate as he barged into Donna's room.

"I don't want to talk," she grumbled, sadly snorting.

"Good, because I didn't come to talk," he reassured, sitting next to her on the bed. "Out of the unusual kindness of my heart, I brought you a sandwich, but then it occurred to me that you probably wouldn't eat it, so I ate it on the way here."

"Thanks for the thought," she flatly responded.

"Yeah," he nodded. "It was pretty good sandwich."

Melissa stared at him with red-watery eyes. Knowing Steven came there for a purpose, other than feeding his stomach, she kept silent so he could continue.

"Okay, look," he sighed after a moment. "Because the guys caught me at a pretty manipulative frame of mind, I somehow let them convince me that I should come and talk to you about this whole Peter thing."

"Until you can find some voodoo witch doctor who can curse him with a severe case of male-pattern baldness, causing him to lose his boyish good looks," she retorted dryly, "I don't want to talk about him."

"No," he shook his head, "but I think for a bag of jellybeans and five bucks, I can get Fez to make a few sexual advances toward him."

"I said humiliate him," she rolled her eyes, "not turn him on."

He grinned slightly, though Melissa's face remained firm. "I'm not good at this consoling crap," he confessed, "but you can do so much better than that guy. I think you have it in you to get over this. You got over your parents, right?"

"That's easy for you to say," she cried. "You're immune to loving anyone. I mean I was tricked by this guy. I actually thought he cared…I loved him so much that I was willing to over-look the fact that my first time was going to have an audience of life-size Cockroaches with their beady little eyes peering over the edge of the mattress!"

"Okay, I didn't need that image," he groaned. "Next time, keep those dirty, little details to yourself."

She squealed in irritation. "Get out! Get out! Get out!"

"Fine," Steven retorted as he stormed toward the door. He caught a glimpse of the teddy bear in her lap and turned back around. "Hey, wasn't that mine…you know, before the whole criminal record?"

Melissa narrowed her eyes. "I said get out!" she screamed, throwing the bear at him just as he slammed the door.

"Fine," he yelled from opposite side of the door, "and you're welcome that I'm so freakin' understanding!"


	12. Chapter 11

Melissa lay in bed moaning and groaning as she wrapped the quilt around herself. She appeared to be very gaunt and pale since she had been throwing up the last several days. She claimed to be deathly ill; however, Donna had her suspicions.

"I can't believe my dad actually let her miss school again," Donna whispered as she and the group crept up the stairs to her room. "She's let Peter get to her so much that she actually thinks she's sick."

"Hey," Eric suggested. "We can call Red."

"Donna said she wanted her out of bed, Forman," Steven retorted. "She didn't say anything about a foot going up Missy's ass."

"I know," Fez offered. "We can bribe her with candy."

Kelso shook his head. "We can put a mirror in front of her face. She'd take one look and be scared right out of bed."

"We could pay her," Jackie recommended. "And by 'we', of course, I mean one of you. I refuse to waste Daddy's hard-earned money on a lost cause."

"I may be sick," Melissa's disgruntled yell came from inside the bedroom, "but I can still hear every word you're all saying, you know."

"My dad sent me up here to get you out of bed," Donna explained, opening the door.

Melissa propped herself up on her pillow and doubtfully looked at her cousin. "He did not. He even gave me a little bell, so I could ring if I needed him."

"Isn't there something we can do to get you out of bed and out of the house?" Donna asked, pleadingly. "This whole pretending to be sick thing is getting ridiculous."

"I've gotten out of bed plenty of times today," Melissa reassured, "to vomit and that's about it."

"But you have missed so many things at school," Fez informed.

Melissa raised a brow. "How is that possible? I know more than my teachers."

"Well," Jackie replied. "Steven got suspended for two days."

That seemed to peak Melissa's interest. "What? Why?"

"He made Peter cry like a little girl," Kelso laughed. "It was freakin' awesome!"

"Yeah," Eric laughed. "He keeps telling people a football hit his face because Hyde broke his nose."

She smiled weakly at Hyde. "Did you really break his nose?"

Steven shrugged dismissively. "Yeah, well, he thought he was God and my fist disagreed." That much was true, but what Hyde didn't mention was the reason he had sent the poor boy to emergency room. Fifty dollars and Peter's broken agreement had been involved in the dispute.

"Doesn't that make you want to just jump out of bed and celebrate?" Donna questioned with excitement, trying to urge her cousin up from the bed.

"It's tempting," she shrugged, "but really, I don't feel well at all."

"At least go to The Hub for a pop," Jackie bargained. "This whole feeling-sorry-for-you thing is getting on my nerves."

Eric turned to her, questioningly. "Like you don't get on ours?"

"C'mon, Missy," Donna pleaded. "I have faith in you. You can do it."

Melissa glared at her a moment and finally let out a tiresome sigh. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you."

Steven eyed Melissa cautiously as she swayed unsteadily in her chair. She was as white as the wallpaper of the restaurant. "Missy, are you feeling okay?"

She cut her eyes at him. "Sure, I'm as fresh as a daisy," she sneered. Nausea had swept upon her again. She stood quickly, knocking over her chair in the process.

"Move it, pretty-boy," she cried, shoving Kelso out of her way, "or I'm going to ralph all over your shoes."

Michael furrowed his brow. "Ralph? Who's Ralph?"

"You moron," Steven groaned. "She's got to throw up."

Kelso looked baffled. "Wait, why would someone name a girl Ralph, and why would she have to throw up on my shoes? Hyde, are _you_ feeling okay?"

"Forget it," Steven grumbled, watching as Melissa fretfully slammed the restroom door.

Staggering, Melissa emerged from the bathroom a few moments later and flopped down in her chair.

"Missy, maybe you should go to the doctor," Donna encouraged, full of concern.

"Yeah, my mom can drive you to the hospital on her way to work," Eric offered.

Melissa nodded. "Okay, maybe some antibiotic is just what I need to get over this."

Melissa clasped her sweating hands together as she stared grudgingly at Peter. He was surrounded by his friends and laughing as if he were without a care in the world. She was reluctant to approach the boy who had shattered her heart, but given the circumstances that had occurred within the last couple of days, the lover who had jilted her without a purpose, needed to hear her regretful confession.

Inhaling a deep breath, she reluctantly forced herself to advance toward him. "Peter," she cleared her throat, shaking, "I need to talk to you."

His callous face glared down at her. She felt like retreating, but instead stood her ground. She cast an uninterested glance at Peter's friends.

"Alone would be nice," she requested firmly.

Peter nodded to his friends, and they quickly disappeared down to hallway.

"Make this quick, man. I have to get to class," he snapped. "And if this is about us getting back together. I said it wasn't working out, so you, like, need to move on."

"I went to the doctor yesterday," she informed.

"So?" he shrugged, looking as though he didn't have time for her pointless information.

She looked at him and inhaled another shaky breath. "Peter, I'm pregnant."

His eyes widened. He began to breathe erratically as he backed up against the lockers.

"Whoa, whoa" he wailed. "It can't be mine. I'm going to be the star player of Wisconsin University's football team next year. I can't be pegged as the guy who got a sophomore pregnant."

"You can't just abandon me and this baby, Peter," she shrieked, her strength depleting.

"Sure I can," he insisted. "Plenty of respective people leave their families."

"Peter, will you listen to yourself?" she scorned. "This isn't you at all."

"You don't know me," he screamed, pointing an index finger in her face. "This kid isn't mine, you hear me?"

"Peter…" she tried to plea, but her voice faded.

He shook his head furiously as he threw up his hands. He clenched his jaw. "I wasn't getting paid enough for this."

Her eyes swelled up with tears. "What?"

"Yeah," he spat. "Paid…You know, maybe you should try talking to your 'pal' Hyde." With that, Peter stalked off and left Melissa alone and confused.

Eric's basement door swung violently open, collided with the wall behind it, and slammed shut again. Melissa pushed the door with an animalistic growl and stormed to the center of the room. Her chest was heaving in anger and her fist clenched by her side.

"Steven whatever-your-middle-name-is Hyde...how could you?" she shrilled, glaring at him, burning a whole through his tough exterior.

"Okay, it was me. I stole them," Fez cried. "I stole your last two Twinkies, but I was hungry, and they were calling my name like the naughty virgins at the Wisconsin convent!"

Unfazed, Steven sat up in his chair. "It would be much easier for me to give a false excuse if I knew exactly what you were talking about."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," she snapped, gritting her teeth. "You paid Peter to date me, and then worst of all, you let me think he actually cared about me!"

"You did what?" Donna, along with the rest of the group, exclaimed in unison.

"Oh, like you guy didn't know," she sneered, turning to Donna. "Don't get me started on you. I can't believe you knew and didn't tell me."

"Missy, I really didn't…" Donna tried to explain.

Melissa held up her hand. "Save it for later," she interrupted, turning to her attention back to Steven. "This is by far the most underhanded, most despicable thing you have ever done. Don't you have anything to say in your defense?"

"Of course I do, give me a minute," he nodded, pausing a moment. "Okay, yeah, I got nothing."

She let out a shaky laugh. "I'm glad you think this is funny, but tell me something, did you pay him to get me pregnant, too?"

Steven was in awe and he felt lower than dirt at that point, which was a whole new experience for him altogether. "He…got you pregnant?"

"Yeah," she laughed coldly. "The rabbit died…the freakin' rabbit died." Tears fell from her cheeks as she commenced to sobbing.

"A rabbit," Kelso looked confused. "Who gives a crap about a rabbit dying, Missy? Did you just hear yourself? You're pregnant. A freakin' fluff ball shouldn't matter!"

"Missy, I'm really…" Steven began, but trailed off.

She shook her head. "No, don't even go and start apologizing now. I don't know if it's because you're bitter or what, but must you go and try to screw up my life just because yours hasn't been so kind to you? I thought you were my friend," she paused, looking at everyone. "I thought you were all my friends."

Melissa turned to Kelso, tears flowing like a heavy rain from her eyes. "You were exactly right," she cried. "I should've gone back to the zoo I had come from…at least they liked me there." She let out a gut-wrenching sob and rushed out the basement door. As it slammed shut, everyone glared at Hyde in silence.

Fez tried to console his vulnerable best friend as she sobbed in his arms while the two of them sat on the basement couch. The pair had ditched school upon finding out that Peter had miraculously moved to Kenosha in only a matter of days. He sat next to Melissa and held her.

"I don't know what to do now," she whimpered, finally looking at him. "How am I supposed to tell my uncle I'm pregnant when the father of my unborn child isn't here?"

"Hey, I know. You could tell him that it is my baby," Fez suggested.

Melissa laughed slightly, wiping her swollen eyes.

" Fez, I can't say that," she said, "First off, Uncle Bob would have you deported. Secondly, you're only saying that because you want me to have sex with you in order to make that statement plausible."

"You cannot blame a needy man for trying," he pouted.

Melissa finally gained control of her emotions long enough to stop crying.

"This is all Steven's fault. If he wanted me out of his hair, he could've just asked nicely," she fumed, trying her best convey her anger even though she wasn't quite sure if she really was angry, "but no. He had go and be a fart-face and pay some jerk to date me, and then that some jerk had to go and knock me up."

Fez chuckled. "You would not have left Hyde alone even if he had asked nicely. You were all over him like termites on a tree."

Melissa nodded, holding back a sob that was working its way up her throat.

"You're right," she admitted. "I was pretty obsessed with him…Now, I just can't stand him. He's a vile creature. I don't wish bad things for him, but I just don't think it's fair that he's still breathing. A swine like him shouldn't be allowed to partake in breathing the same air as a good, almost, but now former friend."

Fez sat with a bewildered expression on his face and assumed that it was best that he let Melissa continue speaking, yet every time Hyde was mentioned, he seemed to get even more confused. Maybe it was an American custom to say angry, insulting remarks about someone even when that person didn't really seem that angry.

"Wait," Fez began after a moment, "I thought you were mad at Peter and now you're focusing on Hyde. This does not make sense to me."

"Yes, I'm still mad at conceded-football-jerk-that-leaves-his-unborn-child, but there is nothing I can do about that now…I just can't believe Steven would play me for a fool like that and then to pretend…" She sighed, trailing off. It was pointless to continue when she was fairly certain that Fez had no idea what she was getting at. She simply rested her head against his shoulder and stared at the black television screen in front of her as she forced back the fresh batch of tears ready to fall from her eyes.

"You know what's even worse than Steven's pretending?" she asked softly.

"That for the next nine months of your young life, you'll have a little person growing inside of you," he guessed. He stopped momentarily and added, "Meanwhile, Kelso will continue to burn you about literally becoming a beached whale as your stomach grows into a magnificent masterpiece the size of a giant bowling ball."

Despite the fact that she didn't feel like showing happiness, Melissa laughed.

"Well, I hadn't really thought about that but thank you for pointing it out," she responded with a weak sigh. "What's worse is that I can't really be upset with him."

"Now, I am really confused," Fez raised a brow. "If you are not that mad at him, why won't you talk to him? You act like you're mad at him. Just like he acts like he is mad at you, but he should not be mad at you because he is the one that introduced you to, how did you say it, conceded-football-jerk-that-leaves-his-unborn-child?"

"That's just it, Fez," she explained. "He lied to me, and I can't be friends with someone who lies to me like that."

"Well, in Hyde's defense," he cleared his throat uncomfortably, "Everyone knew about the whole Peter thing, except for Donna. She honestly did not know… Even I, Fez, your loving best friend, knew of it. I am ashamed that I did not tell you." He hung his head, adding, "I am a disgrace to you."

"Oh, Fezzie-pie, honey, you're foreign," Melissa patted his leg comfortingly, "so you don't count. Backstabbing your friends is an American tradition. It's a whole new concept for you, but now that you know it's wrong, I'm sure that you'll never practice it again."

He smiled. "You're right," he nodded. "All that backstabbing made me go through eight boxes of delicious Jujubes a week."

Melissa quickly sat up and stared at him sympathetically.

"Oh, you poor thing," she gasped, throwing her arms around his neck. "You haven't eaten that many Jujubes since the time you had erotic dreams about the mad scientist from _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_ and then found out that 'she' was really a man."

She giggled and pulled away after a moment.

"Thank you for listening to me," she smiled.

"Here for you," he laughed. "You promised free ice cream if I listened to your talk of how love stinks. I have listened to this talk for more than two hours. Can we please watch the television now? I'm missing Charlie's Angels."

Melissa adjusted her glasses and repositioned herself beside him.

"Sure," she laughed.

Fez sighed with a relief and turn on the television just in time to see the introduction of the show. He grinned excitedly. Melissa shook her head, knowing the only reason he bothered to watch the show was for the shots of the three Charlie's Angels beauties running in slow motion.

It was a quarter after three o'clock when Eric and his friends came galloping down the basement stairs. Hyde was the last to enter. Melissa rose very quickly.

"Melissa," he acknowledged uncomfortably.

"Whatever," she grumbled, rushing passed him. She looked momentarily at Donna. "I'll see you at home, D."

She raced up the stairs before she could start crying again.

"Well, that was interesting," Steven cleared his throat and took a seat in his chair.

"I wouldn't talk to you, either," Donna snapped.

"Yeah, but you are," he grinned.

"So, how long is nine months?" Kelso asked, sitting next to Fez on the couch. "I mean, I know it is nine months, but, like, in days. I want exact days because I don't want to start burning her about becoming a real-life whale too soon because that's, like, stupid. These burns have to be down to the exact days, man."

"Kelso..," Fez shook his head. "You are an idiot."

"Missy actually trusted you," Donna continued, "and then you have to go and be such a dink to her. You're a pretty selfish person, you know that?"

"Look, man," Steven groaned. "I was gonna tell her that I was sorry about the whole thing. Don't forget I did tell her to keep her hands to herself."

"Yeah, Hyde," Eric, of course, was agreeing with Donna. "I told you this was a bad idea from the start, but did you listen? No."

"Shut up, Eric," Donna spat, returning her attention back to Steven. "You'd be lucky if she ever speaks to you again. She's so scared right now, and as a friend, you should be there her, not leave her to figure this out by herself. Can you imagine her being a mom alone? She doesn't even have a mom to know what one is supposed to be like."

"Melissa will never speak to me again. Oh, how can I go on with my life?" was his flat, insensitive response. He folded his arms and stared at the television.

"You're such a jerk," she shrieked.

"Calm down, guys," Fez spoke up at last, "this is not necessary. Melissa is not that angry with Hyde anymore."

Steven couldn't help, but raise a brow. "She's not?"

" Fez," Kelso laughed. "She has to be mad at him. He paid some moron to get her pregnant. I would be mad at Hyde if he paid some chick to knock me up."

Hyde shook his head disgustingly at his idiotic friend. "Part of what the doofus said is right. Melissa is definitely mad, man. She even pulled a zen, 'whatever'. Nobody has ever pulled a masterful zen, 'whatever' on me."

Eric nodded. "Didn't you invent the zen, 'whatever'?"

"Like, yeah, man," Steven replied.

Fez chuckled. "She is just angry that you were supposed to be her friend, yet you followed the American tradition of backstabbing. If you would really share your feelings maybe she would forgive you, Hyde."

Everyone thought a moment and then started laughing.

"Hyde having feelings," Kelso howled, "that's a good burn, Fez."

"I do not have feelings," Steven shouted. "Never insult me like that again."

"We all have feelings, Hyde," Fez informed.

"Emotions are for wusses," Steven retorted.

Hyde folded his arms. He was starting to believe that he did have emotions after all, which made him also believe that he was in great need of some psychiatric help. For some insane reason, he actually missed Melissa's annoying little shrill of excitement all the time. He didn't think her not talking to him would affect him this badly. He was clearly becoming somewhat of an emotional panty-waist, and that was not in his agenda when this Peter ordeal came about. However, maybe a different side of him would make Melissa forgive him without him having to beg for it. After that, he could finally get some sleep in the afternoon. 


	13. Chapter 12

Melissa softly closed the door to the basement once she was inside the kitchen. She covered her mouth with her hand as a soft sob escaped her lips. She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall. She still clung to the hope that when she opened them that this would have all been a dream. She prayed that she would wake from this dream. Instead, when she opened her eyes again, she found that she was still the sixteen-year-old child with a child of her own arriving in a few months. Melissa clutched her stomach and sighed. If only she weren't so upset with Steven, she could have used one of his sarcastic cheer-up lines at that moment.

"Oh, Melissa, honey," Kitty said as turned away from the stove a moment to get the oven mitt on the counter.

"Mrs. Forman," Melissa jumped unexpectedly.

Kitty carefully carried her pot roast to the oven and turned to face Melissa with a pleasant smile as she shut the oven door.

"Why aren't you in the basement with everyone else?" she asked.

"I really don't think I can tell you right now," Melissa replied.

Kitty took out fresh china from the cabinets.

"Well," she smiled with a light chuckle as she thrust some plates into Melissa's arms, "If you're going to stay for dinner, we'll have to move into the dining room. Come help me set the table, and we'll have some girl talk."

She let out another chuckle, turned, and walked toward the doorway diagonal from her, which led into the larger dining area.

Melissa followed behind Kitty and began to quietly set her stack of plates down on the table. Eric's mother cheerfully hummed some tune she must have heard on the radio as she made sure the dinner table was in order.

"Are you upset about Peter?" Kitty asked after a moment.

Melissa's head rose. "How did you find out?"

"Steven told me all about it," she replied, sounding applaud. "I had no idea he was receiving all those horrible threats at school. Someone was actually threatening to break the poor boy's legs," she paused a moment and looked at Melissa as if to see whether or not she was still following the conversation. "I guess that's how it goes when you're such a big football star," she added, continuing her task. "His parents did the right thing in sending him to that school in Kenosha. I'm sure once he makes a fresh start that he'll pick up right where the two of you left off."

"He had better not," Melissa growled. "I'll have Donna break both his and Hyde's legs if that ever happens."

Kitty's head shot up quickly with a horrified expression.

"Melissa Pinciotti," she gasped. "I have never heard you speak like that, especially about Steven. You're so fond of Steven."

The teenager shook her head in disagreement. "Not anymore I'm not. Steven's a backstabbing, little, weasel. I thought he was my friend, but he obviously wasn't."

"Oh, honey," Kitty laughed. "I'm sure Steven isn't a little weasel."

Melissa flopped down in the closets chair and put her head into her hands.

"Mrs. Forman," she sighed. "Steven wasn't honest with you, which I'm sure isn't a total shock. You see, Peter never really liked me. Steven paid him to like me."

Kitty stopped abruptly across the table from Melissa. She inhaled exasperatedly

"I knew it," she shouted almost in relief. "I knew someone had to be paying that poor boy. Oh, I just knew it."

Melissa's eyes widened and her mouth dropped. "Mrs. Forman!"

"Oh, honey," Kitty let out her trademark nervous laugh. "It's not that I don't think you're a nice young lady. You're a very nice girl, but you're just…you're just…Well, Melissa, sweetheart, you're just a little bit weird."

"Mrs. Forman!" Melissa shrieked again.

Kitty gave another nervous laugh. "Think about it, honey. You followed Steven around everywhere. You did everything, but try to feed him."

"Oh, no," Melissa responded. "I tried that once, but he said that if my fingers ever came near his mouth again, he'd chop them off with his pocket knife."

Kitty smiled sympathetically and walked around the table to where Melissa sat. She wrapped her arms lovingly around Melissa's neck.

"I'm sorry, dear," she said after a moment. "Deep down...way deep down…I'm sure Steven is as well. He's just used to being abandoned and not sheltered with so much love…your unnatural, overbearing, love. Talk to him and I'm sure things will work out."

"What if they don't, Mrs. Forman?" Melissa mumbled.

"Oh, I'm sure they will," she replied. "A friend like Steven is hard to come by."

"Yeah," Melissa nodded, standing to her feet. "And, if I can't work things out with him, I can just get Red to put a foot in his butt."

"Oh, honey," Kitty laughed. "Red wouldn't do that for you. He's just happy you've stayed out of the house. He would probably congratulate Steven for a job well done and offer him Eric's room again."

Melissa laughed and kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks for everything."

Jackie gasped as Melissa came down the basement stairs. She rushed up to her and threw her arms around her neck. Jackie's unacceptable shriek of compassion startled Melissa, and she was controlling the impulse to sling her off.

"Oh, Missy, I am so sorry about your unwanted pregnancy," she said.

Melissa furrowed her brow in confusion. "You are?"

The brunette laughed. "Oh, of course not, but I just wanted to say it because I know how thinking your pregnant feels, except I wasn't really pregnant and you are. I'm just glad I'm not you, pregnant and abandoned. It's really sad."

"Gee," Melissa responded flatly. "Thanks for your compassion and the constant mentioning of the fact that I am pregnant."

Jackie smiled and patted her on the shoulder. "You're welcome." Satisfied with herself, she went and sat back down on the sofa.

Melissa drew in a deep breath and gathered enough courage to approach Steven. He barely acknowledged her presence. She was dying to get a glimpse of his eyes, which were his weakness. They expressed his true emotions in contrast to his cold exterior.

She fixed her eyes firmly on Steven. "Will you guys give us a minute alone?" she requested to the others that were in the room.

"Sure…Wait, no," Eric replied. "This is my basement. You and Hyde leave."

"Leave!" she barked impatiently.

"Man, there's nothing like getting kicked out of your own basement," Eric grumbled as he and the others filed out the basement door.

Melissa waited until the door had been shut.

"I think we should talk," she said after a moment.

"Whatever," Steven shrugged, getting up from his chair. He began walking toward the basement stairs.

She let out a Michael Kelso indignant shriek.

"Oh, no you don't," she clutched his shirt collar and spun him back around. "You're not going to, 'whatever' me and think you can just walk away. You are going to sit in that chair with your arms folded and listen to every dang word I have to say!"

It took Steven a few seconds to recover from the shock of her sudden forcefulness. He scowled and folded his arms again.

"You don't like me and I can't stand you," he responded flatly. "I don't think there's anything left to talk about."

"Steven," she interrupted. Just listen to me a minute. I have some things I need to say to you…First of all, I understand you're a screw up and emotionally damaged by your trucker-loving mother and jailbird daddy. I'm perfectly fine with that."

"And I understand that you're an obsessive stalker disguised as a walking genius," he sneered. "That didn't listen to her friends when they told her not to do it in the first place. I'm not okay with that."

Melissa nodded understandingly. "I realize that I was somewhat of a shadow to you whenever you were around."

"A shadow," he wailed. "You used to freakin' watch me sleep, man!"

She nodded. "Yes, I know and that's why I kind of understand your demented reasoning for hiring someone to like me. However, you could've just asked me to leave you alone and I would have tried really, extremely hard to do so."

"I did…over and over again," he snapped, "but you're like some giant zit, man, that won't go away no matter how many times you pop it."

"Quit making stupid analogies," she cried. "This is serious stuff. Partly because of you, I'm pregnant and alone…" She gasped and sat down on the couch, "Oh, my god," she added weakly. "I'm pregnant and alone."

"Wait," Hyde began, "Jackie just said, like, five seconds ago that you were, 'pregnant and abandoned' and it took you this long to realize that she was right?"

Melissa broke into loud sobs.

"I've been so upset with you lying and Peter ditching me," she wailed, snorting uncontrollably. "I didn't stop to think that I'm going to be doing this all my own."

"I'm so scared, Stevey," Melissa said between snorts.

"Stevey," he repeated to himself.

Steven's barrier seemed to dissolve as he watched her fall apart before him. The panic in her tone and the way she began to refer to with affection once again made him feel a sense of warmth inside. May God strike him dead for admitting it aloud, but he was actually beginning to feel sorry for Melissa.

He sighed and rose slowly from his chair.

"C'mon," he said, putting an arm around her shoulder as he took a seat next to her. "You're not completely alone. You have Donna and Bob."

Melissa looked him a moment and wailed even louder. "My child's doomed."

"Okay. Okay," he groaned. "You've got me…I'll be around and whatever."

"No, you won't," she sniffled, shaking her head. "I'm mad at you, remember?"

"Oh, come on," he laughed slightly. "You're actually going to let this kid be influenced by Bob just because you have a stupid grudge with me?"

"I'm not holding a grudge. You lied to me."

"So, I lie to a lot of people."

"It was stupid and wrong."

"I'm still not seeing your point."

Melissa stared at him a moment and let out a shaky sigh.

"I'll let this all go," she began, "if you are willing to apologize."

"No way, man," Steven quickly responded, pulling away. "I don't do that."

"I think I deserve that much."

"No."

"Stevey..."

"No."

"It's not that hard."

"No."

"Fine, you can say, 'Missy, I'm S,' and we can leave it at that."

"That's still like saying, 'I'm sorry,' and I'm not saying it."

"You just did."

"…Damn it."

"Apology accepted," Melissa smiled, patting his leg.

Defeated, Steven rose from the couch and flopped back down in his chair.

"Whatever. We've talked, so beat it," he ordered. "I have some thinking to do."

Kelso was rocking back and forth with laughter as he, Eric, Fez, and Hyde gathered around the table for their daily dosage of the circle.

"I can't believe Missy actually forgave you," he roared. "You, like, knocked her up, and she still forgave you, man! For what it's worth, I hope the kid looks like you."

Steven looked disturbed. "Kelso, man, never use Missy, me, and 'knocked up' in the same sentence again."

"What are you gonna be, Hyde?" Eric asked, laughing, "A fill-in dad?"

"That is so sweet," Fez grinned. "When the baby gets older, Hyde will have someone to sit next to him in a jail cell besides one of us."

"Dude," Kelso exclaimed. "How are you going to tell Bob? Since Peter's not here for him to kill, you're gonna be, like, so dead…Hey, before you're dead, can I have your boots, man? They're bitchin'."

With his current state of impairment, all Hyde could do was laugh.

"I forgot about Bob," he howled. "I should be so worried… but I can't feel my face right now, man! My whole entire face is freakin' numb. Yeah, that's good stuff."

Eric laughed. "And when Bob finds out about Missy, your face will be dead."

All those in the circle burst into more fits of laughter.

"Kelso, why are there so many little holes in your shirt?" Melissa asked, sitting next to Donna on the sofa. Everyone finally reunited in the basement before Mrs. Forman called for dinner.

"Nothing," Michael replied, sounding a little offended. "Holes are just cool. Why don't you have holes in your shirt?"

"He lit himself on fire again when he was lighting incense," Eric laughed.

"Speaking of holes," Steven began, looking up from his car magazine. "Missy, when exactly were you planning on telling Bob about your bun in the oven?"

"I don't know," she replied. "How about in nine months?"

Steven questioned slightly sarcastic, "And you don't think that he's not going to notice your stomach getting bigger?"

Melissa shrugged. "I eat a lot already. If I gain a few pounds, he probably won't even notice."

"That's true," Kelso nodded. "She's the size of a whale already…Burn!"

"Melissa," Donna shunned as she smacked Michael on the side of the head, "it may take dad a good five months to finally put pieces together, but after that he'll eventually figure things out. It's best to just tell him now."

"But, whatever you do," Steven added, "you've got to be subtle about this."

"Oh, I know," Jackie offered. "You could just write him a letter and leave it in his breakfast plate tomorrow morning. Letters are always a great way to tell someone horrible news."

Fez asked, "What if Bob eats the letter before he realizes that he needs to read it?"

"Yeah," Donna nodded in agreement. "My mom used to write him disgusting love letters and leave them in his dinner plate all the time, but he always thought it was edible decoration."

"Alright," Melissa sighed. "Steven and I will tell everyone at dinner."

"Whoa, whoa," Hyde jerked up his head. "Don't go dragging me into this."

She looked at him confused. "I thought you said that you would be here…"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'll be here for you whenever you get so big that you can't see your shoes. I never said I'd be in the same room when you spilled to Bob."

"You're just as much to blame," she pointed out, "so I think you should be there."

"We all should be there," Kelso laughed. "It's going to be wicked awesome!"

Red sat disgruntled. He glared at all the children that were gathered around _his_ dinner table and eating his dinner. He violently stabbed the carrots in his plate with his fork and slowly drew it to his mouth.

"Kitty," he grumbled. "Why are there so many damn kids at this table? It's enough we have to deal with them in the basement. I just want one family dinner with my family, not the whole neighborhood…Hey, you, the foreign kid. Keep your hands above the table…And Kelso, stop making a mashed potato volcano. You're not in grade school for God's sake."

"Actually, sir," Eric chuckled. "Some of us beg to differ."

Red scowled. "Shut up, Eric. Eat your damn carrots!"

"Oh, Red," Kitty giggled. "I think that it's wonderful that all the kids were so eager to eat with us tonight."

"I don't," he spat. "They should eat with their own families or starve. Melissa, you're the only exception because your uncle can't cook worth a crap. "

"Oh, Melissa, honey," Kitty began, looking across the table. "I see that you and Steven have worked things out."

Red turned to Hyde and asked, "Other than the fruit stalking you the majority of the time, why were you two having problems?"

"It's actually a funny story," Eric laughed. "You see, Hyde was paying Peter to date Melissa and then she found out…"

Red laughed slightly. "Well, nice work, Steven. Too bad she wasn't out of the house any longer than she was."

Kitty added, "Well, I'm sure he feels bad about this mess. Don't you, Steven?"

Hyde shrugged, "Not really, but whatever."

"Oh, everything is fine now, Mrs. Forman," Melissa reassured and began to speak rapidly, "We talked. Well, I talked. He listened. We yelled a lot about how I'm pregnant and it's his fault. Could you pass the peas, please?"

The other children immediately dropped their forks and stared from Red to Kitty.

"Oh, that's nice," she laughed, reaching across the table to pass the bowl of peas. She stopped abruptly, nearly dropping the bowl onto the table.

"You're what?!" she and Red exclaimed simultaneously.

"That was really subtle," Hyde hissed to Melissa.


	14. Chapter 13

Melissa looked silently at her uncle. She and Steven sat next to one another at Mr. and Mrs. Forman's kitchen table. For the last five minutes, since Kitty had broken the news to Bob, he hadn't said a word. He just kept staring at her, his face a bright shade of red, and he huffing like some sort of wild bore. Melissa cast a confused glance at Red and Kitty. They seemed just as baffled as she was.

"Bob," Kitty laughed slightly. "I think your taking this rather well, but you just found out that your sixteen-year-old niece is having a baby. Don't you think you should at say something, anything to her?"

"Hell, Kitty," Red replied. "He's probably still in shock from you running across his yard, carrying a bowl of peas, yelling, 'She's pregnant!' at the top of your lungs."

"I don't understand how this could happen," Bob said after a moment.

"You see, Bob," Steven explained. "When a girl believes that a boy loves her, said girl tends to do stupid things for said boy. In this case, the 'stupid things' involved sleeping with said boy."

"Put a lid on it, Steven," Red scorned, "or said foot will find its way up your ass."

"You were always such a responsible young lady," Bob ranted. He pointed in Steven's direction. "All this started when you started hanging around him. He's a bad influence. Look what he's done to you now."

"Why does everybody keep acting like I'm the one that knocked her up, man?" Hyde questioned, slightly aggravated. "I'm not the one that slept with someone after I told me not to."

"Uncle Bob," Melissa cried. "That's not fair. Steven had nothing to do with this…Well, he did a little, but I'm the one that went overboard. This is my fault, my problem, and I'm going to take full responsibility for my actions."

"Oh, no you don't," he yelled, "You're not telling me what you're going to do. Where's this Peter boy? He's going to take responsibility for this, too."

"Said boy bailed," Steven replied.

Red glared at him again.

"Steven, honey," Kitty shunned. "You're not helping."

"Sorry, I couldn't help putting another 'said boy' in there," he smiled, which faded quickly as Red came toward him. "I got it, man. Can it or a foot in my ass."

"Great," Bob shrieked. "Now, I'm… mad. You're going to be a single mother. Do you realize how hard that is nowadays? How are you going to raise this baby? What do you have to say for yourself?"

Melissa really had no idea how to respond, so she answered with the first thing that came to mind, "Well…the good news is I've learned my lesson and I'm never having sex ever again. Oh, and I should probably go to my room for a while and think about what I've done."

Kitty looked petrified, "Oh, honey, no…"

As Bob yelled, it seemed as though steam was rising from the top of his horrible afro. "That's it," he wailed. "You're grounded for the rest of your life! And I don't want to hear you say anything about s—you know what I said about the S word. You're never to be in the same room with Hyde again!"

"Hot damn, praise the Lord," Red shouted in excitement. "I haven't been this excited since I shot down my first Japanese fighter plane while I was in Okinawa."

"But, Uncle Bob," Melissa cried.

"No buts. Now, go to your room," Bob interrupted, pointing to the Red and Kitty's living room.

"Ummm…Uncle Bob," she raised a brow.

"Don't, 'Uncle Bob' me," he spat. "Get moving."

"We don't live here," she finished, "and I don't have my own room, either."

Hyde nodded. "She's got you on that one."

Bob's face relaxed for a brief minute. "Oh, right," he said, frowning again. "You know what I mean. Go to home, go to Donna's room, and think about what you've done. You're lucky that I'm not going to tell Cliff and Lisa just yet."

Melissa's eyes widened, and she gasped, "That's so not…Fine! Fine! Fine!" She stood angrily and stalked out the sliding door.

Red, Kitty, and Bob stood staring at one another.

"You can't be serious," Hyde laughed, breaking the silence, "she's lucky you don't tell her parents? What kind of a threat is that when you can't even find them?"

"Steven," Red groaned. "Just go down to the basement."

Hyde nodded, rose from his chair, and started walking toward the basement door.

"And Steven," he added without turning around.

Hyde stopped in his tracks, "Yeah, Red."

"You can put that beer back in the refrigerator."

"Oh, hello, sweetheart," Kitty smiled as Melissa slipped through the sliding door. "Does Bob know that you're here?"

"Uncle Bob's let me out on good behavior," she replied, returning the smile and taking a seat at the kitchen table.

"So I take it he's not at home?" Kitty asked, opening the refrigerator door and retrieving a pitcher of orange juice. She poured a glass, walked over to the table, and sat both items on the table.

"Yeah," Melissa nodded. "He's gone to the grocery store to get some stuff to make sandwiches for lunch, dinner…and breakfast tomorrow."

"Oh," Kitty said, frowning, "you must be starving. I can re-heat the left over casserole from last night, so you just sit there and drink your juice." She hurriedly walked over and took a giant, mustard-color bowl from the refrigerator and then turned on the oven. "And after you eat, you can go down to the basement," she giggled, putting a finger to her lips. "It'll be our little secret."

Melissa was moaning and groaning as she attempted to make it down the basement stairs. She felt as though she were going to be sick. She cursed herself for having finished that whole bowl of casserole. She could have just said no when Mrs. Forman kept insisting that it was essential for her, "little tummy to be so full that it feels like it's going to pop" because she was now eating for two people. She let out another groan as she walked down another step.

"What's that noise?" Eric asked as he cut his eyes toward the ceiling.

Fez muted the television and everyone stopped what they were doing to listen.

"Dude, it sounds like you're mom and dad are getting it on," Kelso laughed, listening some more, "on the stairs! Your mom and dad are making it on the stairs! Wow, man, your mom's a moaner."

Eric grimaced. "Kelso that's just disgusting."

"I think it is beautiful, Eric," Fez grinned. "In my country, a woman's moan of pleasure is considered a sacred gift while love making."

Steven glanced up from his magazine.

"In this country, Fez," he began. "If the woman moaning is your mother, it's considered disturbing…" He closed his magazine and listened to the sounds coming from above them and then added, "But you see, this moan sounds more like groaning. Ten bucks says Red's lying on Kitty's hair again, and she's too afraid to say something out of fear that it'll break his concentration."

"Guys," Eric shrieked. "Can we please not talk about my parents' sex life?!"

"Oh, my God," Melissa whined as she finally reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Oh, it's just the whale," Kelso rolled his eyes.

"If I wasn't so full right now," Melissa grumbled, sitting on the couch next to him, "I'd hit you or at least think of a wicked burn that would take you ten minutes to realize that it was a wicked burn."

Michael looked at her dumbfounded, "Huh?"

"That was like an ingenious indirect burn, man," Hyde laughed.

"So, Melissa," Eric began. "Like…umm…You're here because?"

"To see Steven," she replied.

"Well," he smiled sarcastically. "You've seen him, so off you go."

"Forman," Hyde spoke up, casually looking at his magazine. "Let her go. She's not touching anything, man."

"Yeah, she is," Kelso disagreed, "her big, fat, whale butt is on the couch."

Steven shook his head.

"I thought you were grounded," Fez began, turning the volume up on the television. "You, not to mention Hyde, will get into trouble if Bob finds out."

"I would like to see what he'd do," Melissa said in a huff, folding her arms. "The only thing he can really do is put me on a bus back to Hashlords and that's about it."

Hyde's brow raised in interest, "Hashlords? I'll have to visit there sometime. I bet they have great…brownies."

Eric giggled, "Hashlords."

"I bet Leo is from there," Fez laughed.

"He probably founded it," Melissa added, laughing as well.

"Okay," Kelso looked around at each person, "what's so funny about Hashlords?"

As the gang attempted to explain to Kelso the hilarity behind the name of Melissa's hometown, a thunderous sound of feet racing down the basement stairs distracted them.

"Missy, Bob's just pulled into your driveway," Kitty informed breathlessly.

"Oh, crap," Melissa cried, jolting up from the couch. "I've got to get home!"

"I thought you didn't care about Bob catching you here?" Steven questioned.

She nodded. "I said I didn't care about it but it doesn't mean I want him to actually catch me. He'll probably freak out and put a padlock on the bedroom door."

Melissa thanked Mrs. Forman for lunch and bolted out the basement door.

Steven had not seen Melissa in about three weeks, not that he was at all worried or that he cared, but it he had to admit that her not breathing down his neck was a bit strange. Now that the two were on speaking terms again, he had expected to have her sticking to him like a blood-sucking leech every time she got an opportunity to sneak out of the house. He picked up a Playboy magazine, muted the television, and tried to focus his thoughts elsewhere. When naked pictures of beautiful women weren't enough to divert his attention, Steven knew he had a problem.

A solo-circle was an alternative option; however, he had already preformed five solo-circles in the last week. Hyde didn't want to make a habit out of it. Besides, circles were totally lame without his friends. He then began to wonder what would happen if Melissa was initiated into the sacred circle. He remembered Jackie's first circle, which had been interested to say the least. Steven laughed to himself at the thought of Melissa being as high as the Empire State Building.

"Steven!" Red yelled as he crouched down at the top of the basement stairs.

Hyde jerked slightly and his daydream dissolved to him sitting in the basement.

"Yeah, man," he responded.

"Kitty's been calling you for the last fifteen minutes," Red snapped. "You have a phone call. Get off your ass… and quit acting like you're on dope."

Hyde waited until he heard his footsteps retreat and followed up the stairs.

"There," Red gestured to the mustard-colored kitchen phone on the wall by the door. He gave Steven aggravated stare before disappearing into the living room.

He stared at the phone and hesitated a moment, remembering the last time he had had a telephone call. It had been from his mother, Edna, telling him that she was abandoning him for an on-the-go life with some truck driver.

"Yeah," he answered.

"Stevey!"

Hyde arched a brow, "Missy?"

"I've got no time to explain. He'll be back any minute," Melissa continued. Her voice was at a slight whisper. "Can you come over? The spare key is beneath the mat."

He stood confused and had no time to question her before she hung up.

"Whatever," he shrugged and hung up the phone.

Steven's better instincts told him to go back down into the basement and finish watching his television program, but he couldn't ignore that sound of desperation in Melissa's voice. That sudden twinge of empathy was more than he could stand. He growled under his breath and stormed out the sliding door.

His frustration had reached its peak by the time he had reached the Pinciotti's back door. Steven kicked up the door mat and retrieved the key. He rushed through the kitchen, into the living room, and up the stairs.

"Melissa, I hope you know that I'm missing Wonder Woman kicking ass in slow mo," Steven yelled as he stomped down the hallway toward Donna's room, "so if this isn't important I'm gonna be super pissed."

"You're here!" Melissa shouted happily from within the bedroom.

"What the hell is this, man?" he asked, jiggling the padlock that had been installed on Donna's door.

"It's Pinciotti Prison," she replied. "I'll explain later. Just get me out of here." Melissa listened for his response and heard nothing.

She banged on the door, "Steven, let me out. Let me out!"

"Cool it," he spat. "There's no way for me to get you out of there without a key, man. Where does Bob keep the key?"

"With him," she replied in dismay. "I'm going to go crazy if I stay in here any longer. Please, hurry!"

"Don't get your panties in a wad," he responded, walking back down the hallway. "Stay there. I'll be right back."

"Don't even think that you can go back to Wonder Woman while I'm trapped in here," she warned, banging her fists against the door again. "You'll live to regret it!"

"I doubt it," Steven grumbled as he walked slowly down the stairs while Melissa continued to yell his name.

Steven returned, within a few minutes, carrying Mr. Forman's screwdriver. He began to remove the screws of the hasp and carefully took it from the door. He looked at it momentarily and then tossed it to the floor.

"Free at last," she cried as Steven opened the door. "Thank God Almighty and Steven Hyde, I'm free at last."

He quickly stepped aside when he saw that she was ready to race into his arms.

"Yeah, that's wonderful. Can I go now?" he asked.

"Wait," Melissa tugged on his arm. "You came all this way."

"I live next door. That's not exactly long distance."

"I'll treat you at The Hub."

Hyde thought a moment. "That's cool. I could eat."

She smiled. "I have to tell you the real reason I called you over here."

"You're not gonna start telling me you love me and crap, are you?" he groaned.

"No," she replied, laughing. "I've got to use the bathroom!"

With that, Melissa took off down the hall for the nearest bathroom.

At The Hub, Melissa sat next to Steven at the gang's usual table. Steven eyeballed the tray of food as she began to unload each item. Two cheeseburgers with everything on them, one hot dog, two large fries, and a medium-sized cherry pop sat in front of her. He looked at the pile food and then to her.

"So, what are you going to eat?" she grinned innocently, handing Hyde his drink.

"Yeah," he cocked his head, "I'm not gonna pay for all that."

Steven scowled in disgust as he watched Melissa savagely bite into a burger.

"I didn't think you were actually serious about Bob and the locks on the doors," he said after moment as he watched in shock while she devoured a handful of fries.

Melissa swallowed her food. "He just put them on a few weeks ago. He caught me trying to sneak out, so he went down to the hardware store and started putting locks on every door in the house. The only place I'm allowed to go is school."

"That sucks, man," Steven tried to sound sympathetic, but ended up laughing.

"It's not funny," she pouted. "I mean, this morning he left and forgot to give me a bathroom break. I don't get how giving me a kidney infection is for my own good. I wish everybody would quit saying what's good for me."

"Yeah," he concurred, still laughing. "They told you that sex was a bad idea and look how well that worked out for you."

"Shut up," she giggled, hitting his arm lightly.

She paused for a moment and began to eat her other burger.

"So, what's been going on down at the basement?" she asked.

He shrugged. "It's the same as before. Donna's dating Casey. Forman's still pissed that Donna's dating Casey. Jackie's still annoying. Fez still grabs himself when he thinks nobody's looking…Oh, but Kelso did manage to shoot himself in the eye with a rubber band last week. That's something new."

"I really don't like Casey," Melissa frowned.

"He bought me a beer once," Hyde grinned, "so he's cool in my book."

"Besides being intelligent," she stated, "he's a lot like his brother. If she gets serious with this guy, she might end up…"

Steven was suddenly so uncomfortable that he was about two seconds away from removing his sunglasses and laying them on the table. He hated to see the pain across Melissa's face as she spoke. He arched a brow as that thought just struck him. Steven Hyde hated to see Melissa, of all the annoying people in his life, struggling to overcome her inner conflicts. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Like you," he unwillingly finished.

Melissa looked at him briefly with tears in her eyes as she forced an unconvincing smile. He could tell she was trying not trying cry in front of him again. If anything, this whole unfortunate event was teaching her that crying would never solve the problem.

"Yeah," she nodded, her head drooping down, "like me."

"Have you thought about what's next?" he asked.

Melissa looked past his tented frames and into his eyes. She was stunned by the amount of seriousness in his voice. The Steven she knew possessed a sarcastic tone of voice, and to her knowledge, had never been serious about anything in his entire life.

"I honestly don't know," she replied. "I don't think I'll be a very good mother."

"As long as you don't leave it at the grocery store or abandon it two months shy of its eighteenth birthday," he said, attempting to cheer her up, "then you'll be a pretty good mom. Though, my mom abandoning me was the best thing she ever did."

"Be serious," she giggled slightly. "I have nothing to offer this child. I have no family, no father figure for it, and most of all, no stability."

"I could always get you some part-time work at the Fotohut," he offered without thinking. "It would be easy. You'd get paid to just sit around and do nothing. And when Leo starts talking about fruitcake or whatever, you can sneak money from the cash drawer like I do all the time, so technically you'll make above minimum wage."

"That'd be totally awesome," she grinned. "You think Leo would go for it?"

"If you want the job, it's yours," he replied. "Leo would hardly know you're there. He forgets I work there almost on a daily basis."

"Well, a job's secure then," she nodded, marking that off of her mental check-list.

"What next?"

"Transportation will be an issue, especially when I have to go to the doctor."

"No big deal. I can take you and drop you off."

"You don't mind?"

"Oh, I mind, but you have no other choice. If I let Leo take you, you'll probably end up at some veterinarian hospital in Canada."

"That's possible," she laughed.

"So, we've got that much figured out at least," Steven said, feeling rather accomplished with himself for having so many useful suggestions all at once.

Melissa nodded. "But we still haven't figured out what to do about Uncle Bob and his fruity-imprisoning-me thing? He'll never willingly let you come within two feet of me, either."

"I can always keep a screwdriver in my back pocket," he answered.

"I can't do this, Stevey," she let out a depressing sigh. "If I keep having to answer to my uncle and try to raise a child when I'm still a child myself, I just…I can't."

He nodded understandingly, and said, "Yeah, guess so, but it's your choice, man. If you think you can't do this because of you or your uncle, then don't. But don't bail out on the kid, at least find it a good home."

"I would so love to give you a compliment right about now," she smiled, stealing a drink of his soda, "but then it would ruin this unusual moment between us."

"Good," he snarled as she handed him back the cup, "keep those disgusting and totally unacceptable praises to yourself." He pushed the cup back in her direction, adding, "I don't want that now that you're drools been on it."

Melissa laughed and the two stood. She walked over and threw away her trash.

Steven stopped just as they reached the door. "Are you coming to the basement?"

"No," she shook her head. "I think I have some things to take care of."

He sighed, following her out the door.

"Why do I get the feeling that you're gonna drag me along?"

Melissa and Steven were sitting at the kitchen table when Bob returned home from his "jog," which was code to say that he was out attempting to pick up pretty woman in the neighborhood.

"What the heck are you doing out of your room, young lady?" he questioned as he walked through the door. His eyes narrowed on Steven, adding, "And what the heck are you doing here, Hyde? I specifically told you to stay away from my niece."

Steven rolled his eyes. "Believe me, Bob," he reassured, rattling something beneath the table, "If I wasn't handcuffed to this table right now, I would."

"Stevey," she reminded. "This is only so you won't try to run again. I'll let you go soon but we both need to face our fears right now."

"I'm not afraid of anything," he snapped. "I just don't like the idea of ending up in the morgue…wearing a freakin' table leg like a charm bracelet, man."

Melissa stood. "Before you start overreacting and your double chin starts jiggling rapidly in rage," she began, gesturing to the chair she had occupied, "have a seat. It's time we talk."

Bob looked reluctant and slowly took a seat.

"Thanks," she sighed, looking Steven, "Okay, Steven, you tell him."

"Come again?" he raised a brow. "Why do I have to tell him?"

"Well, most of this was your idea," she replied.

"So," he retorted, "you're the one with the baby."

"Someone better say something," Bob snapped, "…And it better not be about the two of you getting married, either. If that's the case, I'm getting Red over here."

"Gross," Steven snarled. "Just hurry up and tell him, Missy, or I'm gonna hurl."

She nodded with another sigh. "Look, Uncle Bob, I understand that you're upset with me and you have ever right to be, but locking me in the house cannot change what has been done. Stevey is not a bad influence on me. I brought all of this on myself and I'm accepting that."

"How can you be okay with that?" Bob questioned, forcing a laugh. "You're too young to be raising a baby."

"I know," she replied as she began to pace. "I never said that I was considering keeping this baby. I'm still thinking this entire thing over. Whatever I decide will be the appropriate decision when that time comes. From this moment on, I would like you to recognize that I'm an adult."

"You're not an adult," Bob persisted, slightly upset.

"She kind of is, man," Steven disagreed. "She's got to be to have a kid."

"He's right," she nodded firmly, stopping, "and as my first task into becoming an adult, I'll be taking a job at the Fotohut."

"You're not going to drop out of school," Bob frowned, crossing his arms.

"Of course not," she smiled. "I'll do both. And as of right now, I want you to say that I am no longer grounded. With your permission, I would like to continue seeing Steven and the gang. I have a great group of people supporting me."

Bob was still visibly upset, but he knew that his arguments had been defeated. His face softened and he sighed.

He stared at her a moment and then said, "Well, okay, but I want you to promise one thing before I let you loose."

"Anything," Melissa shouted, jumping up and down.

He stood and pulled her into his arms.

"Don't let Kelso anywhere near you and the baby with anything on fire or sharp objects in his hands," he said, kissing her forehead.


	15. Chapter 14

Hyde pretended not to be aware of the astonished glances that were cast in his direction. He couldn't have stopped himself if he tried. It slipped from his lips so casually when she entered the basement door. He looked up from his magazine.

"Hey, Mel," he greeted, "how's my favorite pregnant chick and her other half?"

"Did he just say that?" Eric gasped, staring wide-eyed at Donna.

Melissa smile weakly and took a seat on the couch.

"The baby's fine, but I'm not," she replied. "I'm tired, I have headaches, I keep throwing up a lot…and there's something weird going on with my boobs."

"Whoa," Kelso intervened. "We don't need to know anything about your boobs."

"I do," Fez said eagerly.

"Did he just refer to Melissa as, 'my favorite chick'?" Jackie shrilled.

Steven scowled. "She knew what I meant, man."

"I have my first doctor's appointment on Friday," Melissa informed, ignoring the others in the room. "It's kind of exciting."

"I'm guessing you need a lift?"

"Yes."

"At what time?"

"Three in the afternoon."

"Damn it, I'm asleep at that time."

"Well," Melissa laughed. "I guess you'll have to set your alarm."

"Stop it! Stop it, right now!" Eric shrieked. "Will you listen to yourself, Hyde?"

"Eric's right," Donna shuttered. "All this is just weird."

"What?" Steven raised a brow. "It's not like any of you will take her."

"I'll take her," Kelso volunteered.

Melissa and Steven looked at Michael in shock.

"Take her back to ocean," he finished, laughing hysterically, "Burn!"

Fez gave him a puzzled look, "Kelso, whales don't make doctor's appointments."

"Hyde, if you're going to continue to act…human, I think you should leave the basement," Eric suggested. "I just can't take this side of you."

"Get bent, Forman," Steven snapped, rising from his chair. "Mel, let's go to the driveway. We'll play some ball."

"That's cool," she said, getting up and following him out the door.

Melissa sat on the hood of the Vista Cruiser as Steven stood in Red and Kitty's driveway playing basketball. He seemed rather content with her being around him more these days, which must have been uncomfortable for him. She eyed him in curiosity and weighted the possible option of him being a father. However, she had already decided that she was far too immature to take on the responsibility of raising a child. Still, she was fascinated by the thought of him raising a child.

Steven turned to see Melissa staring at him with her head cocked to one side. "Quit staring at me like that, man," he snapped. "What are you looking at?"

"Oh, nothing," she replied, shaking her head out of thought.

"You feel okay?" he asked as he caught the ball in mid-air and walked over to stand in front of her. "If you're gonna throw up, go behind a bush or something, man."

She laughed slightly, "I was just thinking about how much things will change when this child is born. I don't think I'm ready for children yet, so I think it'd be best to give it up for adoption. Give the child a chance to have a real family."

Hyde let the ball drop from his hands and he took a seat next to her.

"I thought you said you wouldn't make a good mother?" he asked with a smile.

She turned to him, her brow furrowed. "Huh?"

"I've never really had a mom," he explained, "but in my opinion, a good mom always thinks about what's best for a kid. That's what you're doing, isn't it?"

Melissa thought a moment and smiled. "That's nice of you to say."

"Don't get used to it," he shrugged. "I'm not that rainbow-lovin,' pony-ridin,' buy-you-presents, kind of nice guy. I'm just saying something nice because it's not cool to insult pregnant chicks."

"I see," she smiled, "so I, like, get a Get-Out-of-Burn Free Card for a while?"

"Exactly," he replied, getting up. "Are you coming to work today?"

"Depends on if I can keep my lunch down or not," she answered.

"Well," he shrugged, "if you can't, I'll get Leo to send some extra money."

With that, he turned and walked down the driveway to his black El Camino. Melissa watched him get into the driver's seat and waved goodbye as he sped off down the street toward the Fotohut.

Leo was leaning against the counter as he and Steven played Monopoly. They hadn't gotten very far with the game because Leo was still confused about how a little blue pawn could own a piece of land.

"This game's confusing, dude," Leo laughed. "Why would my blue pawn need to put a hotel there? I work at the Fotohut, man. I don't have the money to stay there."

"It's a game Leo," Steven explained. "You have the money for a hotel. Every time my piece lands on your property with a hotel on it, I have to pay you the rent listed on your card."

Leo laughed again. "But, you don't live with me and my pawn, man."

"Leo, man," he sighed. "You don't live in the hotel. You own it."

"I own a hotel," Leo exclaimed, looking confused, "No way! Why am I working here, man? I should quit. I bet I'm, like, a millionaire somewhere, dude."

Steven laughed slightly, shaking his head. "Maybe we should quit the game for a while, man, and tend to the costumers. I gotta bring home some extra money today."

"Sure, dude," Leo nodded, "just take some money from the drawer after I leave."

"Thanks, man," Steven patted his boss on the back.

"So, how's that stalker chick?" Leo asked after a moment, bobbing his head.

"Pregnant," Steven replied, leaning out the drive-thru window and taking money from a costumer as he handed her order to her. He looked at the cash, shrugged, and crammed the money into his back pocket.

"Awesome, man," Leo jovially smiled. "Congratulations on being a dad. I was a dad once and it was awesome until the kid split a few years ago."

"I didn't get her that way," Steven frowned.

"She cheated on you, man," Leo shook his head. "That's a bummer."

"We're not together, dude."

"Really? I thought you liked her?"

"Melissa and me," Steven laughed in denial. "That wouldn't happen in a million years. I like her, but not that way."

"What are you gonna name the kid, Dad?" Leo asked, forgetting that Steven wasn't the father. "Name it something awesome like…Leo."

"What if it's a girl?" Steven asked, raising a brow.

"That's easy, man," he answered with a chuckle. "Name her Leona."

Hyde gave a slight smile, which quickly faded.

"Doesn't really matter what she names it," he said, putting away the game pieces. "After she has it, she's giving it up for adoption."

"Too bad, man," Leo frowned, "Kids are a blessing, man. You'd be an awesome dad, man. If I had a dad, I'd want him to be like you, man."

"Thanks, man," Steven smiled.

"Yeah," he grinned, "and when stalker chick has the baby, you guys can come and stay at my hotel on Vermont Avenue. I'll give you a family discount…Hey, maybe Vermont is where I'm a millionaire, man!"

Steven shook his head, laughing. "I have to take stalker chick to the doctor on Friday," he informed after a moment. "Do you think you could cover for me?"

"Sure," Leo replied, looking confused as he took off his jean jacket and handed it to him, "but it's not even cold in here, man."

"I meant give me the day off," Hyde laughed, handing him back the jacket. "She'll need the day off, too, obviously."

"Okay, cool, man," Leo nodded. "Hey, can I have the week off, too?"

Hyde didn't question him and simply shrugged. "Sure. Whatever."

"Thanks, man," Leo grinned with a sigh of relief. "I was afraid you'd like fire me or something because I'm out so much, man. I really owe you."

"Yeah," Steven agreed. "How about twenty bucks and we call it even?"

"Cool, man," he laughed, opening the cash register cash drawer. He grabbed some money from it and then handed it to him.

"Thanks, Leo," Hyde smiled as he counted the money and then stuck it in his back pocket. "I'll see you in a week or two, man."

Knowing that he could leave early without Leo saying anything, Hyde patted his boss on the back and bid him good afternoon before walking out the door.

"Me being a dad," he laughed, walking across the parking lot, "that's priceless."

Steven stood in the waiting room of the doctor's office. He held a scowl on his face as he folded his arms across his chest. He had agreed to give Melissa a ride and even wait for her while she paid a visit to the doctor but he had never said that he would go back there with her. He wasn't the father; therefore, he didn't see the purpose of going with her and holding her hand, not that he would hold her hand to begin with.

"Please," she pouted, trying her best to get him to break.

"No!"

"Please, I don't want to go back there alone."

"A ride is all you're getting from me. I'm not playing house with you, so stop!"

"Please…"

"No!"

"Please, please!"

"It's not like he's going to try to get you to sell the baby on the black market."

"You don't know that!"

"I'm still not going."

"If you were my best friend, you would go."

"Well, it's a good thing I'm not then."

"Steven!" Melissa shrilled.

"That Jackie Burkhart shrill doesn't work for you," he said, rolling his eyes, "and that's still not going to work on me. I'll be sitting right her when you come out."

He adamantly took a seat in a chair and looked up at her with a smirk.

Melissa sat squirming on the waiting table as she attempted to cover herself with the generic hospital gown she was given to wear. The last time she had shown this much skin she had been coming out of a uterus herself.

"I don't see why I have to wear this stupid thing," she pouted, blushing.

Steven only looked at her with a sour expression as he sat in the waiting chair, which was located across from her.

"I don't want to see anymore of you than I'm now," he grumbled, "so don't turn around without warning me first, man."

There was a light knock at the door before an older woman came walking through the door. She was short in height, rather small in size as well. She had her grayish- blonde hair in a Dorothy Hamill wedge-style cut. She reached into the pocket of her jacket for a pen. She glanced over the papers in her hand and marked something down on the files.

"Melissa Melrose Pinciotti," she smiled, looking up from the papers and extending her hand, "Hi, I'm Dr. Jarvis."

" Melrose!" Steven roared, nearly falling out of his chair.

Melissa blushed again, glaring at him.

Steven responded by putting his fist in front of his mouth in an effort to muffle his laughs, but that was to no avail, so he continuously cleared his throat each time he felt the urge to let go. He began to periodically snicker under his breath.

"Don't mind him," Melissa gestured. "He's just ill-mannered and uneducated."

Dr. Jarvis chuckled. "Okay, Ms. Pinciotti, why don't you lay back? Let's see how far along you are, shall we?"

Melissa complied, lying down on the bench. Dr. Jarvis lifted up the gown, which was Hyde's signal to move unless he wanted a good view of her underwear. He quickly rose, went to the far corner of the room, and turned to face the wall. Dr. Jarvis lightly pressed her hands against Melissa's firm lower abdomen. She nodded her head, answering her mental questions. Taking the stethoscope from around her neck, she placed the earpieces to her ears and the chestpiece to Melissa's stomach.

"Ahhh," she smiled. "There we go. It looks like you're about seven weeks. Would you like to take a listen?"

Melissa looked confused, unsure exactly what she was listening for.

"Let's sit up," Dr. Jarvis said, helping Melissa to a sitting position. She repositioned the chestpiece on Melissa's stomach and put the earpieces to her ears.

A steady rhythmic thump echoed into Melissa's ears. It was like a beautiful symphony without an orchestra. She gasped in complete awe.

Steven turned around just in time to see one tear roll down Melissa's left cheek.

"Stevey," she whimpered, "you've got to come listen to this."

He didn't hesitate, much to his surprise, and walked over to join her. He sat next to her on the bench and held one ear piece to his ear. With his head pressed closely next to hers, he listened. He wasn't the type of guy to let effeminate things like what he was hearing affect him, but for some reason this experience did.

"Again, congratulations," Dr. Jarvis smiled. "Mom and Dad, what you're hearing is a nice, strong heartbeat from your baby."

"Whoa," Hyde wailed, jerking away from the table. "Whoa! I'm doing the time, but I didn't do the crime."

Melissa frowned. Steven always seemed to ruin the most memorable moments.

"I'm sorry," Dr. Jarvis seemed confused, "but I assumed…"

"Whatever," Hyde intervened, looking at Melissa. "Whenever you're done in here, I'll be the waiting room." He turned on his heel and left the room.

Steven cleared his throat to break the silence as he and Melissa rode home. She hadn't spoken the whole ride. He figured that she was still upset with him about his little scene at the doctor's office.

"About what happened back there," he began, clearing his throat again.

"Just so you know," she interrupted, turning up her nose, "you're a real fart-face. And I've decided to keep the baby."

He scoffed. "That's real mature…Wait. What?"

"I'm keeping the baby," she repeated as if that were some insult to him.

"That's cool," he said, trying not to smile.

"Yeah," she grinned. "I know."

A long moment of silence fell between them again.

She took a deep breath, "Hey, Stevey?"

"What?"

"I've been thinking since we left the doctor's…Can I ask you something?"

"If it's about us actually getting married, forget it."

"No," she laughed nervously.

"What then?"

"I was wondering…What would you think of…Would you mind…Steven, will you be the father of my unborn child?"

Hyde swerved violently and drove the El Camino off the road.

"Damn it, Missy!" he wailed, jerking the steering wheel as he tried to get the car back in the lane. Car horns blared from behind him. He cast a glance in her direction, and added, "Never say crap like that when I'm driving, man! Are you trying to get all of us killed?!"

It took him several moments to regain his composer.

"I was just thinking that since I have no one to help me raise it," she explained with enthusiasm. "What better person to help me than you? You have no father, so that makes you a perfect father figure because you'd want this child to have what you didn't."

"No way," he refused. "I'm in no shape to look after a snot-nosed kid, man."

"You look after Eric," she pointed out. "He's kinda like a baby."

"Yeah," he nodded, "but Forman can change his own diapers."

"Stevey," she pouted. "You said it yourself that you're all I've got."

"Yeah, helping you out, not raising your kid."

"I'm not exactly just going to fork over this responsibility to anyone. I want someone helping me that I can trust."

"You trust Fez. Get him to do it."

"His last name wouldn't fit on the birth certificate."

"So?"

Melissa slid closer to him and proceeded to pout in his ear, "Pretty please."

"No."

"Please. At least think about it."

"Fine," Steven snapped, clutching the steering wheel.

She waited a few seconds before asking, "Have you thought about it yet?"

"No."

"Your answer's still, 'no' or, 'no' you've haven't thought about it?"

"No, no, no, and here's a hell no."

"You're making this harder than it should be."

"I just don't want to screw it up, okay?!" he yelled at last.

"Stevey," she smiled. "You couldn't possibly screw this child up because I'll be right in behind you fixing everything that you do wrong."

"Fine!" he wailed. "I'll be a father to the stupid kid if we can have fifteen minutes of silence for the rest of the drive…and it better not call me, 'dad,' either!"

Melissa smiled in victory and stared straight ahead.

Hyde felt a grin emerging on his face and unfortunately he couldn't stop it.

Steven sat in the circle with his friends later that evening. Surrounded in smoke and the odor of incense, he began to preach to them about his latest revelation about life. He leaned forward in his chair, staring from person to person as he spoke.

"I'm telling you," he began, "the heartbeat is a powerful thing, man. It's like the rhythm of life. Thump. Thump. Thump. You see, it's got a beat to it, man. I've learned something, too." He paused, laughing, "Melissa has the stupidest middle name in the world… Melrose!"

"Okay, but, Hyde," Kelso began, looking confused as he pointed his finger in Steven's direction, "don't whales eat their young? I mean, what would happen if Missy got hungry during delivery? She'd be, like, a person who eats people. That's so weird." He laughed at his own nonsense, which seemed to make perfect sense to him.

" Melrose," Eric snickered, "that's nothing compared to Myra, right Kelso?"

"Hey!" Michael wailed, "Leave my girly middle name out of this, Eric!"

"I knew a man named Myra," Fez declared. "Wait…that was a woman who looked like a man, but she was a very pretty man…Did I just say that out loud?"

"Missy told me something else," Steven admitted. "She wants me to be the dad, man. I get to raise a kid and teach him the true meanings of life …sex, beer, chicks, more beer, and Rock 'N Roll! Fatherhood will kick ass, man!"


	16. Chapter 15

Everyone gasped in astonishment. Steven Hyde had gotten up out of his chair the moment Melissa had expressed discomfort. Eric looked from Hyde to the pillow that now rested beneath Melissa's feet, which had been propped up on the coffee table. His best friend had officially become a servant, a willful servant. It wasn't natural for Steven to perform tasks out of kindness, especially without being asked. Melissa had simply said that her feet were hurting, not, "Steven, my feet hurt. If you prop them up, I'll sneak you a beer."Eric would've propped them up for a beer.

"This is just too weird," he shrieked, backing away from the couch.

Donna, too, backed away from the couch. "Okay, who the hell are you, and what have you done with Hyde?"

Steven looked at them with a raised brow."Mellow out, man."

"Steven…" Jackie stared in awe. "You just did something…nice. God must be having an off day or something because that is so not you."

"This is like history," Kelso wailed.

"Yes," Fez nodding, hanging his head in shame. "Hyde is whipped like the lions of my home country."

"There's nothing going on between us, okay?" he laughed, shrugging it off as he stood and walked to the freezer for a Popsicle.

Melissa nodded. "He's right. There's nothing going on between…Hey Steven, would you get me one of those?"

He walked over, handed her the other half his Popsicle, and sat down.

"Thanks honey," she grinned.

"No problem," he said casually, turning back to Eric.

Donna shrilled, pointing furiously, "See! Did you guys just see what happened there?She called you 'honey' and you weren't even grossed out."

"Dude," Kelso laughed with excitement, sitting on the back of the couch, "you can make him do tricks. Hey, make him get up again and get me a Popsicle."

"Shut up... Myra," Steven snapped, pushing him backwards.

"Owww," Michael cried as he hit the floor. "That was my freakin' eye, Hyde."

"I can't stay here with these two, strange, weird… strangers," Donna exclaimed.

"We can go to my house," Jackie suggested excitedly.

"I'd rather jam rusty needles in my eye," was Eric's response.

"Let's go to Jackie's," Michael whimpered, standing up and holding his eye. "She's got a first-aid kit. I seriously think Hyde knocked my eye out of socket, man. Besides, what if they start frenching, anyway?"

Donna ran, shrieking, out of the door at the thought.The others followed.

Steven let out a hearty laugh a few minutes after his friends had vacated the basement. He slapped the hand that Melissa held out to him.

"I think that went well," she giggled.

"Did you see the look on Forman's face? That's twice in a row," he howled. "See, I told you they'd freak out if I started doing crap like that for you, man."

She frowned, "But would you do stuff if they aren't around.Like now?"

"Not on your life," he replied, turning up the television volume.

"What about for the baby then?" she asked.

He thought a moment. "For the baby, I'll make a one-time only exception."

Melissa seemed satisfied with that reply and turned to face the television.

"Oh," he began, picking his magazine up off the top of the coffee table, "I'm supposed to casually ask you about who you would like at a surprise baby shower Mrs. Forman is throwing for you and whatever."

She raised a brow. "You really think everyone would come to a baby shower?"

"For you, probably not," he replied, "but Mrs. Forman would force them to come, so I don't think it matters."

Melissa clapped her hands jovially. "This is so exciting. You're helping plan my baby shower. Hey, would you like to help in deciding names for the baby, too?"

"Cool it," he shrieked, throwing up his hands. "I'm not planning a thing, so don't start getting mommy-and-me with me, okay? I'm just getting some names and that's it. Oh, yeah, I could care less what you name the kid just don't keep up the family tradition and name it Pinciotti."

"I was thinking about," she continued on, ignoring his decline, "Tanya Christine Hyde or Holly Christine Hyde, if it's a girl. If it's a boy…"

"If you're naming it after me, I'll kiss your ass, man," Steven barked. "By this kid taking my name, it's like I'm responsible for it or something."

"Stevey," she laughed slightly, "if you're being a father figure, then I think it's fair for the child to take your name, don't you?"

"Uh, no," he replied. "In twenty years, I'll probably be in jail. I'll become the laughing stock of my jail block because I'm associated with a goody-goody, unwillingly adopted, kid. I'm not about to have my name disgraced like that, man."

"Now you're just exaggerating," she giggled with a dismissive gesture. "You and I both know that it'll only be ten years before you're in jail, and the child will be too young to make you a laughing stock of your jail block."

"Fine," he grumbled in defeat, "do I have to buy something for this thing?"

Melissa smiled, stood, and actually sat on Steven's lap.

"Of course not," she grinned, pinching his cheek.

"This is not cool, man," Steven scowled, jerking away."Grab my cheeks again and I'll break your legs."

"Oh, Stevey," she chuckled, pulling his head toward her chest.

Hyde grumbled as he struggled to free himself without shoving her to the floor. He was gentler with her than he had been previously. Of course, he would have never tried to physically harm her, but if she were to lose the child because of him, he wasn't sure how he would react. He ceased movement as he came to the conclusion that this child, which wasn't even his to start with, would become the center of his universe the instant it is born, yet here he was still upset with the idea of the child baring his name.

Red and Kitty's living room was crowded as Leo, Bob, and the children gathered for the not-so-surprising baby shower. Melissa sat next to Steven on the gold-colored sofa and smiled pleasantly as everyone mumbled amongst themselves. The gang, of course, didn't seem thrilled to be there.They felt more like sitting in a cloud of smoke for an hour or two as apposed to being at a social function.

"Okay," Kitty giggled happily, tapping her martini glass full of peach schnapps. "Let's start giving those gifts before I'm all out of schnapps and finger foods."

"Like, I'll go first, man," Leo grinned, handing Melissa a dome-shaped gift wrapped in newspaper. "I think I brought this newspaper thing for you, man, but I can't remember what it is, man."

Melissa grinned and began to open his gift. Steven furrowed his brow in confusion as he stared from Leo to the half-eaten, for lack of a better noun, thing that sat in her lap.

"Leo, man, is that a fruitcake?" he asked after a moment.

"Dude, so that's what I did with my dessert the other day," Leo laughed. "I wouldn't try to eat that, man. I think it has been wrapped for a while."

Melissa forced a smile and sat the deformed cake on top of the coffee table.

"Well, that's..." Kitty chuckled, "that's…sweet.Okay, Michael, do you have something to give Melissa?"

"Here," Kelso grumbled, tossing Melissa's present from his seat at the piano.

Melissa smiled slightly as she peeked inside the bag.

"Kelso, you brought shampoo, towels, and soap," she raised a quizzical brow.

"Duh," he scoffed, rolling his eyes. "You said this was a baby shower. How else is the baby supposed to shower without stuff to shower with?"

"Kelso, you were supposed to bring presents for the baby," Steven spat. "That's what a baby shower is. It's not an actual shower, you moron."

"Well, then why don't they call it a baby-presents party?You know, it's no wonder people don't show up for these things. The names are so retarded."

"A burnt out light bulb doesn't come any brighter than you, Kelso," Red interjected as he sat in his pea-soup colored chair and read the paper.

Kelso's present was preceded by Jackie's, which shockingly enough was a self- portrait. She claimed that, "it would give the baby something beautiful to look at."

Melissa stared at the last of her presents with a look of disappointment.

" Fez," she scorned, holding up a basket that was filled with products similar to what Michael had given her earlier. "You could've at least gotten a bit creative."

"It is not my fault," he pouted defensively. "This was my first American baby shower. Kelso, you said…"

Michael was quick to intervene, giving his friend a pat on the back. "Don't sweat it, Fez. It was an honest mistake and could've happened to the best of us."

Kitty let out an excited giggle. "Oh, you've got one more present, honey. Oh, this is going to be wonderful."

By this point, she had consumed every last drop of her peach schnapps and was slightly impaired. "Red, why don't you come and give me a hand?" she asked, disappearing into the dining room.

Mr. Forman looked up briefly from his paper, yet made no attempt to offer assistance. "Ah, cripes," he grumbled as he heard what sounded like glass breaking, followed by Kitty's drunken laugh. He rolled his eyes and rose from his chair.

Red returned, carrying a white baby cradle and trying to keep Kitty steady.

Eric gasped as if his heart had just been ripped from his chest. "Dad, you're giving away my baby cradle?"

Red didn't respond for a moment as he sat the cradle next to Melissa. He turned to his son and replied, "Well, Eric, it's not like you're going to be having kids anytime soon." He chuckled, walking back over to his chair, "Hell, son, you screwed up any chance you had when you broke up with Donna."

"Man, Eric, that's two wicked burns in one sentence," Kelso laughed. "That's, like…a compound burn!"

Melissa's face lit up at the sight of the freshly painted cradle. "Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Forman it's so beautiful. Thank you so much."

"See," Kitty shouted, shaking a finger at the kitchen door where one of the three blurry Reds stood, "I told you, Red, I said she would appreciate a good cradle and you said she wouldn't." She laughed, "Who wants more schnapps?"

Mr. Forman rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to his newspaper. "No, Kitty," he flatly disregarded, "Eric, go guard the liquor cabinet from your mother."

Melissa turned to everyone and smiled. "Thank you guys for coming. You're gifts were all…unique, but very much appreciated. I can't use the majority of them for the baby, but, hey, it's the thought that counts."

"That's true, man," Leo said with his mouth full of food."Who brought the fruitcake, man?It's pretty good, dude."

"Pretending that we've all had a good time has been a blast," Eric clasped his hands together, "but I'd much rather be in the basement, so come on guys." The gang, except for Melissa, had started toward the kitchen until Kitty stopped them at the door.

"Hold on, kids," she exclaimed distraught, literally throwing her body against the door. "Why be in such a hurry? I worked really hard on this party and you kids are going to stay and enjoy it. At least finish the finger sandwiches. It took a long time to write everyone's name in mustered, so you all are going to sit down and eat them! My creative decorations aren't going into the trash.Sit! Sit! Sit!"

"But, mom," Eric groaned.

"For God's sake, Eric," Red barked. "Listen to your mother before she goes into one of her menopausal conniption fits."

Grumbling, the children returned back to their seats.

Kitty giggled, glancing at each person. "See, this is fun. Oh, Steven, honey, I noticed that you didn't give Melissa a present. Have you already given her one?"

Suddenly, the attention was on him. Hyde could feel the intense gazes of anticipation and he kept silent a moment in order to heighten the suspense.

"That's because I didn't get her one," he replied.

Kitty frowned. "Oh, honey, why not?"

"You see, Mrs. Forman, I'm not a gift-giving kind of guy.Plus, she said I didn't have to get her anything, so yeah."

Everyone looked at Steven a moment and burst into fits of laughter.

"You, poor, orphaned, dumbass," Red howled, closing his newspaper.

"Oh, sweetheart," Kitty chuckled, trying to catch her breath. "You should know by now that women say things that they don't really mean."

"No, really," Melissa jumped to Hyde's defense. "I told him he didn't have to."

"Good, one, Missy," Kelso cackled, rearing his head back.He started laughing so hard that he fell off the piano bench.

While the others attempted to recover from their hysterics, Steven glanced quickly in Melissa's direction. She appeared as if she was angry at the others for putting him on the spot, yet her eyes told him a different story. She had wanted a gift from him as he had expected she might.He was hoping he wouldn't have to resort to that stupid piece of paper in his back pocket.

"Yeah, so I figured it would be something like this," he said after a moment, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his piece of paper. He promptly placed the piece of paper into Melissa's hand. "So, I came up with this." Turning to his friends, he added, "and none of you better call me a chick for this or I'll pound you into 1985, man."

Leo's eyes widened, "Dude, it's 1985. Someone should tell the people at the Piggley Wiggley to stop selling out-dated calendars, man. Hey, dudes, I'll go tell 'em that right now." He sat the empty fruitcake plate on the coffee table and walked out the front door.

Melissa gave Steven a look of surprise as she unfolded the piece of paper. Her eyes scanned the brief note. And then she read aloud, "Hey, Four-Eyes, I figured you'd want some sort of present for this baby shower crap, so here it is. You can give the stupid kid my last name….P.S. Quit reading this freakin' thing out loud."

"Oh, Steven," she grinned. "Do you really mean it?"

"Yeah, whatever," he replied, getting up from the couch. "Let's get to the basement before everyone gets all mushy and crap on me."

The other children snickered under their breaths and obeyed, following Steven and Melissa to the kitchen.

"Oh, Red," Kitty gushed once they were gone. "Wasn't that nice of Steven?"

"Yeah, yeah, a real tender moment," he answered.

Sirens were blaring as police cars sped through the neighborhood and into town.

Mr. Forman kept his eyes on the paper and laughed slightly, "I guess the hippie made it to the Piggley Wiggley."


	17. Chapter 16

In his entire high school career, it was safe to say that Hyde had never seen the inside of his locker. He wasn't quite sure what he had in store as he cautiously approached it. He had promised Melissa that she could use his English book to catch up with her class work, so he was forcing himself to brave the dangers of the contents within that metal storage space. He gave the stubborn locker a kick and leapt back as the door swung open.

"Oh, hey, Missy," he greeted mechanically, reaching for the self above her head.

"Hey," she responded, waving to him with her only free hand. "Your English book is the third from the bottom, if that's what you're looking for."

He grabbed the book and dusted off the cobwebs, "Thanks, man. Take it easy." Without a second thought, he shut the door and began to walk away.

Steven was halfway down the hallway when he was finally struck by the oddness of that situation. He raced back to his locker and jerked open the door.

"What the hell are you doing in there, man?"

"I like meditating in small, confined, spaces," she retorted with slight sarcasm. "Now, could you please get me out of here?"

"Okay, okay," he nodded, bracing one foot on the lockers. He grabbed her arm and proceeded to pull. He gritted his teeth, "Damn, you're in there tight, man."

"You're kidding," she grumbled.

Steven tugged on her a little harder.

"Suck it in."

"I am sucking it in."

"When I pull, you push."

"Push!"

"Steven, I am pushing!"

"Not hard enough. Put some belly fat into it."

"Will you quit pulling so hard? My shoulder's going to come out of socket."

"If you don't quit complaining, your face will be out of socket."

After one final grunt and valiant pull, Melissa was free from her prison.

"Are you good now?" Steven asked, trying to catch his breath.

"Yeah," she sighed in relief, "I think so."

He stared at her a moment and then gestured for her to join him.

"So, like, how the hell did you end up in there, man?" he asked as the two of them walked along side one another. Steven cast a casual glance at Melissa's stomach as if to make sure nothing had changed.

"Apparently, the football team is still a little bitter about the Peter thing," she replied. "They, of course, blame me for it and thought they could get even with me by stuffing me in your locker because they knew you'd probably never go to it until after you graduated."

"That's actually pretty smart considering they're all a bunch of dumb jocks," he laughed and then stopped abruptly. He turned to her with a livid look in his eyes and exclaimed, "The football team shoved you in my locker, man! Where the hell are they?"

Melissa's eyes widened in panic, "Stevey, you can't take on the entire football team. That's crazy, so don't even try it."

"It's like taking on a whole bunch of Kelsoes with helmets, so I don't see a problem," he barked. Steven stormed down the hallway with vengeance on his mind. He tossed his textbook in the garbage can as he rounded the corner. His eyes were fixed on the doors of the school gym.

"You can't see the birth of a baby from a jail cell, Stevey," Melissa called, trying her best to reach Hyde before he entered the gym. She sighed in defeat as the door slammed in her face.

Steven clenched his fists and his eyes scanned the gym for his unfortunate victims. He spotted eleven of them as they filed out of the boy's locker room.

Fearlessly, he marched across the gym floor and shouted, "Okay, how many of you football-marrying morons don't have any respect for knocked up chicks and go stuffin' them into a law-breaking, scum-bag's locker?"

A thunderous laugh came from within the mountain of muscles. One quarterback stepped forward. He looked to be about six-foot with thick defined arms, a confident swagger, and a protruding butt for a chin. Steven had to remind himself that he was angry in order to keep from laughing.

"What do you want, worm?" the quarterback asked, folding his arms.

"Oh, did you have your little football helmet on too tight?" Hyde spat. "I asked you why the hell you stuffed my knocked up…friend in my locker?"

"That knocked up bitch is the reason our best player moved to Kenosha."

Steven clenched his jaw. "Call her that again, and I'll kick your ass, man!"

The whole team laughed in response.

"I'd love to see you try," was the boy's retort as he stared Hyde down.

Melissa screeched in fear and raced across the gym.

"Steven, don't," she pleaded, pulling at his arm. "It's not worth it."

"Yeah, Steven," the boy mocked. "It's not worth it, so why don't you turn around, with your tail between your legs, and beat it before we pound your face in." That stinging remark was followed by a vicious shove to Hyde's chest.

Steven leaned forward so that he didn't bump into Melissa. He watched as his beloved sunglasses fell onto the hardwood floor.

Melissa gasped in horror. Before she could grab a hold of him, he soared through the air and into the pack of football players.

"Stevey!" she wailed as she attempted to break up the brawl that had commenced.

It was only after he had busted a few noses that Hyde willingly let Melissa steer him away from the fight. He smirked in satisfaction at the eleven team members that were now groaning on the gym floor.

"Let's go," Melissa demanded, frantically trying to pull him towards the nearest exit. "You've hurt them, so I think you've got your point across."

As he was escorted from the gym, Steven shouted the warning, "The next time we meet like this I won't be so nice, man!"

"I can't believe you did that," Melissa shrilled as she and Hyde walked into the Formans' kitchen. She flopped down at the kitchen table and cut her eyes coldly toward Steven as he leaned against the corner. She hated how he could appear to be so calm and collected after the two of them spent the last three hours getting yelled, or rather spit on, by the school principle.

"You just had to do that didn't you? What were you thinking, smarting-off to Mr. Richards like that?" she continued, slinging her arms through the air in another wave of infuriation. "You could've gotten a few days for fighting, but no, you just had to make a wise-crack about the toupee."

"I couldn't help it," Steven said, going to the refrigerator for a beer. "It was on his head all crooked and just taunting me. I couldn't take it, man. And you have to admit that it did make him look a little like George Burns."

"You know," she began, "after Mr. Richards buys a new toupee and regains some of his self-esteem, you're probably going to be suspended for weeks on end."

"So," he shrugged. "I'll be suspended. It's not the first time, man."

Melissa looked exactly like her uncle whenever he was angry. Her face was a bright shade of red, and she was now screaming at him in an almost satanic tone of voice, "But, you can't keep getting suspended! Who would be there to make sure I'm not stuffed into anymore lockers?"

"What the hell are you two whining about?" Red demanded as he and Kitty came rushing in from the living room.

Looking worried, Kitty asked, "Did Michael catch himself on fire again?"

"Nothing," Steven replied, quickly hiding the beer behind his back, "Missy's just having a mood swing."

"I am not having a mood swing," she cried. "You're being irresponsible."

"Now, now," Kitty laughed uncomfortably, "there's no need for name calling. And, Melissa, honey, in Steven's defense, he's always irresponsible."

The two teenagers continued to argue and ignored the two adult figures.

"Hey," Steven retorted, "You're the one with a bun in the oven, so you should watch who you call irresponsible, man."

She rolled her eyes, "Oh, sure, let's throw that in my face again. Why don't you just call me fat while you're at it?"

"Why would I want to do that?" he snapped. The vein at his temple began to protrude outward as rage smoldered beneath his surface. "That's Kelso's job, man!"

Red had about all the quarrelling he could take for one day. He slammed his fist down on the counter. The two bickering teens ceased their yelling.

"You two morons take it to the basement," he demanded, narrowing his eyes, "before I shove my foot so far up both your asses that you'll be eating the bottom of my shoe for breakfast!"

Steven looked at Mr. Forman a moment. He seemed to be pleading with him, begging Red to save him from this annoying, relentless, squawking, human being, whom Steven had come to somewhat appreciate. Red's tiny, narrow eyes, held no pity for the desperate teenager. In fact, Steven was quite positive the old man was enjoying it.

Red folded his arms. "What the hell are you looking at, Curly-Q?"

Steven had to stop himself from making a sarcastic remark about Red's shiny, semi-bald head as the kitchen light bounced off of it. If Red threw a coat of polish on that dome, it would have made a pretty descent solar energy panel. At that thought, he couldn't stop himself from snickering.

Mr. Forman growled. "Get down to the basement and take the fruity pregnant girl with you! And that beer you have hidden behind your back belongs to me."

Hyde sighed and reluctantly handed over the beer. He quickly headed for the basement door before Melissa could trap him within their stupid argument. However, he was too late; she was hot on his heels before he could even make it to the bottom stair.

Her tone returned to that satanic scream the moment he was seated. "Don't think I'm finished with you. You have got to start acting like an adult and you can't go running off every time we get in an argument." She was pointlessly shaking her index finger at him.

"This is not an argument," he corrected, leaning back in his chair. "This is just you yelling at me after I did something nice for you. No wonder they stuffed you in a locker, man. I should've left you in there. I would've done us all a favor."

"This is exactly what I'm talking about. You are going to set a rotten example for this baby with that kind of attitude."

"You're not exactly Mother of the Year." Steven hadn't meant it to have come out the way it had. He saw that wave of hurt flash across her emerald eyes and immediately wished he could've taken it back.

Melissa flopped down on the couch and stared straight ahead. She slowly spoke to him. "I'm not going to turn into my mother and I'm not going to turn into your mother. We've got a chance, Stevey, a wonderful chance to make things right. Let's show them that we're capable of raising a descent person."

"Yeah," Steven smirked. "I bet we could." He could just imagine a ten-year-old boy that was intelligent like his mother and destroyed those brain cells like his fill-in old man. Being able to pass on his timeless wisdom, the secret of being zen, and life-lessons was something he could look forward to.

"So, we're in agreement," she grinned, "no more acts of immaturity unless we've consulted one another and determined that an act of immaturity is necessary."

He raised a confused brow and followed with clearing his throat. "Well, I won't purposely get suspended anymore. But as for me acting my age, you're pushing it, man."

Melissa laughed, shaking her head, "Fair enough."

Once she seemed to finally be at peace, Steven relaxed. He rose from the chair and walked over to the deepfreeze to get a Popsicle.

"Stevey, you'll ruin your appetite."

He sighed and dropped the treat back into the freezer.

"I'm making you dinner," she explained as he took his seat. "You come on over at six. How does, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, and lemonade sound?"

He tried to conceal a look of astonishment. "I didn't know that you cook."

She smiled in response, stood, and lightly patted his leg. "It's called a cook book. They're handy little suckers. I'm going to go get started on it, so you just sit here and watch your T.V." Before leaving, she reached into the deepfreeze and grabbed the very Popsicle Steven had planned to eat.

"Hey, man, what about your appetite?"

"I'm pregnant," she laughed, "so, I'm always hungry."

The guys settled in the circle around the basement coffee table. Steven held a chicken leg in one hand and a spoonful of mashed potatoes in the other. He was ginning happily to himself.

"Let me get this straight, Hyde," Eric began, holding up his right index finger, "you only beat up a few football players, not all of them?"

Steven took a giant bite of his chicken leg. "Forman, man, I couldn't kick all their asses because Melissa wouldn't let me…Does anyone else think that Principle Richards looks like George Burns?"

"Hyde," Fez's mouth was agape, "I did not think you went to your locker…I didn't know you could read. Isn't that wonderful? Hyde, you can read!"

"I can't believe you made football players cry," Kelso laughed, nearly catching his fingers on fire with a match as he tried to light more incense. "Remember the other day when you threw the basketball and it hit me in the face, then I made out like it didn't hurt, but it did? You guys don't know this but I cried a little afterwards, only a little…Man, Hyde you're really good at making people cry."

"I can't believe Melissa's going to let you raise a kid," Eric snickered. "That's just, like, allowing you to turn it into a major screw up. On top of that, you can forget about dating. That's over, my friend, all over."

"No way, Eric," Kelso shook his head. "Babies are, like, total chick magnets. I mean, you could be a total uggo, but if you've got a baby with you, the hot chicks just come pouring in. Hyde, you better milk this for what it's worth."

Fez frowned. "Milk, what milk? I do not see any boobs?"

Hyde glanced at his friends as he licked his spoon clean. "You guys don't have to worry about me, man." He tossed his chicken bone over his shoulder. "I don't really date…It's more of a casual sex thing. When you start to heavily date, chicks expect you to treat them all nice and crap. Confucius, or my old man, had once said, 'Relationships are temporary. One-night stands last a lifetime.'" He laughed, bobbing his head. "I try to live by that motto, man. I think we all should…Oh, and, Forman, your dad has a freakishly shiny head!"

Steven tapped his fingers impatiently on the counter as he and Melissa waited on their orders. He was already agitated by the fact that Melissa had ordered the French fries after he had asked her not to. He didn't think having fried potatoes, dripping in grease was good for the baby. But for the sake of not sounding like a girl, he didn't dispute it and let Pinciotti have her way.

He stuck his head inside the ordering window. "Hurry up, Frank," he yelled. "We'd like to eat sometime today, man!"

"If you don't like waiting, go somewhere else, Hyde," Frank shouted in response.

"We would, but walking somewhere else is too much of an inconvenience!"

Steven growled, leaning against the counter.

"Why don't we just go sit with the guys until our food's ready?" Melissa asked.

"I'm only makin' one trip to this counter," he replied, turning his back to her. "I'm not about to bring your ten tons of food to our table by myself, man."

A soft hand slid up the center of Steven's back and his eyes widened. For a moment, he thought that it had been Melissa. He spun quickly around, ready to practically deck her for making such a bold gesture.

"Suzanne." He was unable to mask his surprise. It wasn't everyday that he got approached by loosest chick in Point Place since Laurie Forman.

"Hi," she giggled, running her hand through her golden blonde hair. "Hyde, isn't it? I saw you standing over here, so I just thought I'd come over and see how you were."

"He's fine," Melissa snapped, trying to push the blonde out of her way.

"Yeah," Steven nodded, regaining his composure. "Did you come over here to apologize for your boyfriend's antics or did you come over here to make sure that I don't kick his ass again?"

Suzanne frowned, poking out her lower lip. "I felt really horrible about what Burke and his friends did to your pregnant friend." She gestured to a very annoyed Melissa. "Because of what he did, we're no longer dating."

"Well, I'm happy for you," he said flatly, eyeballing his orders that had been placed on the counter. He handed Melissa's basket of fries to her, but she wasn't about to go take a seat at the table. When Suzanne didn't catch the hint to leave him alone, he started to walk away.

She lightly grabbed his arm. "Hold on a second. I just wanted to say that I thought you giving Burke what he deserved was, like, a total turn-on." She giggled at Steven's confused gaze. "I was hoping that I could make up for his actions."

"Yeah, that's not a good idea."

"Just take me to a movie." Suzanne ran her fingers up his bare arm. "I bet your El Camino has very spacious seats."

"Yeah, whatever, I guess I'll see you at seven then."

She smiled, giving him a long, lingering, kiss on the cheek. "See you at seven."

He watched as she scampered out the door.

Melissa flopped down next to Fez and tossed her basket of fries on the table. "Please, tell me you're going to rethink going out with her."

"Yeah," Jackie snarled in disgust. "She's, like, such a sank-wad."

Steven took a sip of his pop. "That's what makes dating her fun."

Eric chuckled. "Leave it to our Hyde to take advantage of all the slutty girls in Point Place."

"You're almost like me, Hyde. Keep on living free!" Kelso declared. "That's the American dream, man."

"Kelso," Donna shook her head. "The American dream has nothing to do with sleeping with two women while you're still in a relationship."

Fez interjected. "I thought the American dream was candy and porno?"

"Steven, I think I should come with you on this date," Melissa insisted, talking through a mouth full of fries. "I don't trust her."

"We've had a long talk about this stalking crap, man," he scowled.

"What if something happens to me while you're gone?" she asked, spitting chunks of fry in his direction. A look of desperation filled her eyes. "What if—what if my water breaks while you're sucking face with that girl?"

He stared at her a moment, studying her face. She was attempting to make him guilty and it wasn't going to work, not now, not ever. "Well, if that happens, Mrs. Forman just bought two rolls of paper towels, so you should be covered."

"I just get the feeling that this is a set-up," she sighed. "Maybe we could double- date or something. I think I should be there if something goes wrong."

"Why? They'd just stuff you in a car trunk this time."

"Like you could get a date," Kelso laughed. "Missy, no guy wants to date a knocked up chick."

Steven groaned. He knew what was coming. He saw Melissa's blank stare and then her lower lip began to quiver as she turned to face him.

"The doofus is right," she whimpered. "No one's gonna want to date a whale."

"That's not true," he reassured. "Peter dated you and you were a whale then."

"But you were paying him."

"Okay, so that was a minor technicality. I promise, man, one day you'll find someone that's just as lonely and desperate as you are."

Despite the two tears that slid down her cheeks, she smiled, "Really?"

"Of course," Eric replied. He gestured to the guy that sat a few tables from them. "Take that guy. He's alone in here almost all the time."

"Yeah," Jackie nodded. "I bet he's desperate enough to date you since I'm way out of his league. You're both dorky looking and awkward, so it's a perfect match."

"Why don't you go and ask him out?" Donna asked. "I'm sure he'd say yes."

Melissa turned and stared at the boy a moment. He was fairly handsome. He had long, sort of greasy hair, which fell into his eyes. He had a suicidal kind of way about him, but who was she to be nit-picky? She shrugged and stood. What did she have to lose?

Steven waited until she was a good enough distance from the table before he spoke. "Yeah, she's going down."

The gang nodded.

They eagerly watched as Melissa made her move. She smiled pleasantly, and the boy smiled in response as he offered her a seat.

"He's laughing," Donna smiled excited. "This is a good sign...unless she has a booger hanging out of her nose like she did last time."

Kelso, of course, was in denial about the whole disturbing situation. "There's no way that he's into her. He's got to be blind or completely stupid. I mean, who would purposely date a fat chick without considering the consequences?"

Melissa patted the boy's arm then rose and walked toward her friends' table.

Donna smiled. "I knew he would say yes." She sighed in relief, adding, "And you didn't have a giant booger in your nose this time!"

"He said he'd rather date my dead cat, but when I offered to do his biology homework, he couldn't say no. And, for your information, it was broccoli in my braces, not a booger in my nose."

"I knew you'd bribe your way into his heart," Steven smirked, picking through her left over fries.

"Would you guys like to meet him?"

"Like we have a choice," he replied.

Melissa grinned excitedly, spun around, and gestured for the boy to come over. The boy stood and reluctantly walked toward her. He groaned as she latched on to his arm. "Everyone, this is Fred."

"It's Ted."

"Whatever," she said dismissively. "Anyway, Ted, this is everyone."

Ted could have cared less about Melissa's friends and the feeling was mutual, yet she continued on as if both sides were interested in one another. "Ned's taking me to the movies tonight. Aren't you, Ned?"

"It's Ted!"

Hyde raised a brow and turned slightly in his chair. His piercing blue eyes began to interrogate the cunning young lady.

"You're still not double-dating with me and the sank-wad," he scowled, folding his arms across his chest, "so you should just plan your little date for some other time."

"Of course we won't be double-dating," she laughed, pulling Ted closer to her. He nearly lost his footing. "We'll just be watching your date from Fred's car, isn't that right, Fred? See, this way we're both happy. You get to impregnate Suzanne in the front seat of your El Camino, and I get to make sure that your manhood isn't in the vicious hands of vengeful football players."

"Crap," Hyde groaned, looking away in disgust. "When you say it like that, it's dirty and sickening." His image of the evening was tainted and no fun would come of it.

Melissa was beaming from her success at changing his tune. "Well, Stevey, just remember to use something protective during your ventures for this evening. You know what Mrs. Forman says about venereal diseases." She turned to her date. "C'mon, Ned, you can give me a ride home." Ted had opened his mouth, to more than likely make an objection, but was jerked toward the door before he could speak.

Kelso had a stunned, almost appalled expression on his face as he attempted to organize the discussion that had just taken place. "Man, Hyde," he screeched. "You've got a VD?! Don't you think that's something you should've told Suzanne? Well, unless she's the one that gave it to you. I hear they've got shots that will clear that right up…"

Melissa's face was smashed against the passenger side window. She cupped her hands around her eyes in an effort to block the glare from the movie. Steven's car was a only a few car lengths across from her, yet the only thing she could see was the occasional gleam of the bumper when a bit of light bounced off the movie screen. Her heart echoed so loudly within her ears that she could barely hear herself shunning him for having a vehicle that could be camouflaged by the night.

"I can't see a thing," she grumbled more to herself than to her date.

Ted had been virtually ignored the whole evening. He had his elbow against the glass and was holding up his drooping head. He glared at her through half-open eyes.

"Duh, it's dark out. What did you expect, a bright sunset?"

She rolled her eyes, not even bothering to tear them away from the window. "Oh, shut up, Ned. Watch the movie."

"It's Ted. T-E-D, Ted. It's a three-letter word, so it's not that hard to remember."

"Could I please have some silence, whatever-your-name-is? I'm trying to concentrate. It's kind of hard to do when my date is babbling in my ear."

Ted sighed, opening his car door. He got out, turned to her, and asked indifferently, "Want anything from the snack bar?" She was unresponsive. "Okay, whatever. If you want anything, you can get yourself." He slammed the door violently. Gravel hit the side of the car as he stormed away.

Melissa briefly gave the recognition that she was alone and then shrugged. She turned her attention back to Hyde's car. She squinted until she could detect a black blob, which was blurred from his foggy windows.

"He's purposely making things difficult."

She was desperate to ensure that Steven was safe. The knot in her stomach said otherwise. It was only a matter of time before Suzanne's boyfriend came to crash the party. There wasn't much Melissa could do if Hyde were in trouble but she did have a bobby pin, detailed knowledge of Bruce Lee's movies, and, of course, Ted. With that kind of back-up, she had a twenty-percent chance of success during an altercation.

Hyde was enthralled by Suzanne's steamy kiss. She was sitting in his lap and he could swear he was getting a taste of what heaven might be like. It was no wonder why Burke had been with her so long even despite the fact that she had issues with controlling herself for more than two seconds. She had barely given him time to breathe, not that he could breathe with the heater going like it was. The both of them were nearly drowning in sweat and being physically aroused wasn't helping matters.

She finally pulled away, licking her lips. Steven watched as droplets of sweat ran down the valley of her breasts. "You know, I don't think we need all of this heat," she giggled, fanning herself. "We're generating enough heat as it is."

He shrugged. "It was either, foggy windows, or Missy's eyes on us the whole night. I chose making-out without the audience."

"Oh, I don't know," she smirked, running her fingers across the back of his neck, "having an audience is kind of what makes this whole thing fun, don't you think?"

He raised a brow. "Yeah, I think you're a little bit weird and I'll probably regret this whole experience, but you're free, so I'm not gonna complain."

"That's a wise choice," she retorted, closing in on his lips again.

Steven was quick to put a finger to her lips. "You don't have anything like a cold or, I don't know, a VD that I could catch, do you? 'Cause if you do, we need to stop this fun train before it gets started, man."

"Goodness, no," she laughed, innocently flipping her hair. "I've only been with the football team, silly."

"You really are an uber-slut, huh?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, well, when you're cursed with good looks and a killer rack, being a slut is the only alternative."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I see your point. Shall we continue?" He didn't wait for her to reply as he pulled her toward him again.

As Hyde's lips moved down her neck, Suzanne raised her arm and glanced at her watch. It was almost eight-thirty. She made muffled moaning sounds to make it seem as though her date had it the right spot. Hyde was a great kisser, but she just wasn't into him. She began to count backwards in her head, waiting patiently. Then, just as she made it to one, the car door flew open.

"What the hell, man?" Steven wailed as he was yanked out of the car.

Melissa gasped. She saw four men approaching the El Camino. That was what she had been waiting for all night—her beloved Stevey was in trouble. She quickly unbuckled her seatbelt, pulled out her bobby pin, and bolted out the car door.

"What took you guys so long?" Suzanne asked, climbing out of the driver's seat.

"Sorry, babe," Burke said, slinging Steven against the side of his vehicle. "We were stuffing some dweeb at the concession stand into a trash can and lost track of time."

Steven grumbled. "What is it with you jocks and stuffing people into things?"

"Can it, Hyde, nobody's talkin' to you." Burke roared.

Steven was about to state the obvious, but a forearm pressed against his throat quickly shut him up. "Missy was right…Crap, now I'll never hear the end of this."

"So, how does it feel being jumped when you least expect it?" Burke barked, pressing his forearm even harder against Hyde's throat.

"At least I gave you a warning before I kicked your ass, man," he replied, straining to get some air. "Attempting to have an elaborate ass-kicking set-up is idiotic and immature."

"Let him go," Melissa shouted. She approached rapidly, literally grabbing Suzanne by the hair just to get to Hyde. She clawed at Burke's forearm, attempting to get him to break his hold. "You let him go, Burke. I mean it!"

"You and Alice Cooper just go back to watching the movie. I've got a good handle on this," Steven reassured even as the pressure against his throat began to cut off his air supply.

"I said let him go!" Melissa demanded, glaring at Burke through narrow eyes.

Burke laughed, shoving her away. "Why don't you scram, dork? This fight is for big boys only."

She folded her arms across her chest and cocked her head to one side. "Well, then why are you here? Isn't it a little past your bedtime?"

"Well, well," he chuckled, backing away from Hyde. "Look who has a back bone." He and his friends advanced toward her. Melissa stood her ground. They weren't going to intimate her, not when Steven's life was in jeopardy.

Steven inhaled a deep breath and clutched his throat in relief. "Hey, man," he began, trying to turn their attention back to him. "This is between me and you…four, so why don't you leave her out of this?"

"From now on, you're going to leave me and Steven alone," she confidently stated. "If you don't, you'll all live to regret it."

"What are you going to do about it?"

Melissa glare at him a moment. "This!" She kicked Burke in the knee. As he hunkered down to her level, she pinned him tightly underneath her arm pit. The bobby pin bore into the side of his neck.

She glared at the other boys. "If any of you come any closer, he'll have a new piece of jewelry sticking out of his neck."

Burke began jerking. He was lifting her into the air and back down again as he tried to escape her cobra-like clutch.

She tried desperately to hang on. "He's clearly stronger than I anticipated."

Hyde couldn't overcome his sudden state of shock. Here was Melissa, a loser by nature, clinging to a jock's neck for dear life. Had this not been a serious situation, he would have started laughing at the ridiculous sight.

"Missy, man," he said, rushing toward her. "What the hell are you doing? I thought you said no more acts of immaturity unless we talked about it first."

"He threatened to kick you're butt, so I'm kicking his. There. Now, we've talked about it. Are you going to help me or not?"

Hyde really didn't have much of a choice. He couldn't let her fend for herself. As he went fist-to-fist with Larry, Moe, and Curly, Melissa continued to strangle Burke until he finally passed out from lack oxygen.

Melissa tossed Burke's body to the ground. She stared at it a moment, her chest heaving. She was rather pleased with herself. She had been like a mother bear protecting her cub, not that she considered Steven a cub. He was more like a sarcastic, ungrateful, grizzly bear. There was one more person that she wanted a piece of—Suzanne.

Unfortunately for Suzanne, it took her a while to realize that the plan had been foiled and she needed to retreat before she was the next target.

Melissa stood, beside Steven, in her best karate stance, gesturing for the blonde to bring it. "You want a piece of me Barbie? C'mon, I've got raging hormones and I'm not afraid to use them."

"Okay, Bruce Lee," Steven interjected. "I think you've made your point, so let's…Ah, hell, this might be the only time I ever get to see you fight. Go for it."

Suzanne let out a fearful screech and ran in the opposite direction.

Melissa was about to take off after her, but Hyde held her back. "Just let her go. You kicked her boyfriend's ass, which is good enough for me. In honor of this momentous occasion, let's go get a pop."

She looked at him a moment, raised her brow, and laughed. "You're going buy me a pop? This really is a momentous occasion."

He knelt down and felt Burke's pocket for his wallet. He found it, opened it, and took out ten dollars. He grinned, holding the cash up for her to see. "Now I am." He dropped the wallet on Burke's face and headed for the El Camino. Melissa followed.

"After you, killer," he chuckled, opening the passenger door. She looked surprised by the gesture and complied. He shut the door once she was inside, walked to his side of the car, and climbed in.

Melissa looked at him disgruntled, holding up a pink lace bra by one finger.

He smirked slightly. "I have no idea how that got there." He yanked the bra from her hand and tossed it out the window. "Yeah, man, so how about that pop?"

The ride back to the Formans' was quite pleasant. Rock music blared on the radio and mingled with the blithe conversation. Melissa watched him intently, taking slow sips of her soda. She had almost forgotten how attractive Steven was whenever he made wisecracks. He had ceased talking when he realized that she was staring at him.

Hyde stared at her from the corner of his eye. The way she was studying him made him nervous. "Hey, Missy, we need to talk about that whole movie brawl thing, man," he said, clenching the steering wheel. "We can't tell any of the guys about that."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, I know. I should respectfully protect that callous reputation you're always going on about."

"Well, yeah, that," he nodded, "but not just that. You're pregnant, man. You shouldn't be running around telling people you got in a fight."

Melissa cooed and batted her eyelashes. "Is that your indirect way of you telling to be careful and that you care about what happens to me?"

"No," he replied quickly. "I don't give a crap about what happens with you. I just don't want you to do something stupid while you're pregnant, and then the kid comes out looking all gross and deformed."

She smiled, patting his thigh. He eyeballed her once more but didn't comment or try to swat her hand away like he usually did. She let it rest on his leg, almost daring him to say something. Steven jerked slightly, showing recognition, but that was it. They pulled into the Formans' driveway and turned off the car.

He took his sunglasses off and placed them on the dash. He turned to look into Melissa's eyes. "There's something else we've got to talk about, man."

She immediately jerked her hand away. "Sorry, couldn't help myself."

"Relax," he chuckled. "It's cool."

"I-it is?" she asked, furrowing her brows.

"Yeah," he nodded. "It doesn't bother me."

"Everything that I do bothers you."

"Not much anymore."

She looked surprised. "Are you just saying that to trick me into something?"

Steven slid across the seat, his face inches from hers. She inhaled a deep, tense breath. He smirked. "Yeah, I guess I normally would do that, but not this time. We're going into this family thing together, so that means we should probably make the most of it, am I right?"

"Did you put some booze in that soda of yours?" she choked, sipping nervously at her empty cup.

He laughed. "You're really slow to this, aren't you?"

Melissa's eyes widened and she squeaked her reply, "I'm slow at a lot of things, but I'm catching on to this weird situation rather quickly."

"You can shut up at any time, man," he laughed, lifting her chin with his index finger. He ran his other hand around her mid-section and placed it in the small of her back. Melissa was forced into his captivating embrace. Steven's eyes locked with hers and his lips inched closer…

"Missy, quit drooling on my window, man," Steven barked, pushing her shoulder.

She jumped, waking from her dream. "I didn't touch you!" she wailed. "It's your fault. You wanted to do it!"

Hyde snarled. "I don't even want to know, just quit smearing your spit all over my windows, man. We're home, so you better wake up because I'm not carrying you to your door. I've already blown ten bucks on you tonight. I'll be damned if I'm throwing my back out." Irritated, he got out of the car, slammed the door, and walked into the Formans' kitchen.

"I liked him better in my dream," Melissa frowned, getting out of the car.


	18. Chapter 17

Eric scrunched up his nose in discontent as he watched Melissa. She was sitting on the basement couch with her shirt all the way up to her chest, observing the non-existent baby-bump. She kept rubbing her hand across her mid-section and gasping whenever she felt the tiniest bit of movement.

"Are you ever going to quit doing that?"

"Nope," Melissa replied, grinning, "So you better get used to it."

"I think we should kick her out of the basement if she's going to keep this up, man," Kelso said, sitting in the lawn chair. He gestured in repulsion. "I mean, no one wants to see that."

Fez sat down, next to Melissa, and stared at her bare stomach. "I do. I think it is beautiful. Missy, why don't you take off your shirt, so that we can see the rest of your marvelous, invisible, child lump?"

"Fez," she giggled. "It's called a baby-bump, not lump."

He shrugged. "Bump, lump. It's all the same to me."

Eric climbed on to the back of the couch. "Missy, why don't you go home for a while? You know just for a week or two, or hey, maybe ten. We've got a lot better things to do than watch you poke at your stomach all day."

She finally put her shirt down and stared at him in disbelief. "Like what? Burn incense and stay in this stuffy basement?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, it's something like that."

"Yeah," Kelso nodded, pointing at her. "Just wait. When Hyde gets back, he's going to want you out of here, so live it up while you can."

Melissa laughed. "I bet he would. Steven's not going to make me go anywhere."

"If he won't, my dad will," Eric retorted. "He already can't stand you."

She folded her arms across her chest and gave him an innocent smile. "To be fair, Eric, Red isn't that fond of you, either."

He debated it a moment and then nodded. "Yeah, that's true. Still, I don't think it's cool that you're here all the time."

Melissa had started to make a response, but Steven coming through the basement door distracted her. Leo followed behind him. Hyde was carrying a shopping bag in one hand and a brown bag in the other.

"Hey, man," he greeted her with a slight smile, tossing the shopping bag into her lap. "Leo and I got you some stuff."

"Yeah, man," Leo nodded. "And I helped him pick it out. Well, I think I helped him pick it out. Hey, dude, did I help you pick it out? It's funny 'cause I don't remember picking anything out, except for what I ate for breakfast, man."

She peeked eagerly inside the bag and pulled out two black baby t-shirts. She smiled, which quickly faded when she unfolded the first shirt. She eyed the green leaf in the center of the shirt and then glanced at Steven.

"A marijuana leaf, you got the baby a shirt with a marijuana leaf on it?"

"Isn't it bad ass?" he grinned. "Go on, look at the second one."

Melissa looked apprehensive as she unfolded the other shirt. She held it up in front of her and read aloud the white writing across it, "Gas, grass, or a—Yeah, that's definitely not appropriate." She quickly put the shirt down.

She thought that he was joking with her at first, but then she saw that he was genuinely proud of his accomplishment. He thought that he had done something special and she decided to let him have that moment.

"So, what do you think, man?" Leo asked. "They're pretty sweet, dude. I wish my parents had got me shirts like that, man. I would have been, like, cool or something."

Steven crossed the room. "I figured the kid should have some style," he explained, leaning against the dyer.

Melissa smiled. "Well, it was a wonderful gesture, and I'll let the baby wear them in about twenty years."

She studied him a moment and then the empty chair, which he usually sat in. Why wasn't he sitting? He was deviating from the routine that she had grown so accustomed to. Steven shuffled uncomfortably under her gaze.

"You're ditching me today, aren't you?" she questioned, her cross glare sending a sea of chills down his spine.

"Yes, yes, I'd say he is," Eric replied.

Steven tried to muster a blank stare, but guilt had already made itself apparent by his pursed lips. He was struggling to keep his edge.

"I knew it," she laughed coldly. "You always buy the baby things to make up for not including me in stuff."

"Name one time, other than now, that I've bought the baby something."

"That's easy. Last week, when you didn't want to go to my Mommy Support class, you brought home an American flag baby rattle that had 'Nixon Rocks' wrote on it. What would an unborn child need with a Nixon rattle, Stevey?"

"I had a really good reason for that, man. No guy, in his right mind, wants to sit in a room with fifteen, overweight chicks, Lamaze Breathing for an hour and a half."

"What's you're excuse now?"

"I have to work late."

"Yeah, dude," Leo nodded as the thought dawned on him. "I'm not working today, man." He looked at Steven. "Right, boss?"

Melissa face softened and her innocent smile returned. "Well, why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

Steven shrugged. "Maybe because I didn't think I owed you an explanation every time I went somewhere…Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what I thought."

"Oh, don't be silly. I would never be mad at you for getting some extra hours. I just worry that I'll have an emergency and no way to get a hold of you."

Hyde grinned and slapped his boss on the back. "I know and that's why I'm leaving you in the hands of a semi-responsible adult."

Melissa threw her head back and laughed, pointing at Leo. "Him, you can't be serious? He doesn't even know what year it is."

Leo thought a moment and then turned to Steven. "Yeah, man," he nodded. "Remember when I, like, thought it was 1985, dude?"

Melissa pointed again, insinuating that her point had just been made. She was looking at Steven pleadingly. If her puppy-dog eyes actually worked on him, his knees would have buckled, and he would have caved to her demands. He returned her stare with a stern one of his own.

"You'll be fine," he insisted. "Look, we'll just work out some kind of system in case of an emergency. Forman, would you go find the walkies, man?"

Eric nodded and got off the couch. "No problem. I think they're down here somewhere." He walked over toward the shower and disappeared behind the curtain. He carefully rummaged through his mother's knick-knacks, talking to himself in the process. "Hey, I've been wondering what happened to my Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker Lightsaber set." The curtain moved back and forth as he performed various Jedi motions, making the Lightsaber sound while he fought. "You'll never take me alive Darth Vader, never! Eat saber. Eat saber, I say!"

Steven hit his fist against the curtain and nailed Eric in the back of the head.

Eric gave a high-pitched screech in response, "What the hell, Hyde?!"

"Quit screwing around, moron. Look for the walkies, man."

"You're just jealous because you don't have the Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker Lightsaber set," Eric grumbled, going back to work.

After another minute or two, Eric emerged from behind the curtain, carrying two walkies talkies. A faint static sound came from the speakers as he turned on the walkies to test the batteries.

Steven nodded and took them from Eric. "Keep yours on channel nine," he instructed Melissa, tossing a walkie into her lap, "so that way, if something comes up, you have a way to get a hold of me." He could only pray that he was out of rage whenever she felt the urge to pester him.

He waited to see if she had any defiant response. When she didn't, he and his friends crept toward the basement door. Steven was hoping that he could sneak out and avoid Melissa's scrutiny, but, alas, he was mistaken. He cringed at the sound of her clearing her throat. The four boys stopped abruptly and slowly turned to face her. They were at fingers-length from the door knob and tempted to make a run for it.

Melissa was standing in front of them, her arms crossed, foot tapping, and a quizzical expression on her face. "I get why Steven has to leave, but why do the rest of you? Are you all going to the Fotohut, and, if you are, why? Did Steven forget how to count correct change or something?"

"Yeah, sure," Eric replied. "We can go with that one."

The boys turned, ready to open the door and flee.

"I'm not buying it."

Steven, Eric, Kelso, and Fez gave simultaneous sighs as they begrudgingly turned to face her. Melissa had become equivalent to their overbearing mothers.

"C'mon, man," Kelso wailed in irritation. "We're wasting precious daylight here." He stepped forward, placing both hands on her shoulders. "I'm just going to level with you, Missy. It's not that we don't want to stay here with you, but we just can't stand you. I mean, the only person who can is Donna, and that's only because you're family, and it's, like, a requirement."

Melissa rolled her eyes. "Yeah, like I haven't heard that before. You're going to have to give me a better excuse than that."

"Okay, man," Leo interjected, throwing a heavy arm around her shoulder. "What if I don't come into work today? I'm, like, supposed to be watching you, stalker-chick. If I'm not working, Hyde's all by himself, dude. He'll, like, need stuff and other stuff like that, man. He'll need help with that thing and that other thing, too."

Melissa raised a brow, turned to the others, and asked, "Can someone translate that, please?"

Steven stepped forward, staring her down. Melissa took a few uncomfortable steps back. "Look, man," he began, struggling to conceal the aggravation in his tone. "With Leo not working and looking after you, I'm going to need some help at the hut, so the guys are just picking up the slack and that's all." He paused, suddenly appalled by his actions. "Why the hell am I even explaining myself to you, man?" He turned to his friends, "C'mon let's get outta here before I get sucked into another death trap."

"Well, don't work too…" The door slammed before Melissa could finish her sentence. She frowned, "hard." She hung her head and sat back down.

Leo laughed. "Oh, don't worry, if he's anything like me, man, he hardly works at all. It's pretty awesome, dude."

Smoke had filled the Fotohut from floor to ceiling. Hyde and his friends sat in a circle; the stash was spread across the counter. It was nice to be out of the basement for a change. Steven blinked slowly, a grin spread across his face. "I never thought I'd be the one to openly admit that I'm a complacent drone to the work force. Work kicks ass compared to being with Missy all day, man."

"Everything kicks ass compared to being with Melissa," Eric giggled, "like, for instance, antiquing with my mom, listening to Red state all the different ways he can put his foot up my ass..."

Fez frowned, shaking his head. "Missy is not that bad, you guys."

Kelso roared with laugher, rocking back and forth. "Eric, your mom is, like, a hot freakin' old lady, man. I'm not kidding, if I were a few years older…Wait, I think I've nailed someone as old as your mom." He laughed again. "Dude, I'm awesome!"

"Oh, there's one," Eric said, adding another item to his list. "I'd rather listen to Kelso's sex life all day long than be with Missy."

Steven suddenly began to panic, squirming frantically in his chair. "I can't get away from her, man," he cried, grabbing a handful of hair, "I even hear her frickin' voice in my head, man. God, help me!"

_"Steven, are you there? Steven, answer me."_

He shrieked. "See, man, there it is again! Can anyone hear that?" His eyes widened. "God, I'm going crazy, man!" Melissa's desperate voice continued to call to him from the back pocket of his jeans. Steven had completely forgotten about the walkie talkie.

_"Steven, if you can hear me, I'm at the Fatso Burger. It's getting a little late, and to be honest, I'm getting really scare all by myself. Come get me, Steven! I said come get me now, gosh darn it!"_

"She's always calling me—always wanting to suck the life force right out of me, man. You guys don't know what it's like. I can't get her out of my head!" At the sound of the door slamming, Steven paused in the midst of his nervous breakdown and looked to see who had come to join them.

"Sorry, dudes," Leo laughed, sitting down next to him. "I was, like, sitting outside some place that had a weird clown out front. It kept asking me what I wanted to eat, man, and that's when I realized that I was supposed to be at work today."

"Leo, weren't you supposed to be doing something else today?" Eric asked, trying to think. "Wasn't it something important?"

"I don't know, dude," Leo replied. "Maybe I'm doing it right now." He turned to Steven. "Hyde, did I have something important to do, man?"

"I think so, man, but who's to know?"

Leo jumped as a thought struck him and his eyes widened. "I got it, dude…I was supposed to help you with that thing and that other thing, man."

Steven grinned, nodding. "Yeah, maybe that's it."

Eric folded his arms, still not convinced. He was fairly positive that they were leaving something or someone out. Maybe it was Donna? Was he supposed to be at the radio station with her? Whatever it was, he knew that it had something to do with Donna.

"I don't think that's it," he shrugged, "but, whatever…Hey, isn't everything better than being around Melissa?" He laughed at his own joke. "Okay, show of hands. Who thinks Melissa's a dork?"

Steven had unknowingly raised his hand and kept it in the air the entire time he spoke. "Hey, man, does anyone know if I left her enough Twinkies? She's a total nut-bag without her Twinkies." He paused, his grin vanishing from his face. He held a brief aura of seriousness. "Oh, man, Forman…" he began, opened-mouth and nearly whispering, "I so totally want a Twinkie, now."

With a box of Twinkies in his lap, and two opened ones in each hand, Steven sat happily satisfying his craving. He took a large bite out of one cream-filled treat and paused a moment before taking an equally-sized bite out of the other. He tilted his head back, put his feet on the coffee table, and sighed. There was nothing like a box of Twinkies after a two-and-a-half-hour circle.

The rest of the gang had gathered around the couch and were watching some nature program on the television. He sighed again, grinning. The day had been good—life had been good. Hyde couldn't help taking notice that he was in an unusual mood at that moment. Come to think of it, he hadn't even burned Jackie all evening, and he just couldn't let that slide. He opened his mouth and was about to deliver a mediocre burn, but stopped sort of it as the basement door violently swung open.

Melissa came tromping angrily inside. She glared at him, her wet hair tangled within her glasses, and her soggy shoes discharging water as she rapidly tapped her foot. She gritted her teeth and barked, "Steven Jason Hyde III, you are in so much trouble that God Himself couldn't get you out of it!"

Hyde returned a firm glare of his own, but couldn't stop himself from laughing. "What the hell happened to you, man?"

"Bob must've left the toilet seat up again," Eric answered, joining in with the rest of the group's laughter.

"Burn!" Kelso sang.

"Do you want to know what happen?" Melissa spat, shaking a violent index finger in Steven's direction. "I'll tell you what happened. Your 'responsible' adult took me to Fatso Burger and left me there. I was there for over two hours, Steven!"

Tears were starting to well up in Steven's eyes because he was laughing so hard. "In my defense," he gasped, trying to control himself. "I told you that he was semi-responsible, man. He's got, like, a ten second attention span."

Melissa wasn't even listening to him as she paced back and forth, yelling, "And what happened to you're walkie talkie plan?" She stopped long enough to chuck a soaking wet walkie at his head, which she missed, and it ended up colliding with the wall behind him.

"Something came up, and you were nowhere to be found. I had to walk twenty blocks, in the rain, just to get to the nearest phone booth. Do you have any idea how nerve racking it was to call Mr. Forman? I had to hear a twenty minute rant about how he should've stuck his foot in my butt for making him miss his T.V. show."

"Ewww," Jackie turned up her nose. "You actually walked in the rain? No wonder you have bad hair. Rain water makes your hair all frizzy, just so you know."

"See?" Eric pointed at Hyde. "I said that there was something else that Leo should've been doing, but no one believed me."

"What the hell, Eric?" Donna's eyes widened. "You guys saw Leo and didn't even tell him to go get her?"

Eric cleared his throat uncomfortably. "We were busy…working."

Melissa looked toward the ceiling and shouted. "You people suck something awful. I can't trust any of you." She looked at Steven momentarily. "I can only imagine leaving you with a baby. You'd probably let it get shipped off to Mexico by mistake. I'm hereby revoking your opportunity to become a parent."

He tried to shake it off, but he couldn't deny the fact that that comment had tugged at his heart strings a little. "Oh, how will my life ever be normal again," he scoffed. Steven struggled to swallow that lump in his throat, and he realized, from the look on Melissa's face, that he had just said that little inner thought aloud.

She gave an insulted shriek, yet said nothing as she turned on her heel and sloshed up the basement stairs. Melissa didn't have the energy to let him get to her, and she refused to blatantly put up with Hyde's childish attitude.

The basement fell silent for what seemed like hours, not one single person moved. Fez finally stood from one of the lawn chairs and walked toward the stairs.

"I will go check on her since none of you seem to care," he pouted, acting somewhat overdramatic. "You're all selfish bastards."

Hyde raised a brow. "Uh, Fez, man, you were at the Fotohut, too."

"So? I was not the one that was supposed to go pick her up, Hyde." He raced up the steps before Steven had the chance to hit him.

Melissa was standing at the Formans' kitchen sink, ringing out her hair and mumbling to herself in the process. What gave him the right to insult her? Steven Hyde wasn't a saint by far, so why did he always have to make out as if he were an innocent? One day, she would cram all those hateful words down his arrogant throat. She was determined to make him realize that her life—this baby's life—would not, could not revolve around him anymore.

Fez lightly pressed his hand to her back. "Are you okay, Missy?"

"I'm fine," she replied through gritted teeth as she tugged roughly on her hair.

"You do not seem fine."

Melissa took note of the concern in his voice and turned to face him. "I am. He's said those types of things to me before, so I shouldn't be that surprised."

"It is probably Hyde's way of showing that he cares," Fez offered with a smile.

She smiled, nodding. "I know he didn't mean what he said. He's just acting out because he doesn't want to admit that he did something wrong. He'll inadvertently be begging for my forgiveness later on."

Fez stepped back in apprehension, trying his best to ignore the crazed look in her eyes. "Oh, Melissa, I do not like the sound of where this is going. Please, do not do anything to put Hyde into the hospital."

She giggled. "Oh, Fezzie, I would never do a thing like that. I'm just going to make him wish that he had never been born."


	19. Chapter 18

**A/N: Okay, so I thought, I'd kind of explain a little about what's going on in this chapter. Now, I'm setting up and elaborating--adding a twist--on Jackie and Hyde's relationship (before season five), not to give it all away. I hope ya'll enjoy!**

* * *

Steven knew, without opening his eyes, that he was being watched. He lay in bed, hoping that, if he kept his eyes shut long enough, the looming presence would leave. The reason he moved into the bedroom in the Formans' basement was for the solitude. If he had wanted to obtain that uncomfortable feeling of being watched, he would have demanded a room with windows. Steven's body tensed up underneath his bed sheets as he felt the intruder's hot breath on the side of his face.

He rolled over, mumbling, "What the hell do you want, man?"

"Stevey? Are you up?"

"No," he snapped, rolling back onto his side. "You're just talking to yourself. Now, sleep-walk your way back home, man."

"Steven," Melissa whispered, "this is important."

"Nothing's more important than sleeping."

She shook him to keep him from slipping back into his slumber. "Please, stay awake long enough to listen to me."

He groaned and sat up. There was a loud thump, as he accidentally knocked Melissa off the bed. Grabbing at the pull string above his head, he quickly staggered to his feet. He squinted while his eyes tried to adjust to the sudden burst of light that filled the nine-by-twelve square- foot area.

She hesitated a moment, and then said, "I'm having some wicked cravings."

"What the hell, man!" Steven's voice rose slightly. "You woke me up because you're having cravings?" He groaned, snuggled back down under his covers, and turned his back to her. "Just go raid Forman's fridge, man. I'm going back to sleep. Shut the light off when you leave."

"I don't want anything from Eric's fridge," she pouted, nudging at him, pleading for him to face her. "I want a triple-thick chocolate shake, side of fries to dip in the shake, a double-patty cheese burger, hold the cheese, and a large side order of pickles."

"Forget it, man."

"Steven…"

"No, you can't keep switching sides. First you hate me, and now you won't leave me alone. This good and evil routine is gettin' boring."

Melissa sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed. Hyde could feel her big doe eyes bearing down on him. In response to that, he buried his head beneath his pillow.

"Look, I'm really sorry about losing my cool, but I had a good reason to. Anyway, I'm willing to let this all be water under the bridge, if you do me this one favor."

"Go away!"

"Look, I wouldn't even come to you, but this is a life or death situation. Do you honestly want this baby to go hungry because you think I'm a fruitcake?"

Steven was motionless, silent for a moment. She had used a similar line with him the night before, and he had given in. In fact, he had gotten up almost every time he was summoned. Melissa was going to have him house broken before it was over with. He was frightened to think that he might not have the ability to keep his indifference for five more months.

"No," he groaned, throwing off the covers. "Go wait in the basement. I'll be out in a minute."

Melissa smiled, obviously pleased with herself, and complied with his demand. She slipped out of the room, into the basement, and took a seat on the sofa.

Steven emerged a few moments later, his favorite pair of boots in hand. Yawning, and with one hand, he finished pulling a black concert t-shirt down over his stomach. Melissa turned her body slightly and looked at him, as if waiting for him to speak, but he just stared at her momentarily and said nothing. In sock clad feet, he walked in front of her and sat down in his chair.

Hyde gave another glance in her direction and then commenced to putting on his boots. "Where exactly am I supposed to get this food of yours this early in the morning?"

"What about Fatso Burger or The Hub?"

"Yeah, I'm really sure they're open at 1 a.m., man," he scoffed.

"Oh, that's right," she nodded, pausing.

He grunted in irritation. She could've come to that obvious conclusion before she had roused him from sleep.

"Oh, well, I'm sure you can find some place. Just hurry back, okay?"

That was it? That's all she could come up with? She was lucky that he was too dead on his feet to tell her where to stick that lengthy food order.

"Whatever, man," Steven gritted his teeth, rising from his chair. He sauntered toward the basement door, opened it, and ill-temperedly stomped his way up the concrete stairs.

Hyde took a deep relieved breath of the crisp summer air, as he frolicked happily in an endless field of bright yellow daisies. He paused in mid-leap and scowled. What the hell was he doing? He hated daises—he hated flowers in general, but the whole frolicking in them like a girl, was a disgrace to burn outs everywhere.

This place, this isolated field of nauseating beauty, held no familiarity. Hyde wasn't even clear on how he had gotten here in the first place. He found himself running, but from what, he didn't know. The field of yellow stretched for miles, with no ending. The further he ran, the more he found himself being swallowed by the nothingness.

"Hello? Can anyone hear me, man?" Steven cried out, only to hear the dismal sound of his echo. He sighed and finally stopped running. He hunkered over, trying to catch his breath. "This is frickin' worse than death."

Two faint laughs, neither sounding that far way, caused Hyde to quickly jerk his head up. He squinted, trying to make out the two blurred figures in the distance.

"C'mon, Stevey," Melissa called, her joyous laughter lingering within the wind. "We're waiting, Stevey. Don't you want to come with us?"

"Missy!" he shouted back, feeling overwhelmed by the fact that he wasn't alone. Desperate to reach the two people that were waiting on him, Steven picked up his pace.

The emptiness that he had felt before seemed to dissipate, as he neared his destination. Melissa stood, holding hands with a small boy of about three. Hyde looked from her, to the boy, and then back to her again.

"I'm glad you that you didn't miss us," she giggled, holding out her hand to him.

"Missy…what the..."

The young boy's deep blue eyes met Steven's. He frowned slightly. "Daddy, what's wrong? You'd never leave me, would you, Daddy?"

As the boy's tiny hand reached for his, Steven could feel himself being ripped from them by some other divine power. He wanted to stay—was trying with all his might to stay—as he heard the boy, apparently his son, crying out his name. He watched helplessly as his family slipped further from his view, and then he was left alone once more.

_Honk! Honk! Honk!_ _Honk!_ The person in the car, behind Steven's El Camino, was laying heavily on the horn. Steven quickly jerked his head up. Dazed, and with the imprint of the steering wheel now on his forehead, he struggled to gain some recollection of where he was. His car had been parked in the Fatso Burger drive-thru since about one-thirty, as he waited for it to open. During that wait, he had fallen asleep and now had a huge line of cars waiting behind him.

"What can I get you?" an annoyed voice asked, probably for the hundredth time.

Steven thought a moment, but couldn't remember Melissa's exact specifications. He leaned out his window and spoke into the speaker, which was inside the mouth of the enormous plastic Fatso Burger clown, "Hey, man, what can I get for ten bucks?"

"…Uh, like, a small fry and a drink, dude."

"I'll take that. Can it be a milkshake to drink, instead?"

"Whatever. Drive around to the window, please."

When Steven finally got back to the basement, he found Melissa passed out on the couch, her head hanging of the side of it, and her mouth wide open. He cringed at the sound of her thunderous snores as they ricocheted off the walls. He stepped inside and slammed the door.

Melissa gave a startled snort and jointed upright. She stared at him wild-eyed, her body almost trembling from the sudden shock.

"Oh," he smirked. "You're up."

"Why the heck did you have to go and do that?"

He tossed her bag of food into her lap and handed her the kid-size milkshake. "Payback, man" he replied, bypassing his chair and heading for the basement stairs.

Melissa frowned, looking inside the bag. "Hey! Where's my burger and side order of pickles?" She turned around to look at him.

Pausing, once he reached the base of the stairs, he briefly turned toward her, and answered, "They were out." He then walked up the stairs and left her alone.

Hyde slipped quietly into the Formans' dark kitchen. He felt along the wall for the light switch and flipped it on. As quietly as he could, he stepped toward the counter and began rummaging through the over-head cabinet for coffee. Finding Mrs. Forman's secret stash of the expensive imported tea, instead, he shrugged and decided to give it a shot. Tea drinking was for chicks, the English, and Fez, but seeing as he was the only one present in the kitchen, he felt like he could briefly step out of bounds. He filled Mrs. Forman's brass tea kettle with water and then walked to the stove behind him. He turned on a burner and gently placed the kettle on top of it.

Steven tossed a pair of tea bags and a green coffee mug onto the counter. He stood, waiting for the water to boil. After a few moments, when he heard the faint start of a whistle, he grabbed a pot holder from a nearby drawer. Steven turned the burner on low, and then he wrapped the pot holder around the handle of the kettle and lifted it quickly from the stove before the obnoxious whistle woke the whole house. Carefully, he poured the piping-hot water into his mug and sat the pot back on the stove, with the burner on low. Meandering over to the kitchen table, he took a seat and methodically began to dunk the tea bags into his cup.

Boy, what a start to his summer vacation. Here he was, up at six-thirty, which was an abomination in itself. In eighteen summers, he had never gotten up before at least two in the afternoon. Steven grunted aloud, aggravation smoldering—probably hotter than the tea in his cup—inside his tired veins. Blowing on his drink, he took a sip, then sighed, and sat the mug down on the table. He just had to keep reminding himself that he was doing this for the kid.

"Steven, honey," Kitty came bustling through the kitchen door. She clearly didn't want him to see her in her fuzzy pink bathrobe and hot rollers. "What on earth are you doing up this early? I usually have to pry you out of bed."

"I couldn't sleep, well, I was trying to sleep," he replied, looking up at her from the rim of his cup, "but some pregnant chick kept whispering in my ear, so I decided to get up."

Kitty batted her eyes at him, as if she hadn't registered what he had just said. "Oh, Melissa's here. Why doesn't she come up for some breakfast?" As she began to prepare for her usual monstrous morning breakfast, she took notice of her kettle. She turned slowly to face him, her brows knit together. "Steven…sweetheart…were you making tea? Were you making my expensive tea?"

"Yeah," he shrugged. "Sorry, Mrs. Forman, I couldn't find the coffee."

She chuckled, knowing exactly what he must've been thinking. "Don't worry, I won't tell the other boys that you know how to make tea." She returned to her task, going to the refrigerator for some ingredients. "Now, honey, do you want eggs, waffles, or pancakes?"

"That's a tough one, Mrs. F., but I think I'll have the pancakes."

"Great. You just sit there and finish your tea. Then run down and get Melissa."

"I don't think she'll be hungry. She's inhaling a pound of food as we speak, and I'm beggin' you, man. Don't throw me into the pack of wolves 'cause I can't take it anymore!"

"Oh, honey, I'm sure that's an exaggeration."

"No, Melissa being a sweet, innocent, angel would be an exaggeration. Do you know that, for the past week, she's woke me up every morning with some kind of new excuse." He started to mimic her supposedly innocent whimper, "Steven, I'm hungry. Steven, wanna feel the baby kick? Steven, I can't sleep. Steven, are you up, yet? Steven, Steven! If I hear her say my name one more time, I'll scream, man!"

Melissa was practically skipping into the kitchen, licking the grease from her fingers. "Steven," she sang. "Steven…"

"Ah, crap. Can't you freakin' give me one minute alone, man?"

She giggled, taking a seat next to him. "I already did, remember? I left you alone when you went the bathroom. That was a whole five minutes, in fact."

Kitty, overhearing, looked up from her bowl of pancake batter. "Oh, Missy, sweetheart," she frowned slightly, shaking her head. "You really should give Steven a break, and, honey, you really shouldn't be eating all that grease. Why don't you have some pancakes, instead?"

"Sure, load me up, Mrs. Forman."

Steven nearly choked on his tea. "What the hell, man? You got me up for food, and now you're eating again? Put a freakin' cork in it, you bottomless pit!"

"Honey," Kitty explained, flipping over a stack of pancakes in the frying pan. "A pregnant woman will always be a bottomless pit. That's just one of the many joys in being with child." She tossed her head back and laughed. "When I was pregnant with Laurie, Red used to always tell me how beautiful I was sucking down that rack of ribs. It was so sweet."

Melissa turned to Steven, batting her eyelashes. "Steven, do you think I'm pretty when I'm sucking down a pound of cheeseburgers?"

"In some other countries, I bet you are."

She grinned, patting his arm. "That's sweet of you to say." She tapped her hand on the table. "Anyway, Steven, I came up here just to let you know that I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon. I was gonna tell you later, but I'm already here, so yeah."

"Look, man," he began, folding his hands together. "I can't go with you this time."

She gasped, staring at him wide-eyed. She couldn't have heard him correctly. "I beg your pardon? You're my ride, you have to go."

"Well, I'm not today. Mrs. Forman, you could take her, right?"

Kitty paused, knowing that she shouldn't get involved in this conversation. She turned slowly, with two plates, stacked with pancakes, in her hands. "Oh, I don't think I should, honey. I mean, this is a special bond that the two of you share." She smiled, sitting the plates on the table.

"C'mon, man, this is something you women can bond over."

"Steven," Melissa gasped again, clutching her hand over her heart. "You should be ashamed of yourself. You are willing to throw away a beautiful moment in your life all because you think I'm in need of some womanly bonding?"

"Yep."

She glared at him, her eyes nearly slits. "I have never, in all my life…You are going to the doctor with me, and I'm not taking no for an answer, mister!"

He growled, slinging his cup at her, "Fine! Whatever, man, I'll go, but only if it means that you'll give me two hours of freedom!" He stood up, nearly bumping into Mrs. Forman, as he made a beeline for the basement.

Steven was still seething from anger, his arms folded across his chest, and his jaw clenched so hard it was hurting. Jackie sat on the far end—the end closest to him—of the couch. She was pretending to watch television, but really, Hyde could tell that she was dying to make a comment.

"You know," she laughed, finally turning to face him, "you brought this all on yourself, Steven. If you didn't glue yourself to Missy's side, and do every little thing she says, you wouldn't have to deal with her insane pregnancy mood swings."

"I don't want to deal with _this_ right now, Jackie."

She waved a dismissive hand. "I'm just saying that you're her little whipping boy. Do you realize that you even _buy_ her stuff?" A bit of hurt flashed across her face and then disappeared just as quickly. "You never bought me anything, and I'm actually worth spending money on."

Christ, Steven had thought that little piece of history was behind them. Sure, he and Jackie had a little undisclosed fling a few years go. It had lasted about three seconds, just long enough for the two to regain their sanity. They had been two desperate people, in the right place, at the right time. She and Kelso had broken up for the hundredth time, so she had come running to Hyde for comfort—like usual. At the time, he had been going through a depressing period in his life, also. Donna had put an abrupt end to his pursuit of her, and then he had to deal with his abandonment. Even though she held no hostility toward him for ending their brief affair, Jackie still loved to watch him squirm whenever she made references to it.

Hyde suddenly tore himself from his thoughts, realizing that Jackie was staring at him, waiting for his snappy comeback. He grunted casually, picking up a magazine. "Well, you weren't pregnant, and don't you have Kelso to buy you crap?"

She rolled her eyes and snarled. "I wouldn't trust Michael to buy me a tube of lipstick. You know, one time, I sent him to the store to buy my dad a birthday card, and he came back with a handful of miniature bottle rockets."

If the conversation was about to switch to Jackie sharing emotions, he was going to get out while he could. "Well, yeah, okay," he stood, stretching. "If you're gonna to start babbling about how much you love Kelso, but he's still a moron, I'm leaving."

"Steven, your two hours are up, so ready or not, here I come," Melissa warned, her heavy footsteps thumping down the stairs.

Hyde jumped, grabbing Jackie by the arm, "C'mon, let's bail, man."

Jackie was frazzled, stumbling as she was drug toward the basement door. "Wait, where are we going, Steven?"

"I don't know," he snapped, frantically shoving her out the door. "I haven't thought that far, just get to the El Camino before she makes it down stairs. She can smell fear, man!" He kept pushing her out the door and quickly slammed it behind them.

Melissa frowned, looking around the empty basement. Pensively, she bit her lower lip, put her hands on her hips, and tapped her foot. "Now, that's just uncalled for." She turned toward the stairs, and yelled, "Hey, Mrs. Forman, do you think Fez knows how to drive a car?"

The Fotohut—Steven's home away from…Forman's basement. He found solace in knowing that this was the one place where Melissa was less-likely to follow him. Even though he hated a working environment, and spending the majority of his time with Jackie, it was much better than being harassed. Sighing thankfully, he opened the door.

Where was that embarrassing girlish scream coming from? He could've sworn that it was Forman's scream, but unfortunately, it was his own. When his eyes fell on Melissa, Hyde nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Oh, hey, dude," Leo was looking even more confused than usual and kept his gaze on Melissa. "She's says she works here, man, but the funny thing is, I don't remember you ever hiring her, dude."

Steven took a few steps toward the drive-thru window, where Melissa stood, actually doing her job. "Missy, what the hell are you doing here, man?"

"Working, silly," she giggled, turning to him.

"Since when did we agree that you could actually start working? You being here would imply that I'm required to be around you."

"Yeah," Jackie nodded, pointing a finger at her. "The only one he's required to be around is me, so you'd better back off."

Melissa chuckled, shaking her head at Jackie. "He's the adopted father of my illegitimate child with another man, so I think he is kind of required to be around me."

Leo's eyes widened, and he laughed slightly. "Dude, Hyde, man." He slapped Steven on the back, "You're gonna be a dad? You should've told me, dude. We could've have, like, celebrated or something. I think I have some fruitcake around here somewhere, dude. Did I ever tell you how much I love fruitcake, man? It's like a dessert and cake, all at the same time. It's wild, dude!"

He stared at her a moment. "Why do you keep doing this to me, man?" he asked, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Melissa turned to stare at him again. She could see it was taking all the zen that he could muster to keep his cool. She should've felt bad for him, but this was payback for disrespecting her. Melissa's expression went cold—the same cold stare she had received from Hyde countless times.

In a sweet innocent tone, she replied, "I'm not doing anything, and if I were, it's only with good intentions in mind."

On the defensive again, for some odd reason, Jackie took a step in front of Steven, almost knocking him into Leo. She glared at Melissa, her eyes narrow. "You've got good intentions," she scoffed. "Yeah, and I'm the queen of Cuba. Don't, for one second, think that you've got us fooled. You're faker than my mom's tan."

"I have no idea what you're getting at, but I would greatly appreciate it, if you wouldn't speak to me in such an insolent tone, Jackie."

"I'll talk to you how ever I want, and you know exactly what I'm getting at!"

Melissa folded her arms, trying to play dumb. "No, I'm not sure I do."

"Well, I'll say it in words that you can understand," Jackie feigned a smile, and then her voice rose to an ear-splitting shrill, "Leave Steven alone, you scraggly weirdo!"

Steven groaned, removing his hands from his ears. "I can take care of myself, Jackie." He looked at Melissa, "But, yeah, what she said."

Melissa giggled again, as she shoved Jackie out of her way. She pinched Hyde's cheek. "That's so cute. This is just like the old days, remember? You wanted me to get out of your hair, but I lovingly continued to stalk you like prey."

"You still are, man," he scowled, pulling away, "so nothing's changed."

"Eh, well," she shrugged, turning to give a customer an order, "at least I'm not coming over at night to sing you to sleep, even though you were already asleep."

"Yeah, that was a little creepy. I'm just glad you quit using the, 'I'm scared you're gonna stop breathing in your sleep' excuse."

"It's true, dude," Leo nodded, busy searching aimlessly through the pockets of his jacket. "I stopped breathing in my sleep, once, man, and when I woke up, I had my face buried in my pillow. It was really scary, dude. I could've died, man."

Leaning against the drive-thru window, Melissa turned back to Steven. He was now sitting on the counter. "I'm really not trying to get on you're nerves," she explained. "I just thought, since you're taking me to the doctor, it would be easier to do so from work. That's why I'm here."

He stared at her a moment, and shrugged, "Yeah, I guess that kinda makes sense, just keep on your side of the hut, man."

"What!" Jackie's eye grew wide in horror. "That's all you have to say to her? After all she's put you through the last couple of days, and you're just going to shrug it off!"

Steven turned to her, looked at her a moment, and shrugged, "Whatever."

Distraught, Jackie glanced at Leo—the only male in the room that seemed to hold any intelligence. "I don't believe this."

"I don't believe it, either, man," Leo nodded, sounding equally upset. "Wait, what am I not believing?"

"You've cracked, Steven Hyde, you have cracked! The Steven that I know wouldn't be zen while some helpless nut-job gets him to be her little slave. She's pregnant, so what? Who cares? I sure don't. This whole I-have-to-help-Missy-because-she's-doing-this-on-her-own thing is getting really old."

Jackie was now in full-blown ranting mode, not even taking a breath, as she continued screaming at the top of her lungs. "You must be much more stupid than I thought you were, because you obviously can't tell that she's using you." She was aggressively poking herself in the chest. "I should know. I'm the queen of using people."

Steven stood, not blinking, or showing any emotion for that matter. Though, he was secretly a bit unnerved, because he couldn't recall Jackie ever being this upset, not counting the times she'd found out that Kelso was cheating on her.

"Oh, my God," Jackie squawked, throwing her hands into the air. "You're actually taking my yelling at you, too! I can't believe you don't even have a sarcastic remark to make. You always have some stupid thing to say to everything that I say!"

He stared, shrugged, and said, "Yeah, well, I kinda stopped listening after you started that annoying shrieking thing you do."

Melissa was struggling to keep a smile from spreading across her face. As she watched Jackie's somewhat entertaining meltdown, she was filled with an almost sinister sense of satisfaction. Hyde had chosen her over his friends, and most importantly, over his pride.

Jackie blinked slowly, her mouth agape. "You are such a…a…jerk!" Embarrassed and insulted, she kicked Steven in the knee and then took a dramatic leave.

"Dude," Leo's mouth hung open, pointing at the door that had just been slammed. "If loud girl breaks the door, the boss is gonna flip, man."

Melissa sides were in agony as she stifled her laughter. "Well, that was interesting. It's almost like the queen of Cuba has a thing for you, Stevey?" She batted her eyes at him, her fingers sprinting across the air. "Aren't you going to go running after her like the rugged prince charming that you are?"

"Did you and Jackie switch personalities, for a day, or somethin', man?" he spat, pushing Melissa aside. "Just sit here, wait for the doctor's thing, and make sure that Leo doesn't try to eat a whole roll of film again."

"Fine," she grinned, chuckling a little. "Whatever you say, Stevey, just don't sic the annoying queen of Cuba on me."

Melissa was sitting on the examining table, her gaze to the floor, and swinging her legs back and forth. Steven was sitting in the chair across from her, flipping through the pages of a car magazine. He hadn't spoken to her. As a matter of fact, he hadn't even glanced at her since they had left the Fotohut. She looked up, hoping that she could telepathically get him to look in her direction; but of course, he didn't.

"Look," she sighed, "I'm sorry, if the things I said at the Fotohut got you angry, I was only joking around. And, well, to be honest, you pick on me an awful lot, but I don't say anything—mostly because I can't come up with anything that's equally obnoxious. It took me the entire time Jackie was rambling to come up with what I had."

Steven stopped turning the pages of his magazine and gave her an expression that said he could care less. "Yeah, whatever, you only said it b'cause you were jealous."

"I am not jealous of Jackie," she scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"Sure you aren't."

Just like that, Steven had reminded her why she was hell bent on irritating him. Once again, he had effortlessly found a way to get under her skin. She turned away from him. "You are so full of yourself that it's pathetic. You really are a giant donkey!"

Hyde's head jolted up, his brow rose. "For give me, but I thought we were supposed to be using big-people words now that we're in high school. I believe the correct word you're looking for is 'jackass.' If you prefer, you could simply refer to me as an 'ass'."

Melissa's head jerked in his direction, her eyes narrow. She was about to make a remark, but was quickly halted. She jumped at the feel of light movement in her stomach. "Steven," she giggled, rubbing her hand across her stomach, "you've got to come feel this."

"No way, man," he said quickly, returning his attention to his magazine. "There's no way I'm touchin' your stomach."

Her tone went to that unsettling satanic growl. "Get your grouchy butt up, out of that chair, come over here, and grab my dang stomach, or you'll have a bruise on that other knee, young man!"

Hyde grumbled and rose stiffly from the chair. She was looking back at him, excitement filling her face. With another grumble and an eye roll, he begrudgingly placed a hand on Melissa's stomach.

"Do you feel that?" she asked, suddenly whispering.

He felt nothing. Scowling, he replied, "I feel a whole lot of nothing. You probably have a case of gas like the last time."

The significant moment was ruined. "It's not gas, Mr. I-Have-To-Be-A-Dillhole," she snarled, rolling her eyes. "Quit being a smarty-britches, just be patient."

He sighed, leaning against the examining table. Melissa's hand instantly clasped around his, and he fought the urge to move away. He flinched, but was soothed by the stroking of her thumb against his hand; Steven momentarily forgot that he wasn't supposed to give a damn.

Drawing in a sharp breath, he stared, almost mesmerized, as he felt her stomach move beneath his hand. It was incredible, and for the first time, he was left without words.

Melissa stared at him, smiling. She clutched his hand tighter. "It's really something, isn't it?" Hyde didn't respond, only staring—that parental glow seemed to surround him. She couldn't help adding to his swelling ego. "You know, I don't think I could've picked a better person to experience this with. I'm so glad that that baby in there is going to be yours."

"Yeah, I guess that's pretty cool," he smirked, not removing his hand. He felt another wave of soft movement the moment he spoke—almost as if the fetus recognized the sound of his voice. That was his kid, and he wasn't going to let Melissa's spastic mood swings, or any human being on the planet for that matter, come between the two of them.


	20. Chapter 19

Laurie had dropped off the face of the earth several months ago. She didn't phone or even write the sub-humans that she sometimes called family. Yet, on those rare occasions, such as this particular day, she would miraculously wander into the Formans' kitchen and pretend that she'd been there the whole time.

"Hi, Mommy," she greeted flamboyantly, her arms outstretched and ready to embrace her forgotten mother.

Steven sat, next to Melissa, at the kitchen table, and he observed the tall, still whorishly-dressed, and disgustingly-tanned blonde. "Missy, I don't believe you've met the town whore," he smirked, speaking loud enough for Laurie to hear.

From over her shoulder, Laurie cast him a cold stare.

"Oh, wait. That's right you have. She just hasn't been home."

Kitty was far too busy preparing lunch to scorn Steven for his truthful, but inappropriate, remark. She briefly glanced at her estranged child and then carried a plate of sandwiches to the other, more appreciative children, sitting at the table. She gave Melissa a smile and lightly ruffled Steven's curls. Finally, she turned, gave her daughter another distant stare, and returned to the counter for the tea pitcher.

"Laurie, honey, it's so nice to see you," Kitty forced a laugh to cover up the astringent hitch in her tone. She poured two glasses of tea and then sat them on the table. For no particular reason, other than the fact that she was obviously frazzled, Mrs. Forman pulled out some cleaner and a sponge, from beneath the counter, and then began scrubbing the stove like a mad woman.

Laurie looked confused, but conjured up the best pouting face in her repertoire. "I've been super busy with college, but I was going to get around to calling you, eventually. Oh, I've missed you and Daddy so much."

"Sweetheart, now, we both know that that's not the truth," Kitty scorned, laughing out of habit, and slinging the sponge clear across the counter space. "Why don't you start by telling me why you're really paying us this unexpected visit?"

Before she realized the words that had escaped her mouth, Melissa landed an effortless, Steven Hyde, quality burn. "She's all out of her hooker money and needs a place to regroup."

Hyde snorted in his cup and began choking from laughter.

Laurie slowly turned, her lips pursed tightly, and then she smiled. "Oh, Missy, you're still here? I thought you'd still be out looking for your baby's daddy."

Melissa's face paled, and she sunk down in her seat. Stuffing her sandwich in her mouth, she cast Hyde a heart-breaking look.

"And I thought you'd make a killin' out on your street corner," Steven snapped, quickly coming to her defense, "so it looks like we both made a mistake."

"Kids, kids," Kitty interrupted, waving a hand into the air. "There'll be no name-calling in my kitchen. I haven't even had my first afternoon drink, yet." She stepped away from the counter and gestured for Laurie to have a seat, so that she could fix her a sandwich.

"Mommy, are you gonna let them insult me like that?" Laurie pouted, flopping down in a chair, across from the duo.

"Of course not, honey," Kitty smiled, going to the other counter for some bread. "Melissa, Steven, Laurie didn't come home because she's out of 'hooker money.'" Quickly spreading a layer of mayonnaise onto a slice of bread, she looked at the children and laughed slightly. "She'd only come home, if she's flunked out of college again." She looked from her other children, to Laurie, "You've flunked out, haven't you, dear?"

"Yeah," she replied, looking down at the table.

Steven couldn't help, but make another witty remark. "Flunked out, huh? Damn, I would've guessed another explicit affair with a married professor—again."

Kitty stared him down, crossing her arms. "Steven, honey, you and Melissa finish your lunches in the basement. If you two behave, I'll bake some cookies, later on."

Hyde shrugged, stood up, and impulsively grabbed Melissa by the arm. "Yeah, okay, cool." As if she needed his assistance, he helped her to her feet, and then he turned his attention back to Laurie. "See ya around, whore. Excuse me, I mean, Laurie."

Melissa giggled slightly, as Steven coaxed her toward the basement door. While they descended down the stairs, the pair could hear Mrs. Forman's distraught voice.

"Oh, sweetheart, you're not sleeping with one of your professors, are you?"

Steven had put on an Alice Cooper record, which Melissa detested, but said nothing as she took her place on the couch. He glanced at the magazines and books that were spread across the coffee table; he handed Melissa the book she had been reading about newborn babies. After propping Melissa's feet up and picking up a magazine for himself, Hyde took a seat in his chair.

Without looking up from her book, Melissa asked, "Hey, Steven, would you mind getting me a Popsicle?"

He was mid-stride to the deep freeze by the time he realized what he was doing. He paused. Great, now he was doing nice things for her out of habit. He reached inside the deep freeze and grabbed the last Popsicle in the box. Leave it to him to want a Popsicle, now.

He tossed her the Popsicle and sat back down. By the time he'd thought of something sarcastic to say to her, the moment had passed, so he reluctantly let it go.

Melissa put her book down, turning to face him. "Hey, Steven, can I ask you something?"

"If I were to answer honestly," Hyde began, returning to his magazine, "I'd say no, but seeing as you'll ask it anyway, I'm at a loss."

"Why are you and Eric's sister constantly butting heads?"

"The fact that she's a frickin' bitch might have something to with it."

"That's not a direct answer."

He stopped flipping through pages, looked at her, and threw the magazine back on the table. "Well, I could ask you why you have a beef with her, but I don't really care."

She chuckled lightly, giving a dismissive gesture. "Oh, please, that burn was a pure accident. Besides, I don't really know her. I don't like her, because you don't like her."

"Awww," he mockingly cooed, folding his arms across his chest. "That's so sweet that it makes me wanna hurl."

"Seriously, are you going answer my question?"

Hyde stared at her in debate. Did he really want to share intimate issues from his past? Hell no, but she was going to drag it out of him one way or another, so he decided to get the torment over with.

"Fine," he sighed. "It all started with my step-dad."

"Which step-dad are you talking about, the one in prison, or the other one in Canada...in prison?"

"The first one, John, or his name could've been Greg, but whatever. Now, keep up."

"Okay, okay, continue."

"Anyway, several years back, Laurie met my step-dad at some high school party, where he was cruisin' for underage chicks, and well, she did it with him, behind some dude's bushes. This is before he met Edna, though."

Melissa gasped, covering her mouth with one hand. "That's disgusting."

"Oh, that's nothing, man. A couple years later, she ended up nailin' my older half-brother, Dave. See, I don't just hate her b'cause of friendly rivalry. I hate her because she's managed to sleep her way down my entire family tree. I still think she broke up my mom's fourth marriage to what's-his-face. Forman's sister will go after any guy who'll give her a second look."

"So," Melissa inquired, rather jealously, "have you done the deed with Laurie? Ya know, seeing as she's 'slept her way down your entire family tree'?"

He shrieked, nearly falling out of his chair. "What the hell, man? Are you freakin' new to society? I'd rather jump off a cliff and land on a bunch of frickin' jagged rocks than come anywhere close to doin' it with her."

She grinned, comfortably leaning back. "Well, that's good to hear."

"Besides, man," Hyde grunted, propping his chair back on to two legs, "I got an up-and-coming family to worry about, so my sex life is teaterin' on the brink of extinction as we speak."

Melissa's eyelashes fluttered, and she gave a sigh of adoration. "Oh, Stevey, do you really consider me part of your family?"

"Yeah, well, next to Forman's family, you're as good as it's gonna get."

"That's really awesome," she grinned, turning her attention back to the baby book. "Well, then, since we're family, can I ask you another question?"

He raised a brow, picking up his magazine, "Yeah, whatever."

"Can we please turn this crap off? This kind of music could cause the baby's intellect to be underdeveloped, and I don't know about you, but I don't want another Kelso running around."

He shrugged in response, but made no effort to comply with her request. "Hey, man, you wanna grab a bite at The Hub?"

Melissa chuckled lighting, staring at him with a raised brow. "We just ate."

Hyde rose to his feet and started walking toward the door. "So, I want some ice cream, and I don't know why you're sayin' anything because you know I'll end up buyin', so are you comin' or what?" He flicked off the stereo and opened the door.

Smiling, Melissa gently sat her book down, stood up, and followed Steven out the door.

Steven and Melissa stood at the ordering counter, waiting on their milkshakes. Once again, Frank was taking his sweet time in delivering their order, and it was getting rather aggravating. Hyde was so annoyed that he didn't even pay attention the fact the Melissa was behind him, with her chin resting on his shoulder, her breath hot on the side of his neck.

"Damn it, Frank!" he yelled, poking his head inside the ordering window. Frank was leaning against the kitchen stove, yapping on the telephone. "We've been waiting out here forever, man. You'd better be callin' Milwaukee b'cause you forgot how to put milk and ice cream together. If not, I'm comin' over this counter to kick your ass."

Frank glared at him and cupped his hand over the phone. "I'll be with you in a minute, Hyde, so shut the hell up, dude."

"You've got two seconds. I got a pregnant chick here, and she gets violent when she's angry. I'm not havin' all that rage focused on me, man!"

"Yeah," Melissa yelled, leaning over the counter. "If you don't get a move on, I'll have Steven lift me up over this counter, and then I'll rip off your head and spit down your throat, capiche?"

Hyde furrowed his brow. "You have been watching _The Exorcist_ way too much, man."

"I'm talking to my mistress," Frank explained, sighing. "Like I said, just give me a minute, and two vanilla milkshakes will come your way."

Melissa sighed, leaning against the counter, and putting her head in her hands. "Those shakes better be on the house because my feet are killing me," she grumbled, "and I'm seriously on the verge of really ripping that fat tub of lard's head right off his shoulders."

"Uh, Missy…" Steven looked a bit cautious, his brows arched.

"Sorry," she giggled, "just the hormones talking."

"Well, why don't you take some of that hormonal aggression out on the pinball machine?" he suggested, handing her a handful of quarters. "I'll bring over your shake in a couple of years."

She took the quarters, smiled, and skipped over to the pinball machine.

Hyde watched Melissa carefully, not that he knew exactly why he was watching so intently. He smirked at her squealing in delight every time she got a high score. In retrospect, her antics were enough to make him want to puke, but she was growing on him. Now that he thought about it, he'd do anything, with in reason, for her. Crap, now he was standing there gawking at her. Before she could catch him staring at her, he jerked his head and commenced to drumming his fingers impatiently on the counter.

The bell sang as the door to The Hub swung open. As if it were the voice of God calling him, Hyde was suddenly propelled to look in that direction. His fists automatically clenched. The dark-haired boy that came walking in reeked of confidence, grinning to some familiar faces.

"Peter," Steven growled, gritting his teeth. He cut his eyes to Frank, who had finally brought his order. He snatched the milkshakes from Frank's hands so quickly that he almost dropped them. He looked fretfully from Peter, and then to Melissa; thankfully, they hadn't spotted one another. Hyde had to get her out of there before all hell broke loose.

Dodging tables and hiding behind other people, he safely made his way over to the pinball machine. "Hey, man," he said, breathless, sitting Melissa's shake in front of her.

"Steven," she turned to him, concerned. "What were you doing, running a marathon?"

He laughed nervously. "Yeah, Yeah, do me a favor and keep it down." He threw an arm around her, attempting to keep her from looking in Peter's direction.

Melissa's brow furrowed in absolute confusion. She wanted to pull away, but he had her in an iron-vice grip. "Are you…hugging me?"

"Hey, let's head back to Forman's," he said, trying to move her toward the door.

"But, I've almost beat Kelso's score."

Steven looked anxiously over his shoulder. "We can come back tomorrow, okay? We have to get back to Forman's man because...because I left something important on and the house might burn down or somethin' like that."

"Okay, okay," she nodded, as Hyde drug her away.

He sighed in relief, his arm still clutched around her shoulder.

"Steven, are you feeling okay because you're, like, still totally hugging me?"

"Must be your lucky day, kid," he chuckled, ruffling her hair with his free hand.

Melissa reciprocated the gesture, but he shrugged her off. "What?"

"Nothing," he replied, as they walked to the El Camino, "I hate being touched."

She turned to him and laughed, opening her car door. "And what makes you think that I like being touched?" she asked, getting inside.

"Because I'm the one touchin' you, man," he smirked, shutting her door. He paused, looking into the glass window, and noticed that Peter was still unaware that they had been there. Steven sighed, opening his door. He got into the driver's seat and started the car.

Steven was breathing rather hard to just be sitting in the circle. He appeared to be on "high" alert. His eyes scanned the group, he and was obviously paranoid. Forman tossed him the spray can of whip cream. "Okay, man, I'm frickin' freaking out here."

"Really," Eric laughed, choking on smoke, "honestly, we couldn't tell."

Hyde sprayed a gob of whip cream into his mouth. "I'm not kidding, man," he continued, tossing the whip cream to Kelso. "There's some bad juju a-brewin'."

Kelso ignored the conversation for a brief second, so that he could give himself a perfect whip cream goatee. He looked up, laughed, and asked, "What happened, Hyde? Did you see Missy naked or something? I mean, that's the only reason I'd be upset 'cause, like, seeing her naked is like…Oh, I can't even go there."

"Naked?" Fez's ears perked up. "Who's naked? I want to see some boobs…some luscious whip cream-topped boobs."

"Peter's back," Steven said. Big dollops of whip cream decorated the lenses of his shades. "When Missy and I were at The Hub, he just came walkin' in. I mean, he shouldn't even be here, man. If Missy finds out, she's gonna be, like, upset and crying and stuff."

"Awww, Hyde," Eric batted his eyes, mockingly. "You really do have feelings. This is a historical moment…Wait, what the hell? Peter's back?"

"You know what you should do?" Kelso suggested, reaching over and swiping some cream from one of Hyde's lenses. "You should get Pete, like, totally trashed, right? Then, when he's passed out, steal his clothes and drive to some island like Egypt or some place and leave his naked butt out there in the middle of the ocean. It'd be freakin' wicked. Oh, but hey, give me his clothes, though, because they're totally bitchin'."

"Ladies and gentlemen," Eric began, using his best announcer's voice, "this has been a Kelso Moment, brought to you by the stupidity of Michael Kelso. Tune in next week, when Kelso figures out how to poke himself in the eye. I'm Eric Forman, thank you and good night, Wisconsin!" He giggled to himself. "That's, like, the greatest burn ever!"

"Kelso," Fez shook his head, "I don't think Egypt is an island, an island with an ocean."

Michael crossed his arms. "Well, of course it's an island, Fez. Islands are surrounded by water, and Egypt has, like, a ton of sand, so that could be considered an ocean. Hey, can you drown in sand?"

"Only the stupid people do, which I guess includes you," Fez laughed, "…a burn!"

"Anyway, guys," Hyde continued. "Peter returnin' has got me so out of it. I mean, I was so thrown off that I hugged Missy, today, man. And you know what? It wasn't too bad. She's all squishy like…Jell-O." He smiled, nodding. "Jell-O kicks ass, man. Hey, Forman, you and Captain Stupidity go make some Jell-O, man."

"Yeah, Fez," Kelso laughed, rocking. "You and Eric should go make Jell-O."

"I'm talkin' about you, moron," Hyde snapped, chucking the empty Reddiwip can at Kelso's head. "You're Captain Stupidity. Fez's Captain Perversion. After two years, you'd think that you had this down pat, man."

Eric came tromping down the stairs, carrying a huge bowl of lime Jell-O. By the time he and Kelso reached the bottom stair, he had already started eating his weight in it. He had been tormented by a relentless case of the munchies and hadn't really thought about, and could vaguely remember, the conversation that had taken place in the circle. But then, a thought struck him. He stopped abruptly, causing Kelso to run into him. With wide eyes, he turned to Hyde.

"Wait a minute," he wailed, flinging his wooden spoon, which sent a wad of Jell-O directly into Kelso's face. "Did you say that you hugged Missy, and…and you liked it?"

Caught off guard, Steven nearly fell backward in his chair. "What?" he laughed, half yelling. "Forman, you must still be delirious, man. I would never say somethin' like that."

"No, he's right," Fez nodded.

Kelso, still wiping green goop from his face, took a seat next to him. "I heard it, too."

"Look, man," he spat, pointing a finger in Fez's direction. "I don't know what you think you heard, but I can tell you it didn't come from me. I mean, me huggin' Missy, or anyone, for that matter, is kinda like sayin' Kelso's not a gigantic retard."

"Hey, dude," Kelso snapped, shaking his own wooden spoon at Hyde. "I may be a gigantic retard, but at least I've got the hot thing working for me."

Eric tossed Steven a spoon and then took his perch on the back of the couch.

Michael was ginning like an idiot, as he violently jabbed his spoon into the Jell-O and caused it to spew all over the place. When he looked up, he found himself being greeted by several disgruntled stares. "So, yeah, Hyde," he chuckled. "Peter's really back, huh?"

"No," Steven replied, sarcastically. "I just made him up. He's just a figment of my imagination."

"Huh? What do bits of color from your imagination have to do with Peter?"

"That's pigment, dumbass. I said figment, also known as an illusion."

"Well, damn, Hyde," Kelso wailed. "Why didn't you just say that? It's almost like I need to carry around a dictionary, just to talk to you."

Eric chuckled. "Okay, Kelso, that's it. Get in the Stupid Helmet."

"Oh, c'mon, that's not…"

"Helmet, now."

"Fine, whatever, man," Michael gave an indignant shriek, stood up, and stomped over to the speaker, which had the beat-up Green Bay Packer's helmet sitting on it. In a huff, he reluctantly put on the helmet.

"So, seriously, Hyde," Eric began, "why do you think Peter's back? Better yet, what's Missy's gonna say? Furthermore, have you even told her? She's gonna be, like, really upset, you know that right?"

"Forman," Hyde groaned, "I've just been through a really gnarly circle, man. Do I really have to deal with this episode of _Days of Our Lives_ right now?"

"I think you should make some sort of move before things get out of hand."

"What do you want me to do, Forman? Tell him not to make Missy cry, give him twenty bucks, and send him back to where he came from?"

"Gee," Eric snickered, "do you really think paying him is such a great idea? I mean, that went so well the first time."

Hyde jumped up from his chair, and he punched Eric in the arm so hard that it almost knocked him to the floor. "Shut up, you freakin' tool," he spat. He clenched his jaw and stormed toward the door.

"Where are you going, Hyde?" Fez asked. "Aren't you going to help us finish all this Jell-O?"

"I'm going to go do something," Steven replied, jerking the basement door open, "so finish it your damn selves, b'cause I'm too frickin' busy playin' superhero." He exited, slamming the door behind him.

Well, wasn't this ironic? Hyde had paid Peter to take Melissa off his hands, and now he was tempted to pay him, just to stay away. Steven was clutching, white-knuckled, to his steering wheel. A Led Zeppelin 8-Track was blaring on the radio, and it seemed to be the only thing calming his rattled nerves. He had been scouring the town, searching for the scumbag that was slowly ruining his life, or at least the parts of it that hadn't already been ruined.

"Where would a no-talented jock spend an afternoon?" he asked himself, squinting to see if Peter's car was in the parking lot of whatever buildings he past. He smirked, answering himself, "Bowling."

As Steven did a U-Turn, the El Camino's tires squealed. He sped down the street, toward the bowling alley. He jerked the car so violently into the parking lot that he had to hang on to the steering wheel to keep from sliding all the way to the passenger's side. The car groaned, as he slammed on breaks.

"Sorry, baby," he said, giving the dashboard a loving tap. "Desperate times, call for desperate measures, or something like that."

He shut off the engine and kept his eyes peeled for Peter's car. Sure enough, there was his blue Toyota, parked at the front of the building. Steven grumbled, getting out. He wrapped his thumbs around his belt loops and trudged toward the entrance.

Peter was just about ready to send his ball hurling down the lane, toward three standing pins, when Hyde's scream stopped him. He lost his concentration, sending his ball a good two lanes over, where he finally got a strike. He whirled around, wide-eyed, as the irate teenager came charging toward him.

"You and me need to talk, jackass," Hyde spat, grabbing him by the shirt collar.

"Okay, okay, dude, just mellow out," Peter stammered. And even though he could easily take Steven, he slowly backed away. "You're making a scene, dude."

"No, a scene would be me using your head as a freakin' bowling ball and then wiping the lanes with left over body parts."

Peter had the audacity to laugh a little. "Still pissed about the Missy thing, huh?"

"You knocked her up and then bailed, man. Excuse me, if I'm not jumping for joy."

"That was ages ago, dude."

"Try five months ago, moron."

"Yeah, well," Peter shrugged, "I just wasn't up for that responsibility."

Steven shoved him, threateningly. "You weren't ready, so does that mean you're ready now? Is that why you're back? You think you can just drop in, and she'll be all cool with it?"

"I never said she would be, Hyde," Peter retorted, with a shove of his own.

"That's why you better keep your distance, man," Steven greeted teeth, shoving him again. "Look, I don't give a damn why your back, but you'd better not come within two miles of her. If you do, you'll face some serious time in a hospital room, eating soup through a straw for the rest of your stupid little existence!"

"I never get tired of your creative little threats. They crack me up," Peter laughed, doubting Hyde's physical abilities.

"No, man, it's a bona fide promise."

Peter rolled is eyes. "I bet."

"If you wanna step outside, then we can see how serious I am, man," Hyde growled, getting into Peter's face, and obviously ready to snap his neck like a twig.

Backing off, throwing his hands into the air, as if admitting defeat, Peter responded, "Dude, take a chill pill. I don't want any confrontation."

"Then stay way from Melissa," Steven warned again. "Just go back to Kenosha, where your Cowardly Lion-ass belongs, and let her move on with her life."

"Fine, whatever," Peter sighed, extending his hand, offering a peace agreement. "I'll stay away, if you stay away from me."

"That shouldn't be too hard," Hyde nodded, shaking his hand aggressively. He stared the boy down once more, and then he turned to leave.

Peter laughed a little, going back to his game. "See ya later, dude."

Hyde stopped at the door and turned, "You'd better hope that there isn't a later, man."

She had devoured it. Melissa had single-handedly finished off that entire bowl of Jell-O, and Eric couldn't believe it. As she licked the spoon, he could only watch in amazement. "You, like," he stammered, "…that's, like…It's got to be a world record. Hey, are you still hungry because my mom's got a big bowl of cake batter in the fridge? I'm dying to see you inhale that."

"No, no," she smiled, patting his leg. "I'm good. Oh, I'm sorry, did you want some? I can make you some more, if you do."

"Nope, I'm good, but thanks."

"Well, I do," Kelso snapped. "You ate the whole damn thing, you horse. I mean, besides it all turning to whale blubber, where do you put that crap load of food?"

"Oh, Kelso," Fez frowned, "it doesn't turn into whale blubber..."

Melissa smiled. "Thanks, Fez."

"You should know that people do not have whale blubber. All her food turns to fat, just fat, not whale fat, but people fat."

She looked at Fez and was seconds away from sobbing. She had random crying fits a lot these days. And the only person that was prepared for such a breakdown was Hyde, but he was nowhere to be found.

Eric leapt up, in panic, from the couch. "Oh, crap, she's gonna cry. What do we do? Where's Hyde? Quick someone think of something."

Michael was the only one that didn't seem to care. He looked at Melissa and shrugged. "I don't know. Give her some more food. That seems to do the trick."

Melissa threw her head back and gave a loud cry. Tears began falling from her eyes like a waterfall; earsplitting sobs racked her body. She was practically yelling at Kelso, "I'm not fat…I'm just, I'm just…I'm round!"

"Hurry, Fez," Eric shrieked. "Find a tissue and go make something edible. Hey, Missy, you want some more Jell-O? What about pudding? Do you like pudding?"

Fez was quick to comply. "Please, Missy," he begged, putting his hands to his ears. "I am very sorry. Do not cry, for Heaven's sake, do not cry." He raced upstairs.

Kelso went over to the deep freeze and got himself a fudgesicle. He casually walked back to the couch and sat down, next to Melissa. "Just gag her with something. That'll shut her up, or at least until Hyde gets back."

"That's a great idea," Eric retorted, pulling the fudgesicle from Kelso's mouth. "Here, Missy," he offered, shoving the fudgesicle into her mouth, "its ice cream on a stick, doesn't that make you wanna smile?"

Melissa looked up at him and smiled, "Yeah, a little."

Kelso's jaw dropped, his lower lip quivering. "That was my freakin' fudgesicle, man! Ya know, I honestly don't know how Hyde can put up with this stuff all the time. I bet he never gets to have a fudgesicle!"

Sighing in relief, Eric returned to the back of the sofa.

As luck would have it, Hyde came walking into the basement, just as the hormonal storm blew over. He looked at Melissa's red swollen face and frowned. "What the hell happened?"

"Never mind that," Eric's feminine squeal surfaced. "You've been gone, and we've been here with her. Did you know she started crying? It was out of nowhere, man. She just started crying and crying. It was horrible!"

"Yeah, I know," Steven laughed a little, even despite the emotions he had been feeling. "I've been standing outside the door for a while, man. It sounded pretty brutal, so I just thought I'd let you guys take care of it."

Melissa picked up on the uneasy vibe that Steven was carrying with him. She straightened up, staring into his concerned, pale face. She rose slowly, handing her half-eaten fudgesicle to Kelso.

"Steven," she crossed to him, putting a hand to his forehead, "you look like you're coming down with something. Are you feeling alright?"

At the snickering of his friends, he was quick to shrug her hand off. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Look, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure," she grinned, "anything for you."

Steven opened the door and ushered her out into the small concrete space, which clearly wasn't meant to house two people. Melissa's body pressed uncomfortably up against his. Struggling to shut the door behind them, Hyde's head collided with hers.

She giggled, rubbing her head. "Couldn't you have found a more suitable place to have a conversation? I really don't think this is necessary."

He didn't say anything for moment. He should've confessed to her, but he couldn't—his heart was too busy doing that caring thing again. "Look, man," he sighed, "we need to talk."

"You've said that already."

"Yeah, well…yeah…"

"Is it about you hugging me?"

"No, well, kinda…Well, no."

"What is it?"

"Okay, hypothetically, what if someone came back into your life that was once in your life, but now you don't want that person back in your life, because he or she was such a dillhole? And, what if you have other people in your life, but those people may or may not be as important as the person that is coming back into your life? Better yet, what if all parties involved, know that this person will only disappoint you again?"

Melissa furrowed her brow. "Really, I would totally love to offer you some helpful advice, Stevey, but you totally lost me after the first hypothetical situation."

"Yeah," he sighed, wanting to rub the bridge of his nose, but his hand was pinned behind him. "I'm makin' it really complicated, but just think about it, okay?"

She was still confused, but nodded. "I sure will."

"Good," he returned a firm nod, opening the door. Steven was expecting her to follow, but she didn't; she just stood in the doorway. He turned, still holding the door. "Are you gonna come in, man, or stand there like an idiot?"

"No, no," Melissa gave a dismissive gesture, trying to conceal the fact that she was deeply concerned. "I'm just going to go think about what you were talking about."

"What? No, I didn't mean right…Oh, never mind."

"I'll be back later, if you want me to cook your dinner?"

Steven's brow arched in interest. It must've lasagna night, and Melissa made her entire lasagna from scratch. He hadn't turned her down on a meal and wasn't about to start now. "Yeah, sure…I mean, whatever," he shrugged, waved, and then he shut the door in her face.

In her uncle's kitchen, Melissa stood over the boiling pot of lasagna noodles. She reached beneath the stove, grabbed a baking dish, and placed it on another preheated burner. She had intended on cooking at the Formans', but seeing as she had some thinking to do, she felt it best to do her cooking ahead of time. Whatever it was that Steven was trying to explain earlier still bothered her. Could it have been something about her parents? What were they doing in Point Place? Were they trying to take her back home?

"I'll go back kicking and screaming, if that's the case," she said aloud, checking on the tomato sauce that she had left simmering. She shook her head and gave an empty laugh. "Oh, they couldn't be here. They have a hard enough time believing that I exist."

Running through the list of possible people that could come back into hers or Steven's life, Peter was the last person she took into consideration. She gasped, "Oh, my God…It couldn't be." Distracted, she ended up burning her hands while draining the noodles without an oven mitt. She yelped, dropping the pot in the sink, and running her hands under cold water. "Oh, my gosh, I have to go talk to him…after I finish this lasagna," she looked down at the red throbbing masses, which used to be her hands, "and after I find some ointment and bandages."

Steven was waiting patiently at the Formans' kitchen table. He had a glass of ice tea, an empty plate, and counted down to Melissa's arrival. Just as he reached one second, she was racing into the kitchen; she juggled three large bowls in her arms. She greeted him with weary smile, sitting the dishware on the table and opening each container.

"What the hell happened to your hands, man?" he asked, noticing the big bandages that were wrapped around both hands. "Taking stuff out of the oven without mitts again, huh?"

"Yeah," she replied, breathless, scooping large quantities of food onto his plate, "so we have lasagna, baked beans, garlic bread. If you eat all that, I brought a slice of chocolate cake, and I think I figured out what you were trying to tell me."

Steven stopped a forkful of lasagna, in mid-air, just inches from his mouth. The smell of assorted cheeses and tomato sauce drifted into his nostrils. Slowly, he turned his head, casting an upward glance in her direction. "You," he cleared his throat, nervously, "you have?"

"Yes," she nodded, giving him a somewhat supportive smile. "I understand why you were nervous to talk about it, but you should know that I'll help you through this any way I can."

"Well," he began, sighing in relief, "I wasn't really sure how you'd take it, man. I figured you'd be pretty upset." He paused. "Wait, what do you mean help _me_ through this?"

Melissa chuckled and took a seat, next to him. She lightly laid her hand across his arm. "Steven, you may act like things don't get to you, but I know they do. If my mom suddenly came back into town, without warning, I'd be just as bothered by it as you are."

"Huh? What does Edna have to freakin' do with this?"

Obviously ignoring him, she continued, "You just need to take baby-steps. Now, I'm not saying that you should trust her. I mean, why should you? But, you need to show her that you will not be broke by her lack of nurturing. You've become a sometimes responsible, self-reliant young man, and you don't have to put up with her sudden gain of a conscience."

"Missy," he said, almost yelling. He stopped himself from correcting her assumption. Once again, his stupid heart had taken over his sense of reason, and he couldn't tell her the truth. He forced a smile, "Thanks, man, but I really don't feel like getting into this."

"Right," she nodded, patting his arm. "You just eat your food and not too fast, either."

"Jeez," Steven raised a brow, "were you and Mrs. Forman separated at birth?"

She giggled, getting to her feet. "I'll take that as a compliment…Yeah, so, I'll be in the basement. If you need anything, just shout, and I'll be here in a flip."

He nodded, finally able to savor the cheeses that had been taunting him.

"Hey, Missy," he said, his mouth full of food.

Melissa stopped and the kitchen door and turned to face him.

"Just promise that no matter what happens," he continued, swallowing hard, "you'll make…I mean, you'll help me make the right decision."

With a smile of reassurance, she responded, "I've got your back no matter what."


End file.
